SWEEP, SWEEEEEEPPPP

I'm at a loss for words right now about the Phillies. A sweep of the Brewers to pull in a tie of the wild card and a game behind the douchebag Mets? Really? Joe Blanton pitched 7 innings and only gave up three runs? Did that even happen? Brett Myers has become one of the top 5 pitchers in the NL in the past two months? Jamie Moyer isn't dead?







Just when you think this team is dead, they come back even stronger then before. It's nice to see that fucking idiot, Jimmy Rollins, pulling his usual suck through the first 5 months of the season, and become the best leadoff man in baseball in September again. He does this every year, except for last year, where he was good most of the year. Also, Ryan Howard, you simply are the man. That's it. I don't even remember April or May. You are an amazing giant person. Thank you for being alive.



I'm not sure that there is another pitcher around that wants the ball as much as Brett Myers does right now. That guy has been incredible. In game 2 of the double header, you come along and pitch a complete game 2 hitter. I kinda wish the Phillies would have faced Sabathia this weekend. It would have been nice to give him his first loss in the National League. I must give some respect to Jamie Moyer for asking to pitch on three days rest and coming up with a huge win against the Brewers. There are a lot of guys in the Majors who wouldn't have the balls to come out there in September, on a short rest and pitch a gem. *COUGH* COLE HAMELS *COUGH* PUSSY *COUGH*. But to be 105 years old and do it is incredible. The guy has far exceeded any expectations you could have for someone that throws 80 miles per hour tops. I just hope Cole Hamels is watching and learning.

I swear if this team loses 2 out of three to the Braves now, I will stab something.



In other news, I hate Monday Night Football games. They take too long to get here. Every football game in the NFL that the Eagles play should take place at 1 o'clock on Sundays. I hate sitting around waiting and watching other jerks play football.

Kudos to the guy in the Phillies crowd yesterday after the Shane Victorino home run, wearing the Romo is a Homo t-shirt. And thank you for the camera man for keeping the camera on him for a good three seconds so we could all see it. Also, if it's on tv, it has to be true. I think that's the rule with t-shirts. If I could, I would go to Dallas right now and slap Romo in the face. I could only wish that he gets the same disease that Tom Brady and Charlie Weis have been stricken with. (Speaking of Charlie, that was absolutely awesome on Saturday.)



There is nothing in the world worse than a Dallas fan. I saw a little kid in a grocery store last week wearing a Romo jersey and I had to stop myself from spitting on him. What a fucking faggot kid. What is wrong with parents these days. That's half the problem with our society. Little faggots wearing Cowboys shirts. They should all be punched in the face. I hope their friends at school slam their faces into walls. With that being said, I say Donovan rapes the Cowboys tonight, and I'm going out of the limb here, but I;m willing to bet that Roy Williams bites on a play action fake and gets beat deep on a long touchdown pass to DeSean.

A Little Dose of Nationalism

Like the rest of the universe, I was expecting some big happenings on deadline day yesterday. Turns out, it was one of the most uneventful deadline days in history, save for Griffey moving and the last-minute Manny-Bay-LA blockbuster.

Conspicuously absent from the dealings was the three big players in the National League East. Sure, the Marlins acquired Arthur Rhodes, but that's hardly the earth-shattering move that will put them over the top.



Turns out the biggest transaction in Philadelphia was the Sixers' signing of Louis Williams (which I am pumped about actually). That's wasn't exactly what Phillies fans had in mind. The good news is the Mets and Marlins basically didn't do squat either. This will be a three-team limp to the finish.

And while "Stand" Pat Gillick sat on his hands yesterday, at least the team showed up, actually completing the sweep of the Washington Generals Washington Nationals. Certainly, looking at the record and anemic squad the Nationals sent out makes this sweep seem rather unimpressive. But as a Phillies fan, I know better than that. First of all, the sweep allowed the Phils to reclaim first place (1 gm ahead of New York and 1.5 ahead of Florida), and just as importantly, it showed that the Phils can actually beat teams they're supposed to.

This is something new. Especially against the artists formerly known as the Expos. Over the years, the Nationals have been a thorn in Philadelphia's side. Every season, the Phils are mired in a race to make the playoffs, and every year, the Nationals make it difficult—no matter how far out they are. Hell, before his loss on Wednesday, Tim Redding hadn't surrendered a run to the Phils this year. And last year, last night's starting pitcher, John Lannan, broke Chase Utley's hand with a pitch. Washington is just that kind of team.



But last night, the Phils closed the door on those pesky Nationals, and it felt good. The game was also wildly entertaining. Jayson Werth's early home run to get the lead, Washington scratching out two runs to claw back in it, and then the improbable strikeout/E-2 that allowed Kendrick to reach base, even though he started walking to the dugout, followed by Jimmy's shot. And that was just the beginning. A few hit batters by the Phils, and enter Jesus Colome, the big righty reliever who throws 97 mph. Unhappy with the beating and the beaming, Colome absolutely nailed Utley. It sucks to see Chase get hit, but it was pretty sweet seeing the reaction, with Utley staring Colome down for a second and cursing with his head down on his way to first. I was just praying for a fight. Expect fireworks between these teams in the future.

Unfortunately for me, a fight didn't happen, but the Phils do head to St. Louis with a five-game winning streak and first place. Too bad they couldn't add any pieces yesterday.

Now, onto more pressing matters: I've been discussing this with one my roommates for weeks now. I'm absolutely appalled and infuriated by the Phillies postgame show. The fact that Mitch Williams is allowed to be on Comcast completely blows my mind. I mean, this is THE GUY WHO COST US THE WORLD SERIES! I'm not sure if you all remember this or not, but, you know, Mitch motherfucking Williams blew TWO count them TWO fucking saves in the 1993 World Series—a series Toronto won in 6 games. Do the math. Had he just done his job—the one he was paid to fucking do—and the Phils win in 6. Blame Jim Fregosi all you'd like, but he was just giving the ball to his closer like you're supposed to.

Anything Mitch Williams does should be ridiculed and he should treated with nothing but scorn. He ruined our lives, after all. Yet here we are, subjected to seeing his face after every fucking game. And shit, people even like things he does, like that awful "Yo" commercial. Hell, my fucking roommate even said he thinks he does a good job on the postgame show. Really? How can you take anything he says seriously, especially about how Brett can fix his control problems! Mitch fucking Williams was nicknamed Wild Thing because he couldn't fucking throw strikes. Fuck! I hate that man. And I hate anyone who says a kind word about him. Every time I see that asshole's face on the TV, I want to hit things, specifically Mitch Williams. People who like him should kill themselves. Seriously.