All I Wanna Do Is Link

So last night, during halftime of the Miami-Georgia Tech game, my roommate starts flipping around the channels on the top TV while the Phils were showing on the bottom television. Suddenly, he stumbled on The World's Dumbest Confrontations on truTV. With a title like that, how could we not watch?

Well, to our amazement, this happened:



Listen, I'm one of the whitest people who ever whited, so I'm not the most well-versed person when it comes to others' cultures, but, uh, can anyone on the planet honestly explain to me what the hell is going on here? Seriously, I'm completely baffled. Sure, it didn't help our understanding last night when we saw it that the sound was off because we had the sound on for the Phillies game, but honestly, sound doesn't help. I don't get it. I'm not sure I want to get it. Some things are simply beyond explanation.

Links …

-Check out the defensive end from Michigan that Penn State has plucked out from under the Wolverines' nose:



HIs name is C.J. Olaniyan, and he'd like very much to play for Larry Johnson Sr.

-Turns out Cornelius Ingram wasn't surprised he needed a second surgery. I hope he doesn't plan on ever going back to that doctor who performed the first one.

-Charlie Manuel says Brett Myers isn't ready to close. I say neither is Ryan Madson. Guess Brad Lidge it is. Ugh.

-Surprise, surprise, the Eagles don't want to eat any money if they don't have to. That's why they won't cut or trade Reggie Brown. Yeah, because an inactive player is more valuable than a special teamer if he saves some cash. What a bunch of scrooges.

-Apparently, Chris Pronger and Matt Carle are playing well together as a shutdown defensive pair. The most exciting part to me is that this means Kimmo Timonen and Braydon Coburn will be reunited. I likes the sound of that.

-Who says preseason hockey is boring?



-Yes, Cole is starting to look like the World Series MVP again.

-More on Jacory Harris:

Ready for wild, uneducated declarations? Miami quarterback Jacory Harris will be the #1 pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. He'll be just like JaMarcus Russell, only he'll be good instead of grossly obese.

-Just click here, via TBL. You can thank me later.

-Kobe Bryant's best dunks, because I know how much everyone else here loves Kobe so much.

-SLAM's Fresh 50 2010, starring local product Dion Waiters and Penn State-bound Taran Buie:


Waiters with Nova's Roman Catholic grad Maalik Wayns

17 Dion Waiters 6-3 SG Life Center (NJ) Syracuse Philly product still bullies smaller guards, but has added more of a playmaking mentality.



43 Taran Buie 6-2 SG State College (PA) Penn State Buffalo-area transfer will give his future college supporters a preview of his explosive all-around game.

-Puck Daddy likes JVR:

The Keepers
James van Riemsdyk(notes), Philadelphia Flyers: The Flyers are deeper than Jim Balsillie's pockets, which is the only reason why JVR won't be an impact player this year. However, he has come as advertised and he will be a star forward very soon. He should get into a lot of NHL contests in 2009-10, but the numbers game will hold him to the third line.

-The world needs more Ozzie Guillen:

“This is a tease, man,” Guillen said. “It’s like when you have a girlfriend and you are kissing her all over … and she says no. That’s where we are right now. That’s the way we are. Like I say, it doesn’t matter what Detroit does. It only matters what we do.”

-Brent Barry may retire, seeing as the Rockets are trying to trade him. Please, please don't retire, Brent. I'm not ready for an NBA without you.

-Lou Williams getting some love:

3. Lou Williams, Sixers - As the starting point guard in Philly, it’s time for Sweet Lou to step up. Last year he averaged a respectable 12.8 points, 3.0 assists and 2.0 rebounds in only 23.7 minutes a night. With increased playing time, those numbers should increase as well. If he can become the player we all saw in high school, the League better watch out.

I personally don't see it, but it would be nice if that happened.

-Temple and Drexel are part of ESPN's 24-hour tip-off marathon. Temple takes on Georgetown for an early-season test.

-8 reasons to hate Notre Dame, via Ballhype.

-Dominique Wilkins can still get up:



-That's gonna leave a mark:



Finally, I'd just like to make it known that D' Anton Lynn, the sophomore starting cornerback for Penn State (No. 8), is now my next new favorite Penn Stater.



Of course, Jerome Hayes is and always will be my guy, and Navorro Bowman isn't far behind, but mark my words, you will know D' Anton Lynn before it's all said and done.

Weddings, Gambling, Injuries and Opportunities Lost

In the rankings of weekends in my life, this past one sits somewhere between the time I may or may not have had many freedoms and the weekend following when the Phillies became World Fucking Champions. Actually, closer to the first one, because things could have gone better.



See, Friday I had the idea of taking it easy in preparation for my friend's wedding in Avalon, on the beach no less, Saturday. Instead, I went out with some friends after watching Joe Blanton get outdueled by Rick Nolasco. Shots of tequila are not meant to cap off a night; they're meant to begin one. One of my friends fails to realize this, and I paid the price for it.

Saturday, I was given a reprieve from watching Cole Hamels give up untimely home runs seeing as I was at the aforementioned beach wedding, but even that day started off shitty. The beach is an awesome, awesome place. The ocean, the feel of sand beneath your feet, women in bikinis — all good stuff. Driving to the beach, on the other hand, sucks donkey balls because no matter what time of the day, what day of the week, there is going to be a shit ton of traffic when heading to the beach in the summer. Saturday was no exception.



