Seeing as Ryan Howard is leading all of baseball with 27 home runs and second only to Josh Hamilton in RBIs, not to mention the fact he singlehandedly stopped the Phils' latest skid by winning the last two games, all the Ryan bashers should just shut up. The man is fine. Except he in the field. He still sucks at that.
Now, on to more pressing matters. I'm in a pickle. A major pickle. Today, for my "real" job, I'm supposed to interview someone at The Dallas Morning News about the newspaper's promotion to win Cowboys season tickets for 2008.
Seriously. I'm not making this up. The real question is, as a die hard Eagles fan that truly despises the Cowboys—to the point where, if I find out someone likes the Cowboys, I instantly want to punch them in the face—supposed to talk to a couple people from Dallas who almost definitely like the Cowboys and unquestionably promote them? I've had a DALLAS SUCKS bumper sticker hanging in my bedroom since I was 7 years old, a gift from my grandfather, and last Christmas, my dad got me a DALLAS SUCKS shirt.
This seems like an impossibility. I'm already picturing one of them saying, "Hey, you're from Philadelphia, are you an Eagles fan?" and suddenly the entire nature of the conversation turning toward fandom. This, of course, would be my demise. If the conversation steers that way, I will certainly be fired. No questions asked. The bile I will spew in Dallas' direction will be career suicide.
So, I ask you, what am I to do? Do I simply suck it up, act polite and do my job without the slightest hint of detest in my voice? Or do I become the raving lunatic that inhabits my person when the Birds take on those rat-fuckers from Texas?
I'm not even sure there's a correct answer. I should have just called out sick today.
I'll give you an update, most likely Monday, because I'm sure I'll be too traumatized to tackle it today. What a horrible way to end a work week.
I thought that before NFL training camp started that we would get one thing out in the open right away. Anyone who believes that Kevin Kolb should be playing quarterback at all for the Philadelphia Eagles should be punched in the face. Donovan McNabb is the best quarterback on that team and gives them the best chance to win. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a moron. That is a fact.
Thanks to Mr. Skeets, I've been informed my new favorite Western Conference team is the Houston Rockets. Following in the immortal footsteps of his brother Jon, Brent Barry is now a teammate of Tracy McGrady. Too bad the Sixers couldn't snag him. He fits the mold of that deadly three-point shooter they so desperately need—and if they get one, they could really make some noise with Brand in the fold.
Anyway, here's some old-school Brent Barry, doing what so many forget he could do.
Brent, of course, is possibly the most underrated player of his generation, and one of my personal favorites. Thanks Brent Barry, for proving that white men really can jump. And shoot, of course.
It's a damn good thing for Jimmy Rollins that the Phillies didn't lose and he hit an RBI triple last night, because I was ready to unload on the reigning MVP for absolutely sucking this year.
Luckily for him, Clay Condrey stepped up and pitched brilliantly in the 8th, striking out the side, to give the Phils a chance to win. Then Ryan Howard did what Ryan Howard does, hitting a blast to give the Phils the lead. And Pete Happy followed to add an insurance run, which was more than enough for LIdge. Finally, the Phils won a game.
Can we all just lay off Howard already? I mean, the guy has 80 RBIs, a Phillies record before the All Star break, and is now tied with Chase for the MLB lead in home runs with 25. Yeah, he strikes out way too much and his batting average is horrible, but the man is still producing runs. The real people everyone should be blasting are Rollins, Victorino, Ruiz and whoever plays right field. They've been garbage the last month or so.
On a brighter note, everyone head over to MLB.com and vote for Burrell. That is way more important than working.
More basketball? I must be crazy. Well, I am, but that has nothing to do with this: a great post about Shawn Kemp courtesy Tremendous Upside Potential.
Enjoy it immensely Arkansas Fred. I did this for you, you bastard.
Anyway, I'd like to add my two cents about the Reign Man. In the early years, I was a true Kemp fan. Watching him run the floor, block shots and dunk like a madman gave me tremendous joy, as did watching Gary Payton play sick d and act crazy while Detlef Schrempf hit bombs.
