Rides, Rain, Rainbows, Ridiculousness and Andy Reid

This past weekend, I traveled some 500-plus miles from the moment I left my house Friday to the moment I returned to my Philadelphia residence, heading to my first Penn State game with Bill O'Brien as coach, enjoying a birthday celebration and doing a little dog-sitting for my parents in the process.

My venture began by heading back to my parents' house to spend the night as the Phillies were taking the series opener with the Atlanta Braves behind yet another sterling effort from Kyle Kendrick, who has somehow miraculously transformed into a really good pitcher.



My old Penn State season-ticket partner Arkansas Fred lives close to my parents, so I figured I'd head up north and rest my head in my old bedroom before meeting up with AF to head out to the game. When I got to his house at 8 a.m. sharp, I was greeted at the door by a new addition to the AF household: a tiny bulldog-puggle puppy. Naturally, I spent the next half hour playing with the dog, which is about a tenth of the size if it's lucky of my nearly 80-pound black lab, as AF got ready for the road trip.

It was going to be a quick turnaround, just a day trip out to our alma mater to take in the game with another one of our college roommates and his fiancé, but a trip I was looking forward to nonetheless. Being the nice guy that I (sometimes) am, I procured tickets to the game at the request of my buddy, whose future bride had never been to a Penn State game.

So at around 8:30, AF and I began our journey, and shortly after we hit the Pennsylvania Turnpike, we encountered this:



Just a wall of fog encompassing the landscape as far as the eye could see. I sure am glad AF was driving instead of me, because it certainly wasn't the best visibility out there. However, we made it to State College in relatively good time, thanks to the scheduled 3:30 p.m. kickoff helping spread the traffic out. And shortly after we reached I-80, the fog began to dissipate and the sun started to shine through. Perhaps it wouldn't be the dreary, rainy day projected by the weathermen.

When we arrived in the place we called home for four — well four and half for AF — glorious years, we did the usual taking in of the scenery, found a place to park and searched out The Charles and his wife-to-be. We then proceeded to walk through downtown and our old campus, hitting up Canyon Pizza for some slices, strolling through the Old Main walkway, past the library and back to the car for a little light tailgating.



As the clock struck 2:30, we made our way toward the stadium, stopping by my buddy's dad's tailgate and quickly saying hello before entering the stadium. Now, I have been going to Penn State for literally more than 20 years to watch games, more times than not securing tickets from my uncle. The past few seasons, he's had 10 tickets to every game, with six seats near the 10-yard line and four seats around the 40-, 45-yard line. Minus the four years I was a student and the two years I had season tickets with AF, I've pretty much always sat in one of those two locations. But my uncle recently upgraded his pair of six, to right on the 50-yard line. Thus, we had basically perfect seats at midfield … seats that just so happen to be right next to my friend's dad's section — the same guy who we stopped to say hello to at his tailgate.



It was quite the pleasant surprise, both because of the view and because I got to see my buddy's father in action. Let's just say he gets incredibly into the game.

I can't say the same for the rest of the crowd Saturday afternoon. I don't know if it was the dreary weather — it rained lightly on and off all game — the opponent or the slow start and difficult circumstances surrounding the season, but there were a whole hell of a lot of empty seats at this Temple game. It was certainly the most lightly attended game I've been at in Beaver Stadium in a long while.

As for the game itself, it was frustrating for a while until Penn State finally came through with a touchdown late in the first quarter. All quarter long, we watched as Temple played Allen Robinson, the third leading receiver in the nation coming in, in one-on-one man coverage. Naturally, you would think Matt McGloin would be tossing him the ball every chance he could against man coverage, yet that wasn't the case the first few drives. Robinson was targeted so little that AF began to get incredibly irritated, asking why they weren't throwing Robinson the ball and demanding they do so.

Finally, on a  4th and 5 from the Temple 41-yard line in a scoreless game, Bill O'Brien decided to go for it and called Robinson's number. I didn't think the Nittany Lions should have gone for it, and if I was the coach I certainly would have punted given the way the defense was playing, but O'Brien's gamble paid off. McGloin hit Robinson on a quick slant, and the breakout wide receiver took it to the house for the opening score.



The rest of the game was fairly uneventful. A slew of penalties slowed down the game. The rains made for a light nuisance, and the competition was not up for the challenge. Penn State controlled the lines on both sides of the ball, with the Penn State offensive line creating huge holes that allowed Michael Zordich and Zach Swinak to both average five yards a carry, and the defensive line led by Jordan Hill put constant pressure on Chris Coyer, even if they did give up a few big runs. It was just another example of Penn State simply being better across the board than the Owls.

Matt McGloin had another impressive day, throwing for a career-high 318 yards, tossing the aforementioned touchdown pass to Robinson and adding two rushing touchdowns of his own in the 24-13 victory. Despite not looking to Robinson enough, he was effective all game, really relying on his tight ends, particularly impressive freshman Kyle Carter. Even the interception was not McGloin's fault, as it went right off the hands of Brandon Moseby-Felder.

The redhead isn't going to win any awards or play football beyond this year, but he has been much more impressive through four games in 2012 than he was in 2011, and this is coming from someone who is not exactly a Matt McGloin fan.



However, while I had no problems with McGloin on Saturday, I had a big problem with whoever the hell is in charge of the music at Penn State. Truthfully, this has been an issue since forever, something that irritates me to no end. Many times on Saturday, Penn State went to the no huddle with Temple on its heels. That means McGloin was making the calls at the line and trying to communicate with his teammates. In your home stadium, that means you want the place to be quiet until the ball is snapped. Yet time and time again, as has been the case for years at Penn State, there is pumped in music and crowd noise between plays, even with the Nittany Lions on offense and even with the home team trying to run the no huddle. It's so god damn counterproductive and flat-out stupid that I can't even handle it. I want the person in charge of that fired. I know wishing someone to lose his or her job is not a nice thing, but this has been going on for years. Whoever is the person who makes that decision is an incompetent fool who knows nothing about football.

But hey, at least Penn State won and there was a cool rainbow that appeared.





Oh, and the 1982 national championship team was honored at halftime, which is always nice.



Once the game was over, we said our goodbyes and then decided to head back east, seeing as both AF and I are old and tire easily, and because he had to get back to the family and help take care of this brand-new puppy.

The ride back was fairly torturous, as we both struggled to keep our eyes open. If it wasn't for a desperately needed McDonald's stop to nab a few double cheeseburgers — a tradition we started while college students — we may not have made it at all. The weariness was taking over, and as you know, the drive back is always worse than the drive there. All the anticipation and excitement are gone, and all you want to do is be out of the car and in your bed.

However, bed was not my next destination. On our way home, two of my friends said I should come out to a bar that was more than a half hour away from AF's house. For some reason, I decided, what the hell, and took them up on the offer.

Despite being ridiculously tired, it turned out to be one of the better recent decisions in my life. Not only did I meet up with my friends to celebrate the birthday of my one friend's girlfriend, but I wound up getting plenty drunk, meeting a very nice, interesting young woman, finding a nice place to rest my head and getting a ride back to my car the next morning. That's what you call a pretty full Saturday.

So full, in fact, that I barely had anything left in the tank for Sunday. When I reached my parents' house, I collapsed, slept until just before the 1 o'clock kickoffs and spent most of the day taking care of the dog and going in and out of consciousness until it was time for the Eagles-Cardinals game.

It would have been just as prudent to stay in my slumber, it turns out, given how awful the Eagles looked yesterday.



There's not much I can add to the game beyond everything I've been reading. It was a brutal game, with the Eagles simply getting beat by a very good Arizona Cardinals team that has an absolutely dominant defense through three weeks.

I will say that it makes absolutely no sense for Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg to come out and throw the ball 25 times and run it just 5 times to open the game despite: 1. having two ineffective backups starting for an injured offensive line; 2. playing against a ferocious defense with a dominant line; 3. having one of the best running backs in the NFL; and 4. having a quarterback who has struggled against pressure and cannot stop turning the ball over. It was a flawed game plan from the start, and shockingly, it exposed the team's flaws.

Daryl Washington and Kerry Rhodes were absolute beasts for Arizona defensively, with Washington flying all over the field and Rhodes destroying people and coming up with arguably the biggest play of the game. No, not the sack, fumble returned for a touchdown to close out the half, which obviously was huge, but the play before that sequence of plays at the 1 — the tackle by Rhodes to stop DeSean Jackson at the 1 and prevent a touchdown. It was huge, and wound up setting up that fumble return that sealed the game.

On the other side of the ball, Larry Fitzgerald did what Larry Fitzgerald does, giving the Eagles fits. That guy is good.

