Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The Eagles Are Dead But Marcus Vick Is Alive

Coming out of the bye week, the Philadelphia Eagles still had a chance to get back into the NFC East race and potentially put things together, even after firing their defensive coordinator in a clear panic move. After all, Andy Reid teams were 13-0 following the bye week in the regular season during his tenure, the Eagles were just a game behind the Giants in the loss column, and the Eagles tend to play their best football in November and December under the current regime.

But my friends and I were discussing that possibility and ultimately came to the conclusion, as most Eagles fans did too I suspect, that that scenario wasn't go to play out this time for one simple reason: This team is shitty. Really shitty.

We can say that unequivocally following last night's incredibly difficult to watch 28-13 loss to the Saints down in New Orleans, which came on the heels of the Eagles getting absolutely embarrassed by the Atlanta Falcons. This team is 3-5, which certainly doesn't eliminate them mathematically from the playoffs given there are five division games remaining and a half of season left to play, but for all intents and purposes the 2012 Philadelphia Eagles are dead.

This is a team that cannot block a sole, quite literally playing a rotation of offensive linemen that simply cannot play. They aren't good enough players to even be backups in the NFL, let alone guys you have to rely on week in and week out. The loss of Jason Peters was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to this team, and its trickle-down effect has been disastrous.



Already struggling, the Eagles then lost their center Jason Kelce, the one guy who actually was playing competently. Danny Watkins sucks and then got hurt. Evan Mathis is terrible. And Tood Herremans was playing his worst football of his career, then got injured last night as well. Now the Eagles are forced to play stiffs like King Dunlap, Dallas Reynolds, Dennis Kelly and Demetress Bell. You can't lose four offensive linemen and compete, and truthfully, the Eagles couldn't even keep it together when everyone besides Jason Peters was healthy. They simply have five offensive linemen out there who can't play, which renders the entire offense useless.

On the other side of the ball, the defensive line has been the biggest underachievers on the team. Trent Cole has disappeared. Jason Babin has been exposed as a fraud. And this line that was supposed to be the deepest and most talented group of pass rushers in the league cannot generate pressure. Sure, they got a few sacks last night, but for the most part they were ineffective yet again.


YEAH! WE SUCK!

You can't win the NFL, or any level of football for that matter, if you can't win the battle in the trenches. The game is won and lost at the line of scrimmage, and the Eagles simply are atrocious on both sides of that line. The offensive line is a joke, quite literally full of players not worthy of the NFL contracts they have, while the defensive is all flash and no substance.

When you combine that with poor fundamentals, bad tackling, horrid coverage, boneheaded penalties, turnovers and ignoring the running game even when it's quite literally dominating, you have yourself a disaster. That's the 2012 Philadelphia Eagles. They are a just a shitty team with no hope, and they are dead in the water.

But hey, at least we learned that Marcus Vick, yes that Marcus Vick, is alive and well on Twitter:








































I am really exciting to be following Marcus Vick now.

Posted by Reverend Paul Revere at 12:08 PM
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