Then Kemp turned into an overweight, cocaine-abusing womanizer that really let us all down. He could have been one of the greatest. Instead he wasted it all away.
However, we're here to look at all the good Shawn Kemp brought us, such as this:
And this:
And this:
Here's hoping Reign Man junior bursts onto the scene like his father did, and learns from his mistakes to become a hero to us all.
With the Phillies officially dropping like Tommy Lasorda at the 2001 All Star game, today has been a basketball kind of day … and I'm not just talking about Elton Brand landing in Philly.
Via The Sporting Blog, Brandon Jennings has decided to forgo his freshman season at Arizona, instead opting to play professionally overseas next season. This is fucking awesome. Finally, someone is standing up to the evil alliance between David Stern and the NCAA. And that man sported a flat-top at the McDonald's game.
Why should Jennings, a player that would have been a lottery pick this season without question, have to wait to get paid? He's done high school, and this ain't football. 18 year olds can and have perform against older players at this level. Hopefully, Jennings will open the floodgates. As much as I love college basketball, Stern and the NCAA will be forced to take another look at this one-and-done rule for real now, especially if Jennings succeeds.
Now, the article on The Sporting News' Web site doesn't disclose who Jennings will play for, but the man will get paid. I applaud him greatly, and Brandon Jennings officially enters the realm of House That Glanville Built favorite. Hopefully the NCAA and Stern will drop the stupid one year rule, and allow both the college game and NBA to not become mockeries. After all, Lebron, Kobe, KG, you know, the best players in the game, came right out of high school. If you're good enough, you should have that option—like Jennings.
Plus, the man is a magician on the court.
The only thing I don't like about this is now we all have to wait an entire year to watch Brandon on the national scene. Enjoy him while you can Europe, he won't be there long.
I will admit that my first thought when hearing of the Sixers signing of Elton Brand was, “FUCK!!!” I was a little concerned, to say the least, of bringing in a man who is entering his 10th NBA season and coming off a ruptured Achilles tendon.
Especially, with the slight chance of possibly Josh Smith being available to fly around the Wachovia Center for the next 5 years. But after taking some time to let the signing sink in, I have to say that I’m pretty happy with this. Elton has been a 20 and 10 guy for his entire career. He has only had the one injury, so it is not like he has a history of problems. He also fills the Sixers' biggest need, power forward and rebounding.
Assuming the Sixers match any offers for Andre Iguodala and Louis Williams, this team is starting to give the impression that they might actually have a shot to win a title within the next two or three years. With a starting five of Andre Miller, Andre Iguodala, Thaddeus Young, Elton Brand and Samuel Dalembert, they have the potential to win a few playoff series this season already.
With Brand taking over the power forward spot, it allows Thaddeus to play his more natural small forward position and for Iguodala to move to the shooting guard. That gives the Sixers a great mixture of athleticism and veteran leadership in their starting five. This move also makes their bench much more improved. The Sixers have somewhat solid depth at the front court, with rebounder extraordinaire Reggie Evans, Jason Smith and hopefully 6’10” rookie Marreese Speights. They also are able to move Willie Green to the bench, who has the capability to give you 20 points when needed.
Lou Williams proved last year that he is a more than decent point guard and is able to give valuable minutes backing up Andre Miller. While they certainly are not any kind of favorites to win this year, in two or three years this team looks like it has a chance to be something special. Even if Andre Miller bolts after his contract expires next year, Louis Williams is looking more and more like he is up to the challenge of running the point for 40 minutes a game.
So for the first time since A.I., (Side Note-There is only one A.I. and he is Allen Iverson, a.k.a. THE ANSWER, a.k.a. Absolutely Incredible, a.k.a. The Greatest Sixer I have ever seen play. I was too young to witness the Doctor.) left Philadelphia, I am excited about this team's future. This one move gives them a better starting frontcourt, backcourt and bench. So I for one am thankful that Elton Brand has come to Philadelphia and welcome him with open arms.