Of course, the game was defined by terrible clock management, wasted timeouts and turnovers … par of the course with the Eagles. It's maddening and inexplicable, yet it continues year after year after year. Reid and Marty are infuriating to watch call a game, and MIchael Vick is infuriating to watch play quarterback. Yes, Vick was poorly protected and running his for life per usual and got no help from his coaches, but he was also staring down receivers, holding on to the ball too long and taking unnecessary hits due his lack of awareness for the position. The man is an electrifying talent and still better than a large portion of quarterbacks in the NFL, but he just is not a very smart signal caller. When you compound that with poor play-calling, poor protection, neglecting the running the game and turnovers galore, you have a debacle like yesterday.

The Eagles are 2-1, which is a good thing, and the Cardinals are a lot better than anyone anticipated heading into the season. But the Eagles also have an offensive line relying on unreliable players and are averaging four turnovers a game through three games, with teams like the Giants, Steelers, Lions and Falcons on the way.

Yesterday's loss provided reason to worry, particularly if the line cannot improve against the pass rush of those teams coming up.

It was not a good Sunday for the Eagles … and the Phillies lost their second in row to the Braves, all but wiping away their postseason hopes, now a full five games behind the St. Louis Cardinals for that second wild card spot.

But hey, at least Penn State won, the scenery was great and I had fun while I could. Because god knows watching that game yesterday was anything was but.

MLB Races to Watch Down the Stretch

As we come out of the dog days and baseball heads into the stretch run, I'd like to highlight some of the more interesting races/storylines to pay attention to over the final six weeks of the season. With a few hotly contested division races and the addition of the second wild-card spot creating some extra intrigue, there is plenty of interesting baseball to watch, even as we wait for the Phillies' season to mercifully end around these parts.

AL Central
Currently the White Sox lead the Tigers by 2 games. It's somewhat of a surprise that Chicago has maintained a lead this late into the season, as the Tigers made themselves the favorite with the offseason acquisition of Prince Fielder. The Tigers are loaded with talent, having an MVP candidate in Miguel Cabrera and Cy Young candidate Justin Verlander.

The White Sox have stayed right with the Tigers with the resurgence of Adam Dunn and his 36 homers, the consistency of Paul Konerko, and the steady play from Alex Rios and Alejandro De Aza, as well as the surprise pitching of Chris Sale. The two teams have seven games left against each other, a three-game set in Detroit and a four-game set in Chicago in mid-September. The Sox are 4-7 against the Tigers this season.




NL West
The Giants currently own a half-game lead over the Dodgers. San Francisco has thrived despite the struggles of Tim Lincecum because Tim's fellow pitchers have picked up the slack. Madison Bumgarner, Matt Cain and Ryan Vogelsong have been quite impressive, all posting sub-3.00 ERAs. The offense has been supported by a juiced-up Melky Cabrera, who is now serving a 50-game suspension, but Buster Posey has returned to form and Pablo Sandoval has been steady as well.

The Dodgers made a splash at the trade deadline by adding Shane Victorino and Hanley Ramirez. Matt Kemp is a stud if he can stay healthy, and Andre Ethier is solid. The pitching has been steady but not spectacular, anchored by Clayton Kershaw. The two teams play the second of a three-game series tonight, with the Giants winning last night, then play six more times this season, including a three-game series in L.A. to end the season that could be real interesting.

Wild Cards
The NL Central and AL West races were looking real interesting just a few weeks ago. The Pirates were right on the tail of the Reds, as they look to end a 20-year playoff drought, but the Reds have opened up a 6.5 game lead. Not insurmountable, but not particularly tight either.

In the AL West, the Angels were threatening the Rangers while also trying to hold off the surging A's. Well Texas's lead stands at 6 over Oakland, who's managed to overtake the Angels, while the Angels sit at 9.5 back. All this brings us to the wild card races, which have added intrigue this season with the addition of a second spot in each league.

First the American League. The AL race sees five teams within four games of the two wild card spots. Tampa Bay and Baltimore are tied for the lead and currently hold the wild cards. The A's are a half-game back, the Tigers 1.5 game, and the Angels 4. That should make for some interesting baseball down the stretch as the Orioles and Rays see each other six more times, as do the A's and Angels. It's nice to see some different teams in the mix too, namely the Orioles and A's.

In the National League, one of the major storylines the whole second half of the season has been whether or not the Pirates can keep up the pace and finally make a postseason appearance after 20 unproductive seasons. Well, they currently hold one of the two spots, tied with Atlanta. The Dodgers are a half-game back, the Cardinals are 1.5 and the Diamondbacks are 5 back. All of these teams face at least two of the other teams in the remaining schedule. Perhaps the most interesting of these series will be the Pirates and the Braves to close out the season. I'm kind of hoping the Pirates pull it off, not because I particularly care about them ending their drought, but because I want to see Andrew McCutchen play under the bright lights of October. [Editor's note: Also, screw the Braves.]



Enjoy the rest of the season, tune in to some games you normally wouldn't, check out the talents of some players you normally wouldn't and see how this shakes out. Oh, and for you eternal optimists out there (which I am not), the Cardinals were 10 or 10.5 games out of a playoff spot last season on August 27th. They obviously went on to win the World Series. The Phillies currently sit 10 games out of a playoff spot. Just saying.

Hunting Fastballs, Not Squirrels

If you happened to watch game 4 between the Phillies and Cardinals, you undoubtedly noticed how many times Bob Brenly — who I actually think has done a fine job calling this series — mentioned that the St. Louis hitters were "hunting fastballs" last night.



The Phillies began the game doing the exact same thing, attacking Edwin Jackson right out of the gate and not waiting around for him to unveil his slider. That strategy worked extremely well in the first inning, with Jimmy Rollins mashing a leadoff ground-rule double — with a little help from the sun and John Jay's lack of vision — that bounced off the warning track, Chase Utley ripping a triple down the line and Hunter Pence driving Chase home with an RBI single. Sadly, that was the end of the Phillies hunting fastballs.

Despite scoring those two runs on three hits to start the game, the offense essentially shut down after that. Ryan Howard and Pence combined for a strike-em-out, throw-em-out double play to relieve the first-inning pressure, and the Phils stopped attacking balls in the strike zone after that. No one outside of Rollins and Utley took notice as to what Edwin Jackson was doing on the mound. Maybe they needed Joe Blanton out there.



To Jackson's credit, he adjusted by throwing more sliders to start hitters off, but it was almost as if the Phillies stopped looking for fastballs early in the count to hit. And that's been the case all series long actually. In game 3, Jaime Garcia was making a habit of throwing first-pitch fastballs, no harder than 89 mph, right down the middle of the plate to get ahead, yet time and time again, the Phillies were taking for strike one. It took a pinch hitter in the 7th inning to finally attack on the first pitch, and it turned into the game-winning home run.

The Cardinals, on the other hand, have been showing exactly why they were the top hitting club in the NL. In a lineup full of smart hitters, the Cardinals have been attacking any and all gimme fastballs early in the count, and then laying off the low pitches just waiting for the pitcher to make a mistake and elevate the ball. That's why they have so many hits in this series.

I don't think anyone would dispute that heading into the series the Phillies had the better team on paper, particularly with the starting rotation. Yes, St. Louis has a potent lineup, but the Phils have guys who can hit as well. But what has been the biggest difference is the Cardinals are playing smarter baseball all across the board — smarter at-bats, smarter in-game decisions, smarter plays in the field.

Just look at the at-bats put together by the Cards last night. If they saw a meatball, they went right after it. Roy Oswalt left some pitches up and over the plate, and they made him pay, just as they did with Roy Halladay in the first inning of the series, like they did the entire game against Cliff Lee, and like they did early in making Hamels earn every out he got in game 3.

They've been running the bases extremely well, like Matt Holliday of all people scoring from first on a double to left field. And they've been making the smart defensive plays, like somehow holding a runner on second on a grounder hit to the right side, and a guy like Albert Pujols wisely coming off the bag to nail Chase Utley at third.



Meanwhile, you have Roy Oswalt leading off an inning by walking the first batter and hitting the second before leaving a meatball out over the plate for David Freese, or hanging an 0-2 pitch to Matt Holliday for a hit instead of burying one in the dirt.