Atlantic City Expressway my ass. There isn't a damn thing express about it. Especially when the person who drove doesn't have E-Z Pass. It's 2009, everyone should have E-Z Pass by now. Took us almost two and half hours to get to Avalon from Philadelphia. That's just not right.

Thankfully, the weather was all sorts of nice, and the ceremony was quick and painless. Onto the boozin, which is always my favorite part. Honestly, with many good friends and their families I know pretty well, the reception was a good time. The bartenders weren't holding back on the mixed drinks, giving me jack and ginger after jack and ginger that were all much, much more whiskey than ginger ale. I was a little agitated when I heard Cole Hamels failed to pitch like Cole circa 2008 yet again, giving up 4 earned runs on 5 hits, including 4 walks and 2 home runs in just five and a third. When is this guy gonna get his shit together? That pitch he threw to Cody Ross, the one Ross launched to left field, was just a horrible, horrible pitch (I saw it the next morning on Sportscenter). Oh well, I kept drinking and dancing. Despite Cole's performance, I was feeling all right, so naturally, I headed to AC with one of the groomsmen, Paul "lil' Jon" Runyan to be exact, to keep the good times rolling.

Let's just say things could have gone better in Atlantic City. Sure, there were plenty of scantily dressed women … though always tough to decipher the regular ones from the working girls, and I'm always at home playing cards, but lady luck was not on our side. Blackjack started off poorly, although with the change of dealers, my luck started to turn. I was winning hand after hand there for a good while, but ultimately, some jerk kept hitting on 17 and messing up everyone's cards, mine included.



After losing thanks to this tard, I eventually moved over the poker table, where I waited for my hand patiently. When it came, pocket aces, I bet and bet hard, only to get wiped out on the god damn river. I hate you diamonds. I hate you so very much. Honestly, this hand had so much damn money it, as I was betting hard every chance I had, and some asshole chased a flush all the way to the river. Then caught it, erasing my hopes of gaining back all the prior money I had lost in the night. I wanted to jump across the table and choke him. Instead I took my last $20 to the roulette table and lost it rather quickly. Like I said, that could have gone better.

Once we were out of money save for the cab fare we stashed away for a ride back to our friend's house in Ocean City, we headed outside to hail a cab. There, we saw some older gentleman getting into quite the loud verbal tussle with a beat, overweight woman that I can only assume was a cheap prostitute. It was pretty hilarious.

Finally, we got a cab, made the trip to our friend's house and were ready for sleep. It was roughly 4:30 a.m., and we wanted nothing more than to grab a beer and get some rest only to find out were locked out of the house. Nice. After searching around for a hidden key for a while, Lil Jon finally just said fuck it and banged on the door. To our surprise, someone let us in almost immediately. Finally, time for rest.

Battered, beaten and broke, I got about 2 and half hours of sleep before the rest of the house guests were up and at 'em. Ready for a nice day at the beach, instead we awoke to mounds and mounds of rain. I couldn't sleep, couldn't think and couldn't wait to get home. Luckily, the skies did clear and we took a stroll on the boardwalk, but I was ready to get home.

After another hellish ride back to Philadelphia, which again took entirely too long thanks to stupid traffic, I was in my house, tired, weak and hungry, only to get in the house in time to see the Phillies implode.



I tuned in the bottom the the 6th inning, just to time to watch Ryan Howard strike out looking with two on and two out. Then I watched Shane Victorino get ejected for daring to raise his arms in centerfield, Rodrigo Lopez get lit up and Jayson Werth forget how to play defense. Great, great stuff.

After two close losses, that was just a pathetic display of baseball. It's almost as if the Phillies were content to get swept by the Marlins, and that's really the sad part. The Phillies had a chance to step on the necks of the Marlins and demoralize the rest of the division. Take two out of three from the Marlins, or better yet a sweep, and the Phils are sitting pretty. Instead, they get swept, giving the Marlins (and the Braves) a ton of confidence for the final two months.

And while the loss was not Jamie Moyer's fault, if he can't beat the Marlins, who can he beat? The old man did only surrender three runs, but he gave up 11 hits in just five innings. That's not very good, much like the majority of Jamie Moyer outings this year. If Pedro can show he's healthy and effective, it's officially time to remove Jamie from the rotation, as harsh as that may sound. And hell, given Rodrigo Lopez's two outings as a reliever, it may be even more beneficial to give him the fifth spot in the rotation if Pedro doesn't work out, though that seems incredibly unlikely.

All I know is the Phils have some decisions to make here rather quickly if they have hopes of repeating. This weekend could have helped that bid for another World Series run. Instead it was an opportunity lost.

Thankfully, they still have a 4-game lead, but these guys need to show a little more urgency than they did this weekend. If there's one thing they should know better than anyone after the past two seasons, no lead is safe in the division until the calendar flips to October.

To add to a capper of a less-than-stellar weekend, I find out Cornelius Ingram tore his left ACL, the same injury that kept him out last year at Florida, and is gone for the season. So much for having a talented second tight end and huge red zone target.

At least I fell asleep at 7 p.m. and got 13 hours of shuteye before work this morning.