Now if Ed Stefanski could just find a three point shooter, I’ll be ecstatic.
While other Philadelphia fans are ecstatic, I'm torn. First of all, Brand is a Dukie. That is one major strike against him. Second, he's coming off one hell of a serious injury. Third, he's 29 years old. Now, by no means is that ancient, but with a surgically repaired Achilles, 29 is no spring chicken either.
Don't get me wrong, Brand can play. In fact, he was the first Coach K(KK) player to really succeed in the NBA without any injury problems (see Hill, Grant), until his stint on the physically unable to perform list last season. He's a perennial 20-10 guy, and in the Eastern Conference, he'll be one of the best power forwards every single night.
If he's the Elton Brand of old, he instantly makes the Sixers better, and even a major force in the East. Here's the thing: He's not Josh Smith. Granted, Smith is not as good as Elton Brand … yet. But he has the potential to be. In fact, he has the talent and crazy athleticism to be even better … maybe even one of those "special" players that don't come along very often.
I know, I know. The Hawks said they'd match any offer for Smith, but can't a man dream? I guess not when he's an actual GM in the NBA. I can't complain about the move really. Stefanski got the best available player and the biggest need for the team. He's doing a hell of a job. But I lament this move, not only because Brand is a Blue Devil, but because I won't get to see this in a Sixers uniform:
What started as a fantastic fourth of July weekend turned totally sour thanks to two heartbreaking losses on Saturday and Sunday to those second-fiddle New York scumbags. Things were going so well before that, too. On Friday, J.A. Happ kept the Phils in the game to give them a chance to defeat the Mets with Johan on the mound, which they did, right after sweeping the Braves.
Then on Saturday, with John Maine straight up dealing, Ryan Howard decided not to strike out for once, hitting a three-run home run to tie the game. It was the only hit Maine gave up before leaving with the pussiest injury I've ever seen in a baseball game. Three innings later, Jayson Werth came through with a clutch hit to give the Phils the lead in the 7th, and all the Phils had to do was get through one inning before Lidge shut the door.
But no. Romero showed exactly why Boston released him last year, looking more like Ricky Vaughn before he got glasses than an actual pitcher. The walks caused trouble and then Gordon came in and did what Gordon does: suck. Really, can we just stop this Tom Gordon joke? That jerkoff gives up more harmful home runs than anyone that's not currently on the IronPigs.
From there, the heralded Phillies bullpen just got worse, completely imploding. I was fucking pissed. But, shit, the bullpen's been great this year, so I was just chalking up to a bad day.
And then yesterday happened. After a 15 hour rain delay, the game finally resumed. With the Mets scoring in the top of the ninth to make it 2-0, things looked grim … until our old friend Mr. Wagner came in. It's quite comical how much trouble Billy "I'll run my mouth on my way out" Wagner has had with his former mates. And yesterday was no different, as Werth treated Wagner like his bitch, slamming a game-tying 2-run homer with two strikes and two outs in the ninth.
Man that shit was sweet! And then Fernando Tatis (really?) hit a gopher ball by Durbin out to give the Mets the lead in the 12th, and the eventual win. What. The. Fuck. What good is it having the best bullpen in baseball if they can't perform against the fucking Mets?
Those games sucked balls. And honestly, when is this "incredible" hitting team actually going to start hitting before the seventh inning? Can someone tell me? This is starting to get ridiculous. Shane can't hit. Jimmy can't hit. Howard wiffs more than a blind midget trying to hit a pinata. Jenkins should be the one named Werth so we can call him Werthless. And at this point I'd rather have any one of the Phils pitchers at the plate than Carlos Ruiz. Shit, I'd rather have Lieberthal.
This is getting ridiculous. Thankfully, the rest of the division sucks so much the Phils are still in first. But man, they better get their shit together.
Fucking Mets.