You have Chase Utley making an absolutely boneheaded, indefensible base-running gaff, one that took the air out of the balloon for a rally, though probably wouldn't have mattered given how god-awful Ryan Howard has been in his home town. And don't give me the bullshit line that Chase was just trying to make something happen on that play. It was stupid, infinitely more stupid when you consider Rafael Furcal has a gun at short, meaning the ball is getting to the first baseman very quickly, and that Albert Pujols easily has the best arm of any first baseman in the league, one so strong that Tony La Russa didn't hesitate to put him at third, the position he used to play back in the day, this year when David Freese was hurt. The chances of making it there are not very good. It was a dumb play, plain and simple, like the time Chase hurt himself trying to stretch a single into a double even though there was absolutely no chance he could. There's a difference between aggressive and stupid. Normally, Chase toes that line really well. Last night he did not.

Though it's hard to get on Chase too much, because even if he stayed at second, Pence would have been thrown out at first for out 1. Then Howard flew out for out two, and Victorino got out as well. Still, he would have been on second as the tying run in the 6th, with RBI-machine Howard up. It could have changed the complexion of the inning. Instead Chase killed a rally before it started.

Though to be fair, at least Utley is hitting the ball. He and Rollins have been the two guys consistently putting together quality at-bats and getting on base. It's the rest of the lineup that is killing them. Howard has two huge hits in this series, but that's it. Since coming to St. Louis, his hometown where he usually mashes, Howard has been invisible. Literally. The guy did not get a single hit or even reach base once in games 3 or 4, going a combined 0-for-8 with 5 strikeouts. That's not going to cut it if the Phillies expect to win.

And Howard has hardly been alone. Pence has gotten some hits, but he's yet to be close to the hitter he was closing out the regular season in the red pinstripes. The 7-8-9 hole has been just that, a black hole. Where the Cards have given the Phils problems at the bottom of the order, whether it be good at-bats by John Jay, soul-crushing hits by Ryan Theriot or last night David Freese mashing a double and the basically game-clinching home run for a 4-RBI night, the 7 and 8 hitters for St. Louis have been excellent. For the Phillies, Placido Polanco and Carlos Ruiz haven't done shit. Polanco is so anemic at the plate right now that I wouldn't even mind seeing Wilson Valdez or Michael Martinez get a start, which speaks volumes considering those two can't hit for shit. And Ruiz, who finished the regular season with an impressive .283 batting average, has been anything but El Senor Octubre.

The good news is that the Phillies have their man on the mound tomorrow night, the guy they brought in exactly for this moment. It's hard to feel anything but confident with Roy Halladay taking the ball. Though it certainly won't be an easy task. The Cards have their ace on the hill as well, this time on full rest, and if it comes down to the bullpen, well, the Cardinals have had the advantage in the series to everyone's surprise. It may take a complete-game shutout by Doc to advance, and honestly, there's no one I'd rather have out there to do just that.

On a side note, what's up with the squirrels in St. Louis?



Seriously, someone tell those jerks to stay off the field.

Forgot About Ben

It must have been strange to be Ben Fracisco in 2011. Think about it. The guy went from the opening-day starting right fielder for the National League favorites, a guy both the Phillies and fans hoped would fill the considerable shoes of the recently departed Jayson Werth.



After a nice start in the first couple series, Francisco started to slump and slump hard. Just like that he went from starting right fielder to goat. Fans were all over him, and everyone under the sun wanted Domonic Brown to take his place. Eventually, he did. And even when Brown adjusted slowly to the majors, no one was calling for Francisco to return to the lineup — they were calling for a new right fielder. Enter Hunter Pence, all but banishing Francisco to a few at-bats a month.

In seemingly a blink of an eye he went from potential breakout star to whipping boy to afterthought. But a funny thing happened to Francisco as his playing time decreased. He became a better player. He started to get consistent hits either in spot starts or a pinch-hitting role. And by the time September was through, Francisco was on a hot streak at the plate.

And boy, did the Phillies ever need Ben Francisco and his bat last night.



It was quite a strange game given its ebb and flow. Right out of the shoot, you could tell the Phils were in trouble at the plate. Not only was Jaime Garcia throwing strikes, but he was throwing nasty strikes. The ball was darting out of his hand, with pitches either running one way or the other or dropping off the table. His stuff was good. Real good. And he was breezing through the Phillies lineup, to the point that it looked completely effortless.

On the flip side, Cole Hamels wasn't his sharpest. He, too, was throwing strikes, but he just couldn't put anyone away. Give the Cardinals credit, they were laying off many of Cole's disappearing changeups, fouling off and spoiling good pitches and just making him work every at bat. Great approach by the Cards.

The way it started out, you got an uneasy feeling if you were a Phillies fan. Especially since once again the bottom of the St. Louis order proved to be a nuisance, particularly Ryan Theriot.



Every playoff series that your favorite team plays in, there will inevitably be a guy on the opposing team that emerges as the guy you absolutely start to hate. Through three games in this series, it's not even close regarding the Cardinals. I hate Ryan Theriot and his stupid face. This guy didn't even start in game 1, and now the Phillies can't get him out as if he's Albert Pujols. For god's sake, the guy had four hits last night and is batting .667 in the series. Read that again, .667, from a guy who hit .271 this year. God I hate him so very much.

Anyway, through five innings, Garcia had barely broken a sweat while Hamels was already approaching 100 pitches. But a funny thing happened. Around the 4th or 5th, the Phillies, even though they weren't getting results, started to work better at-bats, while Hamels, who threw a shit ton of pitches in the first few frames, began to look sharper and throw fewer pitches per inning. You could kind of feel the tide starting to shift.

And in the 6th, the momentum really began to sway in Philadelphia's favor. Hamels led off the inning by absolutely smoking a ball to left field, the hardest hit ball since Hunter Pence's one-pitch laser line out in the first. Unfortunately, Allen Craig made a nice catch on it, but the pitch by Garcia was a sign of things to come. Two batters later, Chase Utley singled, and Hunter Pence was intentionally walked after Utley advanced to second on a wild pitch. Jaime did get Howard to ground out and end the threat, but he labored through the inning and showed some vulnerability.

Cole came out in the bottom half and struck out the side, though he had to work too as that little shit Theriot got a two-out single and John Jay walked. But still, really nice job by Cole, who after laboring a bit early really bore down and pitched a great game.

By the way, my roommate and I have been wondering why the Phillies are not pitching Theriot inside at all. The guy has absolutely no power and never even remotely tries to pull the ball. He looks to go the other way all the time. To us, it seems like pitching him outside is exactly what he wants the Phillies to do. And that's what they've been doing. As a result, they can't get the fucker out. Why not start pounding him inside, either with fastballs or even soft stuff, to make it more difficult for him to go the other way? It's been bothering us that they just keep working him outside. Clearly it's not working. Time to try something different.

Back to the game. The 6th inning proved to be the one that gave the Phils confidence against Garcia, and it carried over immediately in the 7th. For the first time all game, a leadoff batter reached base, as Shane Victorino singled to begin the 7th. He quickly moved to second on an extremely lazy and uncharacteristic passed ball by Yadier Molina, but John Mayberry, despite his best efforts to hit the ball to the right side, could not move Victorino to third, popping out to shallow right. Then Placido Polanco, who has been absolutely nonexistent at the plate, grounded out to third. So a runner at second with no one out turned into a runner at second with two outs. Not good.

Up stepped Carlos Ruiz, who had been struggling almost as much as Polanco at the dish. Earlier in the game, he got his first hit of the series on a high chopper that got over David Freese's head, but it was hardly an intimidating hit. Where Theriot and John Jay were killing the Phillies at the bottom of the order, Polanco and Ruiz were not making St. Louis pay. Despite that, La Russa and Garcia decided to intentionally walk Ruiz to get to pinch-hitter Ben Francisco.

It was a curious decision for sure, but I'd be lying if I said I thought it was a dumb decision. Let's face it, even with Francisco's impressive numbers at the end of the regular season, no one really expects much out of him. Honestly, when he was announced as the hitter, I said I'd almost rather have Raul Ibanez pinch hit against the lefty in an RBI spot than have Francisco in there. Raul has had some pretty clutch hits for this team this year, whereas Francisco hasn't done much at all. And Adam EatShit said there's absolutely no pressure on Francisco here because no one actually expects him to get a hit.

Then just like that, boom, 3-0 Phils.



When he hit it, it was more of a stunned excitement than the normal pure and utter joy from us. I mean, we were pumped and jumping and thrilled, but it was more quiet, more watching in disbelief than exploding with rowdiness. Without a shadow of a doubt, it was the biggest hit of Ben Francisco's career. From potential hero, to goat, to afterthought, to the hero we were all hoping for, albeit in an unexpected capacity. Unreal.

However, the game was hardly over. Vance Worley came in for the bottom of the 7th and after getting Rafael Furcal to ground out, he lost Craig and walked him, an absolute no-no. It was the second time on the night that the Phillies walked Craig ahead of Pujols. You cannot do that. Ever. I don't care if you have to throw the ball right down the middle of the plate to Craig, you do not walk him in front of Pujols. That's just asking for trouble.