Oh yeah. My roommate told me he saw a Mets fan wearing a Joe Carter jersey and a Mets hat. He tried to fight him but instead got kicked out. Seriously, that guy should be fucking castrated, his kids should be maimed and he should be forced to eat shit the rest of his life
So I woke up this morning with every intention of writing about the Phillies. After all, it's the last day of work before the holiday, and my company is closing the office at 12:30. There's no way I planned on doing any actual real work.
The problem is, believe it or not, I didn't have much in my mind to write about. I'm exhausted from broaching the Myers subject. Using Lidge on back-to-back days in non-save situations irritates me, but I don't have much to complain about in regards to Cholly this year. Not yet anyway.
It's nice to see the Phils taking the first two games from Atlanta and all, but a two-game winning streak doesn't get me all fired up just yet. We'll see come the next series. Anyway, I thought I'd just be posting a bunch of YouTube clips about basketball or something until I read this complete piece of garbage by Paul Hagen in today's Daily News.
Basically, Hagen justifies the Phils not resigning Kyle Lohse because he didn't like Citizens Bank Park, and he wouldn't necessarily be having the kind of year he's having in St. Louis if he stayed in Philadelphia. Lohse is currently 10-2 with a 3.67 ERA and nearly a 2-1 strikeout to walk ratio in 18 games.
Last year with the Phils, Lohse was 3-0 with a 4.72 with 42 strikeouts and 24 walks in 11 starts and 13 games total. Not bad numbers. Nothing spectacular, which makes the Phils decision fairly easy for them to justify, but with question marks in Adam Eaton and Myers, signing Lohse would have been smart for two reasons: a) the Phils had a chance to win every game Lohse started in a Phils uniform. The same cannot be said with Adam Eaton; b) he had a small price tag.
Anyway, Eaton was a mess last year, and this year he is a lofty 3-6 with 51 strikeouts and 39! walks and 4.79 ERA (his best as a Phillie) in 17 starts. That's after a 10-10 2007 with 97 strikeouts and 71 freakin walks and 6.29 ERA in 2007. Lohse was the better option last year and this year because he doesn't implode the way Eaton does, and the way Myers has this year.
Anyway, let's address Hagen's points directly:
As tempting as it is to simply transplant Lohse's 10-2 record and 3.67 earned run average onto the Phillies' stats sheet, that's a fantasy. There's no way of knowing how he would be pitching in a Phillies uniform.
That's true, but I'll wager just about every Phillies fan with eyes could have told you Lohse would be better than Eaton.
Lohse didn't constantly complain about Citizens Bandbox Park after being acquired from the Reds last season. But, if asked, he made it clear that he didn't really care for the cozy dimensions.
Busch Stadium has been friendlier. He has a 2.77 ERA and a .218 opponent's batting average there compared to 5.13 and .337 on the road.
OK. He's better in Busch Stadium than Citizens Bank, which he didn't like. But I think a $5 million contract would change his mind a bit.
There was also little pressure in Lohse in St. Louis, a city that tends to support its team unconditionally. Plus, coming into the season, expectations for the Cardinals were as low as they've been in years.
Is there any more pressure than being in a divisional/wild card race up until the final day of the season? Lohse did pretty well with the pressure on last year. And what, now he's Scott Rolen? I don't remember Lohse complaining about criticism or fans. Just because St. Louis fans are overly nice (see stupid, sorry Leitch), that means the players play better there? OK. That's why the Red Sox and Yankees never make the playoffs right? Their fans are so harsh. Oh wait …
Had he stayed in Philadelphia, do you think he would have been reminded about that grand slam he gave up to Colorado's Kaz Matsui in Game 2 of the NL Division Series? Maybe once or twice?
Yes. Your point?
Also, Lohse is working with pitching coach Dave Duncan. No offense to Rich Dubee, or any of the other pitching coaches Lohse had while going 63-74 before this season, but Duncan has a reputation for teasing the most out of pitchers who haven't lived up to their potential elsewhere. Just ask Jeff Weaver.
I can't argue with this whatsoever. Chalk one up for Hagen.
Lohse might well make the All-Star team, which would stir things up again. And perhaps when the Phillies look back, they regret not scraping together the cash to sign him during spring training.
You just can't assume he would have been the same pitcher he's been for St. Louis. It doesn't work that way.
No, you can't assume he'd be 10-2 and having a fantastic season. What you can assume, and it does work this way, is that he would be head and shoulders above Adam Eaton, like he was last year. And he is again. Just like everyone expected.
While Eaton has not been awful all season like he was last year, every team has injuries or pitching issues. The Phillies seem to have them every year. Signing Lohse was the only right move to make. Or at least trying. Hagen, for some reason, is defending a decision that is indefensible.
What's next Paul? An article on why it was smart for the Phils to trade away Ryne Sandberg? How about a piece on why Shawn Bradley was a good draft pick? Or picking Larry Hughes over Paul Pierce? Oh, I got it: having Barry Gardner, Levon Kirkland and Blaine Bishop covering Joe Jurevicius. Even better, the Flyers signing John Vanbiesbrouck.
Penn State won the men's volleyball championship a few weeks back and now are top player is jetting. Apparently playing professional volleyball is a career in Korea. Who knew? It will be tough to repeat without our ace, but if any one place can, it will be a little farming community in the middle of Pennsylvania.
Now here's a little story I gots to tell about three bad brothers you know so well. It started way back in history with Adrock, MCA and me, Mike D.
This little horsey named Paul Revere went to see MCA's movie "Gunnin' for That #1 Spot" last night, and if you love basketball, especially if you follow it from the high school level on up, this is a must see. Its objective was to profile a few of the players showcased in the inaugural Elite 24 game showcasing the top 24 high school players in America, which took place on Sept. 1, 2006, in Rucker Park. Now, the movie will never be considered the greatest of all time, but it gives a different, entertaining view of what it's really like to be one of the best basketball players in the world when you're still just a teenager. Check out the trailer here:
And let me tell you something, the crew that picked the 24 players invited (supposedly the best 24 players, regardless of age or grade, in the country, however some kids I'm sure declined), were pretty dead on.
First, we'll start with our home-grown star Tyreke Evans. At the time of filming, Reke was a 16-year-old, known in these parts as the next best thing. His journey and personality at 16 is clearly defined, at least through the movie's eyes, by his older brother, Eric "Pooh" Evans. Pooh, who won a state championship for Chester High School, defeating Kobe Bryant's Lower Merion squad in the process, projects a hard, tough, intelligent persona that seems to have helped Reke become a humble superstar that, despite living the in hard times of Chester, steers clear of trouble, for the most part.
We all know Reke was considered the best player in the class of 2008, and the American Christian Academy grad is on his way to Memphis, and then almost certainly the NBA.
The other players featured in the film are Michael Beasley, Jerryd Bayless, Donte Greene, Brandon Jennings, Kevin Love, Lance Stephenson and Kyle Singler. I will discuss them all except for Singler. He plays for Duke, and that automatically makes me hate him. Other notable participants include Villanova's Corey Stokes, Neumann-Goretti's Rick Jackson, J.J. Hickson (N.C. State and drafted 19 overall by Cleveland this year), DeAndre Jordan (Texas A&M, drafted by the Clippers No. 35) and Anthony Randolph (LSU, drafted by Golden State No. 14).
As far as picking the crop is concerned, boy did Adam Yauch, with I'm sure the help of many, many others, do a fantastic job. First off, Beasley (No. 2), Love (No. 5), Bayless (No. 11) and Greene (No. 28) were drafted in this year's NBA draft. Each of the profiled players brings something unique to the table.
Bayless provides a hilarious look when a friend of his tells him Evans is on the cover of the magazine, showing surprise and disgust, all in a bit of a playful manner. Bayless also details what it's like being from Arizona, fighting to get the exposure of East Coast kids and kids from bigger states. He wants to make his name at Rucker, and he does pretty good, taking home co-MVP of the Blue Team with Beasley in a winning effort.