Of course Pujols followed with a single, his third hit of the night after doubling twice off Hamels, and Freese wound up singling him home to make it 3-1. Still, Vance got out of it, and we all expected Charlie to turn to either Brad Lidge or Antonio Bastardo in the 8th. With Theriot scheduled to lead off, we thought it would be Lidge in to start the inning with Bastardo warming up and ready to go at the drop of a hat.

Manuel went a different, surprising route. Worley, who gave up two hits and a walk, went back out there to start the 8th. None of us knew what the hell was going on, and it backfired. Of course it did, because Worley had to face Theriot. Naturally that fucking guy got his fourth hit of the night, and Worley's night was done. In came Bastardo, who did his job by getting Nick Punto to fly out. And here's where Charlie did another strange thing.

After Bastardo got Punto out, Matt Holliday was introduced as the pinch hitter. Holliday has an injured hand and hasn't started because he says it's too painful and not strong enough to allow him to hit with his hands. With that in mind, it would make sense to pound Holliday inside with a pitcher who throws hard and has a heavy fastball. Bastardo is that guy. And even though he's lefthanded, he's been great against righties and seemed like the perfect guy to attack the injured Holliday. So of course Charlie takes out Bastardo and turns to Brad Lidge, a guy who basically throws 80 percent sliders these days. Baffling decision, and again it did not work.

Lidge gave up a single to Holliday on a looping slider, followed by another single to shallow left that dropped in front of Mayberry, loading the bases. Fuck.

That was it for Lidge, as closer Ryan Madson came in, but the situation was precarious to say the least. We were sitting on pins and needles. But no need, because Madson, who really has been nothing short of awesome this year, got Craig to ground into the inning-ending double play, 3-1 lead still in tact. Holy shit.



It was huge for two reasons. Number one, it got the Phils out of the inning without surrendering a run. And number two, it ensured that Albert Pujols could not come to the plate as the tying run, because he was left sitting in the on-deck circle.

And it's a good thing, because Pujols led off with his fourth hit and third double of the game and wound up scoring. But it didn't matter. Madson shut the door and finished off the five-out save for the 3-2 win, and the Phils are up 2-1 with a favorable pitching matchup of Roy Oswalt taking on Edwin Jackson tonight with a chance to advance.

All thanks to Ben Francisco, the most unlikeliest of heros, a guy many of us forgot about a long time ago.



P.S. Go check me out at Ed the Sports Fan, where I'll be taking over writing duties on Wednesdays.

No Lead Is Ever Safe, Especially for the Eagles

In general, people grow tired of hearing sports cliche after sports cliche. But there's a reason cliches are uttered by coaches, managers and athletes over and over again — because they often are true. This weekend leant credence to one of the oldest cliches in the book: No lead is ever safe.

Not a 16-3 lead against a conference doormat. Not a 3-0 lead in the first inning on the road. Not a 20-3 halftime lead at home. And not a 4-0 lead with one of your aces on the mound.



Everything started to unravel on Saturday as I put myself through the torture that was watching Penn State take on Indiana. It was a terrifying game in which Penn State trailed freakin Indiana for most of the first half and went in at halftime tied 3-3.

While the defense was awesome almost all game, making the 16-3 lead seem like 50-3, Indiana found a way to finally move the ball downfield and score a touchdown, making it a six-point game. Honestly, Penn State could have easily lost that game and it was just more of the same. The quarterbacks stink. Both of them. Matt McGloin and Rob Bolden are both terrible, and they're both getting worse because the coaching staff won't let one develop. Even when they make a good play, like McGloin's 74-yard touchdown pass to Derek Moye, it was the wrong throw. Moye was actually covered, while the tight end had no one within 20 yards of him over the middle. Worked out, but still, these guys stink.

I'm not even going to waste any more of my breath on this game other than to say I hate pretty much everyone on the team right now except for Devon Still and Justin Brown. This is just a bad football that also happens to be terribly coached. It's going to be extremely painful here as the Big Ten season is underway.

Here is what can be loosely described as the highlights.



I really shouldn't have even bothered watching that travesty of a football game.

And things went from ugly to bad in the first inning of the Phillies game. Roy Halladay continued his strange trend of being exponentially worse in the first inning than he is in every other inning, giving up a leadoff single to Rafael Furcal, walking Albert Pujols and then giving Lance Berkman a hanger, which he quickly deposited in the rightfield seats. It was just like the last time Doc faced the Cards, with Furcal hitting the first pitch and Berkman blasting a home run.

Making it infinitely worse, Adam EatShit was going off the deep end of despair, proclaiming the series all but lost. Thankfully Roy and the Phils did not maintain that same mentality.

As frustrating as it was watching Kyle Lohse deal, you could see Halladay flip a switch and bear down. After that first inning, Halladay went out and retired 23 of the next 24 batters he faced, including 21 in a row.



After the Phils scratched one out against Lohse in the 4th, you got the feeling something good was going to happen, and boy did it ever. With Doc rolling, the offense got a jolt of energy with that run in the 4th, and Jimmy Rollins got things kickstarted in the 6th with a leadoff single. After Chase struck out, Hunter Pence singled and we all started to get really excited with Ryan Howard at the plate.

What happened next is exactly why the Phillies overpaid for the big man. Howard worked one of the best at-bats of his entire career, laying off bad pitches, fouling off a great changeup to stay alive with two strikes, and then finally murdering a baseball to the upper deck to put the Phillies ahead 4-3.



All five of us in the room leapt from out seats and began bouncing around, with Adam tossing me back down into my seat. That's why Ryan gets paid the big bucks. One incredible at-bat and a gigantic blast completely changed the complexion of the game. Just like that, the 3-run deficit was erased and now turned into a one-run lead. Two batters later, Raul Ibanez emphatically put the game away.



The Phils put a five-spot up in that sixth and never looked back, tacking on 3 more in the 7th and two more in the 8th to take game 1 pretty easily. After that shaky first inning, Halladay was as good as he's ever been, finishing with 8 innings pitched, 3 hits, 8 strikeouts and just one walk. The only troubling thing after that first was Michael Stutes struggling with a big lead, but Ryan Madson made sure no major damage could be done.

The top of the order was on fire, with Jimmy (2-for-4, 3 runs), Chase (3-for-5, 3 runs), Hunter (2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBI), Ryan (1-for-3, 4 RBI), Shane (3-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBI) and Raul (2-for-4, 1 run, 3 RBI) absolutely destroying the baseball. It certainly was a nice way to get the postseason started.

Unfortunately, the good times wouldn't last in Philadelphia. Minutes before the Eagles were set to kick off against the Niners, I received a terrible omen. My arch nemesis was being honored prior to the game as the hometown hero. Right away, when Arkansas Fred texted me about it, I told him the Eagles were definitely going to lose. I just had no idea it would happen by them blowing a 20-3 halftime lead.



Kulp said it best, there's really no point wasting too much energy rehashing the same terrible mistakes this team keeps making.

Michael Vick was phenomenal, passing for a career-high 416 yards, but the Eagles wasted that effort with poor execution, terrible turnovers, penalties and atrocious defense. Alex Henery missed two kicks under 40 yards that would have extended the lead and probably iced the game. No kicker in the NFL should ever miss any kick under 40 yards barring extenuating circumstances like hurricane conditions or 50 mph winds, let alone two. Henery was drafted precisely to avoid misses like that. He failed miserably.

Though not as bad as Ronnie Brown, inexplicably trying to throw a ball as he was swallowed by tacklers down near the goal line, instead fumbling it away. This team's red zone ineptitude has reached new heights.

And the defense, well what more can you say about it? Jason Babin has been great, but no one else on the team has at all. The linebackers are all special teamers. Nnamdi has been a huge disappointment. They can't stop the run. They can't hold leads, which is conceivably what this defense was built to do with the talented corners and good pass rush. And Juan Castillo is clearly ill-equipped to make the proper adjustments. The Eagles are a bad, bad football team right now. In fact, watching them is like watching a bizarro Penn State with the same results.

The offense is talented and explosive, but the defense sucks horribly, the inverse of the Nittany Lions. But they do have a few things in common: they are terrible in the red zone, they shoot themselves in the foot, they get outcoached every week and they are incredibly painful to watch. Rooting for Penn State and the Eagles is incredibly hard to do right now.

Honestly, the best part about football this weekend was hearing the guy near the microphone absolutely killing Ronnie Brown, yelling at him nonstop that he is terrible, asking what he was thinking, and finally my favorite, "I HOPE YOU GET CUT!"