Love comes across as your typical, humble kid, even discussing how he just wants to live a normal life until the lights shine on him at UCLA. However, his arrogance shows in his high school highlights, where he struts around the court. And during the game at Rucker, his incredible outlet passing skills are on full display.
Donte Greene has possibly the most compelling story, if it's not Brandon Jennings. Greene comes across as quiet and humble, staying grounded by the death of his mother at a young age. He's determined to make the league for his younger brother, and to thank his grandparents for sacrificing so much for him. Oh yeah, he's also a pawn in the funniest part of the movie. More on that later.
Jennings' story is much like Greene's. He grew up with no father, had people doubting him and is determined to make it big for his younger brother, who calls Brandon his favorite basketball player in the world. Jennings, who is contemplating skipping his freshman year at Arizona and instead playing overseas, also shows his game. He scores 12 points and dishes out 15 assists and is named co-MVP of the White Team along with J.J. Hickson in the losing effort.
Lance Stephenson is the Known Commodity at Rucker Park. A New York kid, Stephenson has been labeled a phenom since he was 12 years old. The film does an outstanding job capturing the neighborhood pulling for him, and the kid is sick. At only 15, he shows no fear going against the older high school kids, and he will be the most coveted high school senior in the class of '09.
And then there is Beasley, the film's unquestioned star. Now, he's not the star due to more screen time. That's shoveled out pretty equally. No, he is the star because of his personality and game. In fact, the film starts with Beasley filming himself in a horror-film feel, only to start cracking himself up. Later, he films himself sliding across the floor in socks, slamming into a wall or door.
Throughout, Beasley clearly displays his playful, goofy attitude. He pulls down a player's pants during filming, discusses mooning his teacher in first grade and jokes with everyone in sight. But make no mistake about it, when it comes game time, Beasley is serious. In fact, before the trip to Rucker, he declares, "If people think they're better than me, we'll see." He lacks no confidence at all. And you know, there was no one better during the game. Beasley finished with 26 points, and really dominated when the Blue Team needed him. And while ferocious and competitive on the court, he still lets his personality shine, talking to refs, trash-talking players and even hollering at females during the game.
And, Beasley offers up the greatest moment of the film. With Donte Greene guarding him, Beasley gets the ball, tells Greene, "You ugly as shit, Donte," and blows by Greene for a nasty reverse layup. It was the most awesome moment in a film full of awesome moments—many of them provided by Beasley.
Anway, the film was pretty nice. It touches on the absurdity of sneaker wars and ranking players as young as fifth grade, but for the most part, it focuses on these kids and their stories. If nothing else, you should watch it for Beasley, who is flat out a beast, in case you haven't heard.
I'm not gonna lie, I've been advocating Myers' demotion for about a month now, but I figured it would be to the bullpen, not the minor leagues. Don't get me wrong, right now he's pitching like a minor-leaguer, but as a friend of mine at work pointed out, how the hell does this help the Phils or Myers?
Best case scenario would be to trade Myers. Certainly, his stock is at an all-time low, but he could have value as a reliever. Shit, he did one hell of a job as the closer last year, and this picture will be an enduring memory for quite some time:
Now, he has absolutely no shot at the closer role, with Lidge being lights out and, you know, his penchant for sucking this year. But he'd be an excellent choice as a long reliever, and with the array of pitches he has, he could be a strong setup man as well. So why send HIM down to the minors? What about, say, Clay Condrey, a guy who really doesn't pitch unless the Phils are down six runs?
The move is confusing as hell to me, but I don't feel sorry to Brett. In fact, I'm elated to have him out of the rotation. I mean, when you can't outpich the 100-year-old Jamie Moyer or even compete on the level of Kyle Kendrick, who has unspectacular stuff, you need a swift kick to the ass. And the fact that you are without question worse than Adam Eaton this year isn't helping anything.
Here's hoping you get your act together, Brett. Otherwise, I propose you be forced to being tied up in a room, legs and hands bound, as your wife repeatedly tees off on you with a bat like opposing batters have done to your fastball this year.
A friend of mine, let's just say, has an inside track on things the Sixers may or may not be doing, and he recently confirmed that Eddie Stefanski and company are prepared to offer Atlanta Hawks restricted free agent Josh Smith a pretty hefty contract.
My reaction? FUCK and YES! While Elton Brand is a much more polished product, he's damaged goods coming off a major injury, not to mention six years older than Smith. Going after this freak of nature from Atlanta makes perfect sense.
First off, Smith is incredibly young, a great fit for a young and upcoming team. He, like the Sixers this year, got to the playoffs, gaining that valuable experience, taking the eventual champion Celtics to the brink. The man can run the floor and knows how to finish. He can play an up-tempo game, and while a bit of a roaming freelancer on both ends of the court, he has the tools to be dominant on both ends.
Oh yea, and he can do this:
Granted, the Hawks can match any offer the Sixers make, so there is a very real possibility Smith won't be in a Sixers uniform. But man, it would be sweet!
Every New England fan's man-crush Wes Welker had this to say about former teammate Asante Samuel's departure from Foxboro (not Boston!) to Philadelphia via USA Today:
"Asante's a great player, so it hurts not to have a guy like that. But then again, it's part of the business of the game," Welker said. "He chose money over championships, and that's the way it goes sometimes."
Oh really, Wes? Asante chose money over championships? And exactly how many championships have you won, Mr. Welker? Oh, that's right—zero. Absolutely none! As many as Donovan McNabb! And Andy Reid (as a head coach)! And the Eagles as an organization! Wait, I think I'm off-topic here.
Oh yeah, point is at least Asante has the rings and knows what it takes to get there. Speak up when you actually win a championship. Douchebag.
Two innings pitched. Five hits. Five runs. Four walks. Yet another home run surrendered.
That was Brett Myers' stat line Friday night. With the Phils really needing to turn the ship around, the offense gave Myers a 5-1 lead in the third. Brett couldn't even get an out in the inning, allowing Texas to put up four runs to tie the game, and the Phils eventually lost yet again.
Friday's outing brought the opening day starter's numbers to this: 3 wins, 9 losses, 115 hits, 101.2 innings pitched, 70 runs, 66 earned runs, a major league leading 24 home runs, 44 walks, 88 strikeouts, a sterling 5.84 ERA, 1.56 WHIP and .284 opponents batting average. Opposing batters are beating him around the same way he does his wife. What? Too soon?
Seriously though, when is enough enough? How can the Phillies continue to trot this disgrace of a pitcher out to the mound every fifth day? I understand the Phils have a shortage of starting arms in the system, but could it really get any worse than this? What harm is there in bringing up, say, a J.A. Happ, and promote the heralded Carlos Carrasco to AAA to get him more experience? Who knows, maybe Happ could even be this year's Kyle Kendrick. Maybe not, but it's worth a shot. And, for an even more novel idea, what about giving the kid Carrasco a shot. He may not be ready, but more and more organizations are giving kids a chance, and more and more are contributing. The Phils, on the other hand, continue to be behind the curve, which is why the likes of Chase Utley and Ryan Howard took so long to reach the majors.
All things considered, there is virtually no way another arm, any arm, could pitch worse than Myers has this year. Only the Reds Bronson Arroyo, Pittsburgh's Ian Snell, Florida's Mark Hendrickson and the Dodgers Brad Penny have a worse ERA for starting pitchers than Myers. And none of them have a worse winning percentage than Myers. Next to Brett, Adam Eaton has looked like Cy freaking Young. That's a major problem.
It's good to see Charlie Manuel at least contemplate Brett's job security, but finding "somebody to do his job first" can't possibly be this hard. At least finding someone to do his job better than him anyway. While it's not the ideal situation, calling up Happ appears to be the best option. The Phils don't have any tradable assets besides Victorino, and losing him would decimate the outfield. Leaving Myers in to straighten things out clearly isn't the answer. He's had more than enough time to answer the bell. Now's the time to call up Happ, hope he's this year's Kendrick, and stop the bleeding.