Also, Jim Mora is horrible at calling a football game and sounds like he's never even watched football before. No wonder he was such a terrible head coach.

Oh yeah, and Shady. He's really good. You should probably find a way to hand the ball off to LeSean McCoy more than 9 times, especially when you have a 17-point lead in the second half, seeing as he is the best player on this team and all. God I hate my football teams right now.

At least the Phillies were there to lift our spirits in the nightcap … initially, anyway. The Phils jumped all over Chris Carpenter in the first two innings to spot Cliff Lee a 4-0 lead thanks to Tony La Russa being an asshole.



Carpenter just threw a complete game on Wednesday to get St. Louis into the playoffs. Then he decided after tossing him for nine innings, La Russa would start him on three days rest for the first time in his career. It did not go well, with Rollins continuing to stay hot, and Howard and Ibanez continuing to drive in runs.

Once it was 4-0, the game looked to be all but sewn up. After all, Cliff Lee was on the mound, and he's only been one of the best playoff pitchers ever, not to mention St. Louis had to dip into its very suspect bullpen extremely early. The game was right where you'd want it if you were a Phillies fan, set up perfectly to go up 2-0.

Only baseball doesn't work that way. Lee never quite looked comfortable all night. He had to work around a leadoff triple on the first pitch he threw to Rafael Furcal in the first, then work around a leadoff double in the 2nd. He just couldn't seem to get his command where he needed it, and it came back to bite him in the ass.

After getting ahead of Lance Berkman 0-2 in the 4th, Lee lost him and walked him to lead things off. Then he got lit up for three runs that could have been four had it not been for a great throw by Raul Ibanez and an incredible job of holding on to the ball by Carlos Ruiz as he got trucked by John Jay at the plate.



Meanwhile, the Phils couldn't do anything against the much-maligned St. Louis bullpen. It was incredibly frustrating after watching the Phils bash 14 hits and score 11 runs in game one, including five runs off the Cards' bullpen, then touch up Carpenter for 4 runs in the first two innings, only to come up empty the rest of the game against six relievers.

And Lee simply didn't get the job done. Let's face the facts, if you score four runs for Cliff Lee, you should win the game, simple as that. I don't want to let the offense off the hook, because you can't stop hitting in the 2nd inning and have everything be OK, but this loss was more on Cliff and Charlie Manuel than the bats.

Cliff just couldn't command his pitches. He was leaving lots of balls over the plate, often missing his spots with Ruiz having to reach across himself to catch the ball. And the Cardinals, namely the bottom of the order, hit him around. After he surrendered the tying run in the 6th and had given up 9 hits on 101 pitches, I was certain his night was done. It should have been done, because Lee just didn't have it. Forget about the high pitch count, Lee didn't deserve to go out for the 7th because he wasn't pitching well.

Yet there Charlie was, sending his ineffective starter who couldn't locate to save his life back out there, and Albert Pujols made him pay, driving in what turned out to be the game-winning run.



I don't make it a habit of questioning Charlie Manuel these days, but there is no way Lee should have been back out there. Again, not because of the 101 pitches, but because he was just not pitching well. Just because he's Cliff Lee doesn't mean he is immune to getting yanked a little early. Tony La Russa didn't hesitate to lift his ace. Charlie shouldn't have hesitated either. Now this series is all tied up, and the Phils will have to face a pitcher that has owned them in Jaime Garcia tomorrow.

It's frustrating because the Phillies had the game right where they wanted it, giving Lee an early four-run lead. But as we saw this weekend, the old cliche really is true: no lead is ever safe. Especially when you're the Eagles.

P.S. At least the Phillies don't have the huge whining assholes that are La Russa and Carpenter. Those two guys can get fucked, seriously. Tony calls out the home-plate umpire during an in-game interview, and Carpenter carries on like a child, which he's been known to do. La Russa just is just a prick who thinks he's god's gift to baseball, and I can't tell you how many times I've seen highlights of Carpenter screaming at his teammates for missing a play or making an error. It's gotta be hell to play defense behind him. Thank god the Phils don't act that way. Now go out and beat those assholes in their own stadium. That is all.

It's Friday, Time to Dance

The Phillies begin their 2011 playoff season tomorrow right here in Philadelphia, taking on former Phil Kyle Lohse (thanks for not choosing Jaime Garcia, Tony) at 5:07 in the p.m. So first and foremost, go here for your requisite "pre-postseason pump-up video pump-up video," as the great Zoo With Roy would say — volume up, face to screen.

As for the dance portion for this here site, I have to give all credit to one uncle jellyfish, aka @WebeCheefin, who reminded me of Delonte West's epic KFC freestyle rap:



Seeing as Delonte has gotten some pub recently, it is quite appropriate right now.



I now kind of what some KFC. Kind of.

Why Baseball Is So Great

There are throngs and throngs of people who complain about baseball being so damn boring. Hell, my man Kenny dedicated an entire post on how to survive baseball season, as if it's a torturous endeavor to sit through 162 games. There's no clock! There's too many games! The season's too long! The critics go on and on.

I've never really understood these arguments because to me, baseball always has been and always will be incredibly fun to follow. Night in and night out, you never know what you're going to see. One night, it may be a complete-game shutout, another a team dropping 18 runs on someone. One game may be shortened by rain to 5 and a half innings while another goes 17, 18, 19 innings. One minute a pitcher is hitting a home run, and the next minute a utility infielder is firing 90-mph heaters on the mound.





That's what makes baseball so great. You truly have a chance to witness something you've never seen before on a nightly basis. It's remarkable, and it's what keeps me on the edge of my seat from April through the dog days of summer all the way through October.

Last night was one of those rare instances in sports that you simply could not avoid getting caught up in if you truly are a fan. I don't care what your feelings are about baseball, that string of games was absolutely amazing.

Four teams — the Atlanta Braves, St. Louis Cardinals, Tampa Bay Rays and Boston Red Sox — were literally playing for their playoff lives on the final day of the season. 161 games couldn't differentiate these teams, thanks to two historic collapses by Atlanta and Boston coinciding with two historic stretches by St. Louis and Tampa Bay. Never can I remember the drama being so high, and it became even better theater than the most creative of screenwriters could have produced.

The Phillies, with nothing to play for playoff-wise, could set the single-season franchise record for wins by defeating the Braves, simultaneously allowing Charlie Manuel to become the all-time winningest manager all by his lonesome in Phillies history, while the Braves had to win just to force a one-game playoff as it became clear the Cardinals were going to destroy the Astros.



The Phillies didn't roll over for Atlanta in the least, playing their starters and even working in Cole Hamels for some action. But Atlanta got the game to where it wanted it, with a lead in the 9th and their stud rookie closer, who set the all-time record for most saves by a rookie with 46, Craig Kimbrel on the mound.

Kimbrel had been Atlanta's most reliable guy all year, but on this night, with everything on the line, he couldn't close it out. A leadoff single by Placido Polanco, followed by back-to-back one-out walks to Ben Francisco and Jimmy Rollins loaded the bases with just one out. And Chase Utley made the rookie pay, hitting a sac fly to tie it up and force extras.

Some four innings later, Hunter Pence was blooping an infield single that scored the game-winning run, making this the best regular-season Phillies team of all time managed by the best manager in franchise history.



At the same time, the Braves were officially eliminated from the playoffs as the Cards cruised past the Astros behind a complete-game shutout by Chris Carpenter.

Then I turned my full attention to the Red Sox-Orioles game. Boston took a 3-2 lead in the 5th when the rains started to roll in to Baltimore. A rain delay ensued, almost taunting Boston fans as much as the team itself had taunted them in September, making them suffer even longer to find out what would happen.

Like the Braves, the Red Sox got the game to where they wanted it, with their closer Jonathan Papelbon on the mound holding a lead in the 9th. As I turned up the volume, the Rick Sutcliffe said, "Look at Papelbon's eyes. He's not going to let this one slip away."



He could not have been more wrong. Back-to-back two-out doubles tied it up, and a single by Robert Andino left the Red Sox waiting with baited breath. Now they needed the Yankees, who had already blown a 7-0 lead and allowed the tying run in the most unlikeliest of ways, to somehow find a way to win in extra innings.



Literally minutes after Andino's walkoff hit to best the Red Sox, Evan Longoria stepped to the plate and did this:



Good night, Boston. Good night, Atlanta. Great night for baseball and sports fans everywhere.

It was literally the type of night that made you forget about everything else going on in your life. You were caught up in the moment. Caught up in the drama. Caught up in the sheer inconceivable moments from last night.

Two epic choke jobs. Extra innings. Three blown saves. A 9th-inning, game-tying home run by a guy batting under .200. Two walk-off hits, including a walk-off home run. And a franchise finishing off its greatest regular season ever. Unreal.

For a moment, forget about who is playing who and what is to come. Just take the time to reflect on the craziest 24 hours we have probably ever seen in any sport. It was enough to make you go giddy.



Last night, we witnessed something we have never seen before and may never see again. That's what baseball offers every fan every single night, and that's why baseball is so damn great, no matter what anyone else tries to tell you.

What to Watch: Wild Card Races, Bitches

For really the first time since the Phillies clinched home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, tonight is practically a must-watch game because it puts Phillies fans in a win-win situation. If the Braves win and the Cardinals lose, Atlanta backs into playoffs and the Phils avoid having to see Albert Pujols and company. If the Braves and Cardinals both win, they have to play a one-game playoff to get in. If the Cards win that, they won't have any chance to rest anyone, and their pitching rotation won't be set. If the Braves win, again, the Phils avoid the Cardinals.

And if the Phillies win, they set a new franchise record for wins in a season with 102, having tied the current record of 101 last night. Like I said, win-win.

As for the AL Wild Card race, it would be so, so sweet to see Boston collapse, especially since ESPN keeps shoving that stupid city down our throats, even during a god damn documentary about the Cubs and Steve Bartman.

Seriously, fuck Boston and fuck ESPN.

Also, read this.

Should the Phillies Really Want to Beat the Braves?

Let's face it, watching the Phillies run out makeshift lineup after makeshift lineup while losing a season-high 8 straight games was painful, and even a little bit concerning. Certainly you want the team well-rested heading into postseason play, and with homefield advantage all sewn up, it would be foolish to trot out the regular lineup every day for the remainder of the regular season. But it's also not exactly encouraging to go stumbling into the playoffs.

That's why winning the last two games — Sunday against the Mets and last night vs. Atlanta — to get to 100 regular-season victories for just the third time in franchise history was very encouraging. It's good to see that when this team puts its best players on the field, they look just fine.



But now the question remains … should the Phillies really want to beat the Braves in this series? As it stands right now, the Braves are hanging on by a thread with a one-game lead over the St. Louis Cardinals in the Wild Card, a lead that at one point seemed insurmountable. If the Phillies go out and sweep Atlanta or even just win one of the two remaining games, the Cardinals have a chance to take over that Wild Card spot, either winning the thing outright or pulling even with the Braves to force a one-game playoff.

That's where things get interesting. If Atlanta can stave off an epic collapse and secure the Wild Card, the Phillies will host either the Brewers or Diamondbacks in the best-of-five first round since teams from the same division cannot meet in the first round by MLB rule. If the season ended today, it would be Arizona coming to the City of Brotherly Love, but the Diamondbacks are only one game behind the Milwaukee in the standings so that has not been officially decided yet. But if the Cardinals overtake the Braves and win the Wild Card, then the Phillies will host Albert Pujols and the Cardinals in round 1.



If you were the Phillies, would you rather face the Brewers/Diamondbacks in a short series, or the St. Louis Cardinals? Now perhaps the Phillies don't really care one way or the other. After all, they have been the best team in baseball practically since day 1 this season, they have far and away the best starting rotation of the possible postseason teams, and the roster is full of guys with playoff experience. But if I was them, I'd still rather see Milwaukee or Arizona over St. Louis in the first round.

That is not to say the Brewers or Diamondbacks are not formidable foes who could pose major problems. They are. Milwaukee can bash the ball with MVP-caliber players like Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder, to go along with very good offensive players like Rickie Weeks and Corey Hart, plus a pitching staff that has plenty of talent. Zack Greinke and Yovani Gallardo have as good a stuff as anyone, Shaun Marcum is a good number 3, and we know Randy Wolf isn't afraid of the big moment. But still, Greinke has had issues with pressure in the past, Gallardo is the type of guy the Phils could hit, and Marcum is more of a contact guy. I just don't really see both Halladay and Lee losing back-to-back games even against this lineup, and I'll take Cole over Marcum any day of the week.

Arizona has shown it is a team not to be taken lightly, but when you really take a step back and look at the playoff picture, this would be the ideal team to face. Ian Kennedy has had a fantastic year, but he's really the only starter that scares you for Arizona, and truthfully, I'd take all three of the Phils' top three starters over him. And the lineup, outside of Justin Upton and his MVP-worthy year, doesn't exactly blow you away either. This team has all the makings of a "just happy to be here" type of team. Again, doesn't make them a pushover, but I'd feel pretty confident going against the Diamondbacks.

Conversely, the Cardinals scare the living crap out of me. In fact, had Adam Wainwright been healthy this year, St. Louis was the team I thought would challenge the Phillies the most in the National League this season. Even without him, it's the team I probably would want to face the least. Chris Carpenter is a former Cy Young winner who can shut down anyone at any moment. He hasn't had a great season overall, but after a disastrous start, he's looked a lot more like the Chris Carpenter we're used to seeing the second half of the year. Jaime Garcia is the type of left-hander that has given the Phils fits in the past, and Kyle Lohse is an ex-Phillie, meaning there's a good chance he'll find a way to screw them over. It just seems to go that way all the time.

Then there's this guy by the name of Albert Pujols, who is better than everyone else on the planet at hitting a baseball. And Albert is not alone. Lance Berkman has had a renaissance this year and is a veteran who knows how to hit, and Matt Holliday is back, another force at the plate. Throw in an impressive season from John Jay and Yadier Molina throwing darts from behind the plate, and this team is capable of some great things. I know I wouldn't want to see Albert Pujols in the first round.

Of course, there is the matter of the St. Louis bullpen, which has been laughably horrible this season. The Cardinals have gone through about 800 closers and still can't hold down leads in the 9th. That bodes very well if the Phils do have to face them, seeing as the Phillies have made it a habit over the past five seasons of absolutely crushing late-inning relief pitchers. So maybe playing the Cardinals wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Still, I'd rather avoid Pujols and company in round 1, and the only way to do that is to have the Braves hold on and win the Wild Card. So again, I ask: Should the Phillies really want to beat the Braves here the next two nights?

I know Charlie Manuel would say yes, and he's probably right. The Phillies shouldn't and I'm sure aren't scared of anyone. But as a fan, I'd still rather play the Diamondbacks or Brewers over the Cardinals.

Would You Eat a Mustard Packet for $10?

I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: I've been the black cloud hanging over the 2011 Phillies. So once again, I was in attendance as the Phillies suffered yet another loss, with Roy Halladay uncharacteristically walking four batters and taking the loss.



I mean, before I was even completely settled, Roy had given up a leadoff double to Rafael Furcal, let him advance to third on a passed ball, scored on a ground out and then gave up a home run to Lance Berkman. Not even an inning in the books and the Cards were up 2-0. And here I thought Doc would clinch home field throughout the playoffs with ease. After all, the guy was on the mound last season when the Phils clinched the NL East with a dominating performance against the Nationals and again on the mound when the Phillies clinched a playoff berth this year. But it was not to be, probably because I was there.

The only wins I've seen this year were when Vance Worley was pitching. That's a pretty remarkable feat given that Halladay and Cliff Lee have been in the Cy Young conversation, Cole Hamels has had an all-star season and Roy Oswalt is on the team. But that's just the way things have gone for me this year.

On the other side, the Cards hit Halladay hard all game, led by Lance Berkman, who was 2-for-2 with the aforementioned home run and another RBI hit, and former Phillie Kyle Lohse picked up the win with 7 and a third of one-run ball, with that run being unearned. I still can't believe the Phils let him walk and allowed Adam Eaton to remain in the rotation for a short while, but I guess it all worked out in the end.



Oh, another former Phillie, Nick Punto, also scored a run and was the one who drove in Furcal with an RBI ground out.



For once, I'd love to see a former Philadelphia athlete not do well against the team he used to play for. It always seems like those guys kill the Phillies (or Eagles or Flyers or Sixers) every time they play them.

Even with the loss, the Phils clinched home field throughout the postseason because the Brewers lost, making the remaining games in the regular season completely meaningless in the standings. Thus the boredom starts to set in, as it did last night, seeing as clinching home field was all but inevitable at some point.

So with the Phillies losing and the atmosphere really not very electric until the 9th-inning comeback that came up a run short, silver fox, Toonces and I had to find a way to entertain ourselves.