Philly is on fire today! The Balls, Philadelphia's own A.J. Daulerio, has been named the new editor for Deadspin, picking up where Will Leitch leaves off. While Will will? be missed, it's good to have a Philadelphian in office.
I am still cracking up from this video of former Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Stephen A. Smith at last night's NBA draft. Thank you Awful Announcing
Having said that, you know, knowing dick about the guy, I love the pick. I'm not going to get all insightful and shit like Dubs did, but it's fair to say the man has considerable talent and is one monstrous-sized power forward. He may be a work in progress, but considering the Sixers 40-42 record that somehow qualifies for the playoffs in the East, the kid has some time.
As for the rest of the draft, the real shockers came early and often. Derek Rose No. 1? Surely you jest Chicago! A freshman No. 1 overall? That's preposterous! How will this man make it in the real world without a college education? I am outraged! OUTRAGED! OK, get a grip. It's time for Miami to pick.
If there's one thing I know about Riles, it's this: the man is old. Old people hate teenagers. That's why there was all this talk that the Heat were going to either trade down to get Orange Juice Mayonnaise or just flat-out pick him. After all, he's 21, not 19 like that troublemaker Michael Beasley. I mean, Beasley pulled practical jokes! That is absolutely inconceivable. Orange Juice, on the other hand, simply took thousands upon thousands of dollars illegally. Seems like a standup guy.
Oh, but that Riley, he's a sneaky, sneaky bastard. You know how I know? The greasy hair. While all week everyone said he doesn't like Beasley and won't draft him, sure enough, Beasley goes No. 2. Shocker! The real shocker, when you sit back and look at it, is that no one was talking about how Morning Beverage Condiment was somehow a 21-year-old FRESHMAN. How dumb is this guy? When I turned 21, I was a junior in college who was less than three semesters from graduation. How many times was this moron held back? Really.
Anyway, O.J. went No. 3 and I'm sure you all know the rest of the draft. The highlight for me? No punkass Dukies drafted. At all. That was freakin awesome. As far as the trades go, R-Jeff to the Bucks for Yi and Bobby Simmons seems to make sense on all fronts. The Nets suck. The Bucks suck. Let's trade! Jermaine O'Neal and Chris Bosh should make for an interesting inside duo for Toronto, and the departure of Ford allows Calderon to be the man at point.
But now the biggie. When I went to sleep at midnight, and then again at 2 after my jerkoff roommate started blasting shitty instrumental music with bass that shook the house to wake me up at 12:30, I had no idea a blockbuster was in the works. Then I awoke to this: The T-Wolves trade Mayonnaise, Marko Jaric, Antoine "I'm still in the league?" Walker and Greg "I used to play in Philly and sucked" Buckner to the Grizz for get this: Kevin Love, Mike Miller, Brian Cardinal and Jason Collins. Man, that Kevin McHale loves him some white meat! Someone needs to tell McHale the Celtics just won the NBA playing exactly zero white guys in the playoffs. And when Jason Collins is the blackest player you're getting in a trade, you're in trouble.
Now, Dukie Vitale will absolutely LOVE this trade, pun intended. The man slobbered over Love the entire draft, ranting on about how foreign players shouldn't be picked and I'm pretty sure he cried when he found out no Blue Devils came off the board. Anyway, I like Love's game myself, but come one Dukie V! Name one unathletic, possibly overweight white guy that has succeeded in the NBA since the Celtics of McHale, Bird and everyone else. You can't. Plain and simple.
Stick to college. And Stu Scott, the joke about Dickie V. needing to show more enthusiasm is sooooooo old and played out. Please stop. In fact, do us all a favor and just stop broadcasting completely. You suck. Almost as much as Phillies right now, who lost again. By shutout. Again. Ugh!