Since it was dollar dog night, we had purchased a few hot dogs and grabbed several packets of condiments. That led to me offering silver fox or Toonces, whoever accepted first, $10 to eat a packet of mustard — plastic packet and all. Toonces gladly accepted, then proceeded to struggle for nearly three full innings to get the thing down. A few times, he looked as though he was going to puke. But I'll be damned if he didn't actually eat an entire mustard packet including the plastic.



I then jumped at the opportunity to get $3 of the $10 I paid Toonces back by eating three peanuts shell and all, which is a no-brainer. Hell, my cousin always eats peanuts shells and all because he is weird as shit. Eventually, that led to me offering silver fox the opportunity to eat an entire paper Coke cup for $3, but he wisely declined.

Did I mention that we're all 27 and 28 years old? We are. Yet that's what we still subject ourselves to, because we are idiots. And that Phillies game was boring as hell until the 9th inning.

Anyway, go read about what pitcher I'd choose with my life on the line over at Ed the Sports Fan as well as who the rest of the crew would choose.

But the even bigger question than who you would choose is if you'd eat an entire mustard packet, plastic and all, for $10.

Why Chris Wheeler Annoys Phillies Fans

Basically from the moment I was brought into this world, I was a Phillies fan, watching, listening and taking in every pitch I could. And since my birth some 27-plus years ago, the majority of fellow Phillies fans I've come across all have one thing above all else in common: their dislike of Chris Wheeler.



To be perfectly honest with you, I've never really been a part of that contingent. Don't get me wrong, the guy certainly can be grating, but I've never really had a problem with Wheels. Maybe it's because he's a Penn State grad, I don't know. To me, he's far and away the best guy on the TV broadcast these days, since we've gone nearly a decade and a half without Whitey and now sadly with no Harry.

Tom McCarthy is the one who draws my ire the most, mainly because he's absolutely terrible at his job and feigns what feels like forced excitement over just about everything. And as much as I like Sarge as a person, he adds absolutely nothing of substance to a broadcast. I often find myself wondering what the hell the Phillies brass was thinking putting that guy on TV.


OK, that was pretty awesome

I've never really felt that way about Chris Wheeler. The man certainly knows his baseball. He's been around the game forever and you can truly sense his love for baseball. However, I completely understand why he annoys so many people. His insistence on explaining the no-doubles defense every single time a team employs it. His often smug, know-it-all attitude. His irrational "old man" hate of Brandon Phillips. His embarrassingly horrible rug. Hell, even the late, great Harry Kalas notoriously didn't get along with Wheels. The man certainly can wear on you, and the entire Philadelphia Phillies fan base can and will attest to that.

Last night he went into one of those annoying, beat-you-over-the-head-with-it type of rants, and it really began to annoy the hell out of me. If you watched the Phils' 10-2 victory last night in St. Louis, you should know exactly what part of the game I'm talking about.

In the top of the 7th inning, the Phillies trailed 1-0 with Roy Halladay throwing yet another excellent game (though he got himself in trouble with the run he gave up by getting the ball up) but the bats completely silent. How silent? To that point, the Phils only had two hits in the game off Kyle McLellan, and only had one runner even get as far as second base.

Placido Polanco, who really, really is struggling in the five hole ever since his grand slam a couple weeks ago, grounded out. Then Raul Ibanez walked, followed by a fly out to center by Domonic Brown. Here's where I began to get extremely annoyed with Wheels and Tom McCarthy.

When Brown flied out, Charlie Manuel got Michael Stutes up in the bullpen, just as he should have. Carlos Ruiz was up with 2 outs, with the pitcher spot on deck. If Manuel didn't get anyone up and have a pitcher ready, McClellan would have no reason at all to pitch to Ruiz, leaving it up to the very light-hitting Roy Halladay to get a two-out hit to tie it. You can't do that. The Phillies, as I said, had only had one player all game reach second base and had only two hits on the night. If Ruiz got on, the Phils absolutely had to pinch-hit for Halladay. This was a no-brainer. It was the 7th inning, the Phils were down a run, and the offense had been dormant all night. They couldn't let an RBI opportunity slip through their fingers. They just couldn't. 100 times out of 100, no matter how well your pitcher is doing, you must have someone ready so you can pinch-hit if the pitcher spot comes up.

Despite that all, Wheeler made a huge, huge stink about it, saying this is a really tough decision, saying he didn't think Charlie would pinch-hit for Halladay, almost exacerbated that Manuel would dare take out Roy Halladay after only going 6 innigns and surrendering just 1 run. He did qualify that by saying "sometimes managers will do this on the road trailing in the 7th." No, not sometimes. All the time. 100 percent of the time. Unless the pitcher is Carlos Zambrano or CC Sabathia or maybe even Cliff Lee, a guy who can actually handle the bat. Roy Halladay is not one of those guys. He's a terrible hitter.

Yet McCarthy and especially Wheels kept going on about, making a big deal about it as if there was a real decision to be made, almost questioning Charlie's decision. And it continued when Ruiz ripped a single up the middle to put runners on second and first with 2 outs, and Manuel rightfully sent out Ross Gload in Halladay's place. I honestly couldn't believe they were beating this dead horse into the ground, especially when Charlie made the absolutely correct, no-brainer decision. That is exactly why people in this city despise Chris Wheeler. He was so smug that even when he was wrong and probably knew he was wrong, he kept pushing his point home. Just shut the fuck up about it already!

Oh, by the way, Gload came through big time, smoking a single to left to score Raul Ibanez and tie the game — though we know that was even close. For some bizarre reason, Ruiz kept running from second toward third before checking where the cutoff was, and he got tagged out so quickly that I wasn't quite sure he had given Ibanez enough time to score. Luckily he did, but it was an awful base-running play by Chooch. Not only did he nearly cost the Phils the tying run and cost Gload an RBI, but he ended the inning, not giving Rollins a chance to put the Phils ahead. Jimmy would have had another late-inning RBI chance with Ruiz on second and most like Michael Martinez pinch-running for Gload on first.

Regardless, the Phils tied the game with Manuel doing exactly what every manager on the planet would do, because it's the right thing to do. Though it didn't help to quiet Wheels and McCarthy when Michael Stutes came in and had one of his ugliest outings since being called up. Stutes struggled with his command, missing high with just about everything, and gave the lead right back. Though he limited the damage, and we all saw what happened in the 8th.

Shane Victorino got things going with a one-out single, and then the wheels came completely off for the Cardinals and Tony La Russa. La Russa went to veteran lefty Trevor Miller to start the 8th with the top of the order up for the Phils. Miller got Rollins to fly out, then surrendered the single to Victorino and walked Chase Utley. Then Tony La Russa did something only Tony La Russa would do, because Tony La Russa is an asshole.



Presumably, La Russa brought in the left-handed Miller mainly to face Utley and Ryan Howard. Or so it seemed. Because after Miller walked Utley, La Russa yanked him … for a hard-throwing righthander named Jason Motte. This time Wheels and McCarthy were rightly baffled, as was everyone else watching the game. And the move wound up backfiring big time, to say the least.

Motte hit Howard with a pitch to load the bases, then hit Polanco with a pitch to force in the tying run. But it didn't just force in the tying run, it hit Polanco right on the hand, forcing him to leave the game. Not good. Hopefully he'll be OK.

That was it for Motte, but not for the Phils. The St. Louis relievers just completely imploded, undoing all the brilliant work starter Kyle McLellan had done in keeping the Phils' offense down. After Ibanez struck out for out No. 2 when La Russa brought in his other lefty (seriously, he had another lefty but put in a righty to face Howard), Charlie pinch-hit for Dom Brown with Ben Francisco. This is where we thought the inning would end, and by we I mean myself and Adam EatShit.

Right when Francisco was sent in, I received this text from Adam:

Let dom hit. This is fruitless

I agreed. Then all Francisco did was single to left, plating Utley to give the Phils the lead. From there, the carousel was on. Miguel Batista came in to relieve the lefty, and he walked Curbball to bring in Howard. Michael Martinez came in to hit for Stutes and Batista walked him as well, making it 5-2. Then Jimmy singled to plate Francisco and Ruiz. Out went Batista, in came the hard-throwing youngster Cleto … who proceeded to walk to Victorino. Then Utley followed with a single to plate Martinez and Jimmy, and Howard singled to plate Victorino before it was all said and done.

The Phils plated 9 in the 8th, as the genius Tony La Russa's genius move backfired like a motherfucker. Honestly, who the hell lifts a left-handed specialist in favor of a hard-throwing righty to face Ryan Howard? An idiot, that's who. You got what you deserved La Russa.

That's the thing Chris Wheeler should have been harping on last night. And while he did mention it, he seemed to be much more conflicted on Charlie's wise decision in the 7th. That's a prime example of why Chris Wheeler annoys Phillies fans.

Though he's not nearly as annoying as Tony La Russa.

Flying Like a Hawkins

As you know, the Phillies lost thanks to a blown save by Ryan Madson that was aided by the umpires (Michael Bourn was most definitely out of the base path) and Ryan Howard being a complete idiot. Can anyone explain to me why Howard didn't just the flip the ball to Chase at first instead of trying to tag a guy who he knows — you know, seeing as Bourn was his teammate and all — is incredibly fast and elusive?

That was a tough one to swallow, blowing a lead in the 8th, losing a game in which Joe Blanton miraculously only surrendered one run, and letting Brett Myers stick it to the Phillies, which he did.


Thanks for blowing that save "Mad Dog." I'm so happy I could lick you!

Myers was pretty awesome in his return to Citizens Bank Park, going 7 innings and surrendering just two runs while striking nine of his former teammates to pick up the win thanks to his old buddy Ryan Madson. His ERA is now down to 3.08 on the season. Who knew Brett would finally find the consistency we were all looking for a year after battling injury and two years after being sent down to the minors? Not me.

Anyway, all that shit sucked donkey balls. There's absolutely no way this team, in a heated playoff race, should lose a game to the Astros when Joe Blanton gives you seven innings of one-run ball. But they did.

Luckily, my emotions were somewhat calmed when I saw some guy named Lavelle Hawkins — who apparently played at Cal with DeSean — do this in the Cardinals-Titans preseason game last night.



Hersey Hawkins would be so proud.



The Eagles offensive line sucks.

Dear Charlie, What the Hell?

Seriously, what the fucking hell? Why would you not pinch-hit for Joe Blanton? Why? Game tied 1-1 in the 7th, bases loaded two out, and your pitcher spot comes up -- that pitcher being Joe Blanton who was 0-for-2 with two strikeouts on the night.

Your team has enough problems scoring runs, you can't give away a bases-loaded opportunity. But you did. You just gave it away. Completely. Even with a righthanded bat left on the bench in Wilson Valdez. And predictably, Blanton struck out on three pitches, never coming close to even touching one, leaving three runners on base.

After that, everyone in Philadelphia knew he was going to give up a home run to Matt Holliday. And he did. Now the Phils are losing 2-1 in the 8th. It was the most inexplicable moves in the history of baseball. Honestly, what the fuck?

I don't even care if the Phils come back and win this game. That was dumb. Beyond dumb. Straight-up retard. Charlie, I know you've won a World Series and a hell of a lot of games and all, but you just went full retard.

Sold Their Souls to the Devils

The Flyers easily disposed of the Devils in the opening round, but they must have sold their souls to the Dark Prince in order to do so. And those souls came in the form of Simon Gagne, Jeff Carter and Ian Laperriere.



In the huge game 4 victory that I was at, things couldn't have been going any better … until word broke that Simon Gagne and Jeff Carter suffered broken bones, Gagne's coming on a shot block and Carter's on a goal he scored by taking a Chris Pronger point blast off his leg. That was a crushing blow, shelving Carter indefinitely and Gagne for the foreseeable future (though there's word he could be back for game 5, if there is one). Two forwards from the top line, gone. Two penalty killers and power play contributors, gone. The team's best goal-scorer and consistently best player throughout the season, gone. Tough price to pay for a 3-1 series lead.

Then things got even worse. Yes, the Flyers trounced the Devils in game 5 to advance to the Eastern Conference semifinals, but it couldn't just be that simple. No, because Lucifer took another victim, this time Ian Laperriere, who once again sacrificed his body to block a shot, taking it right off his face for the second time this season. Only this time, it put him on the shelf for good, as he suffered a brain contusion and mild concussion. The Flyers' chances to advance any further were already greatly diminished without Gagne and Carter, and they got even worse without Laperriere, who played brilliantly against the Devils, forechecking with reckless abandon, blocking damn near every shot he was near, bearing down on the PK and playing generally great, physical defense. Missing a full line's worth of players, I just didn't see the Flyers standing much of a chance, whether it was against Boston or Washington.

Now that's all coming true. The Flyers played tough and close in games 1 and 2, but they were undermanned, outplayed and got worn down, dropping both. And last night, they gave everything they had, outshooting Boston 12-8 in the first period and continuing to outshoot them every period thereafter, but they couldn't solve the riddle of Tuukka Rask. At least, not after the first three minutes, when Claude Giroux and Arron Asham found themselves in a 2-on-1 as Claude laid a perfect pass to Asham, who put the Flyers ahead 1-0.



But then less than two minutes later, Blake Wheeler made an absurd deflection to tie it, and just 1:34 after that, the Bruins went ahead as Satan continued to seek his payment, as in Miroslav. Mike Richards made a great open-ice hit on David Krejci, knocking him right out of the game, but it led to a breakout the other way for Boston, which led to a breakaway from Satan. Great hit, but bad hockey play by the captain. Hard to fault him, and the guy has played tremendous hockey this postseason, but that was killer. Satan's goal turned out to be the eventual game-winner, as Satan continued his relentless assault on the Flyers.

The guy played just 38 games this year, scoring a grand total of 14 points — 9 goals and 5 assists. Yet here we are through three games, and Satan has at least one point in each of them. He scored a goal and had an assist in game one, assisted on the game-winner in game 2 and scored the game-winning goal last night. He really is Satan reincarnated against the Flyers. It's unreal. Sabres, Penguins, Bruins, doesn't matter. The guy freakin kills the Flyers. I hate him. I hate him so very much.

Satan's goal was definitely a heart-breaker, but it was Tuukka Rask who really saved the day for Boston. The Flyers outshot the Bruins in every period, finishing with a 35-19 shot advantage for the game. Yet Rask stopped all but one of them. In the first, the Flyers came out with more energy than Boston, outplayed the Bruins, but found themselves trailing largely because of Rask. He faced 15 more shots in the 2nd, and stopped them all. And the Flyers closed with an 8-2 shot advantage in the third period, but still couldn't slip one by. This kid has been unbelievable, outplaying every single goaltender this postseason.



I mean, what more can you say about the guy? He's been awesome. Not that Boucher has been bad, because he hasn't. But Rask has outplayed him, just as the Bruins have mostly outplayed the Flyers thus far, even if just slightly. Though that wasn't the case last night, it was just simply that Rask stole the show. Now the Flyers are running on life support, down 3-0, with little hope of even thinking about Simon Gagne coming back for a game 5. I don't anticipate them rolling over and dying the way the Devils did in their elimination game, but I just don't think these guys have enough left in the tank. Not when you're asking just about everyone to play more minutes than they're accustomed to, not when you're relying on getting some quality shifts from guys who barely even sniffed the NHL before this series. Sometimes, you just run out luck, run out bodies and run out of time. That's what's happening here for the Flyers.

The end of a tumultuous season is near. At this point, it looks an awful lot more like a matter of when, not if. And when you look back, it's incredibly tough to gauge where this team is at. It all began with a loud statement in the offseason, trading Luca Sbisa, Joffrey Lupul and two first-round picks for Chris Pronger, suggesting the Flyers were going all in to try to take the next step following a disappointing end to last year. But that was followed by the baffling gamble in goal, taking a HUGE risk on the troubled Ray Emery, sort of making the Pronger move puzzling. Why bring in an aging superstar defenseman to take the next step only to sign a giant question mark in goal? It was beyond baffling in my opinion. Say what you will about Martin Biron, but at least you knew what you were going to get with Marty in net. A bit of inconsistency, but a goaltender who would make all the stops you expect, plus the potential to get on a hot streak. Not to mention the fact he played pretty well in the postseason for this team.

The move backfired, no matter how you look at it. No, Emery didn't implode in net or cause problems, but he did get injured. Not something you can foresee, but not all that surprising given that the guy hasn't been in the NHL in while. Yes, he was playing overseas, but still. The move didn't work out. The Flyers started slow, canned their coach and hoped it would provide the type of spark that worked for Pittsburgh the year before. At first, it did not. At all. The Flyers continued to skid, Brian Boucher got hurt, and the team was without a goaltender.

But then came a rejuvenation of sorts. Peter Laviolette got his players to buy in to his system, Michael Leighton came out of nowhere to play out of his mind (even if he very often had no idea where the puck was), and the Flyers began to get on a roll. Then the Olympic break came and interrupted their flow. The Flyers came back after that break and played well at first, then sputtered down the stretch. They played so poorly that they almost missed the playoffs completely. It took a shootout victory of all things on the final day of the regular season just to get in. And there were plenty of folks who thought the team should have just folded, being better off not making the playoffs at all. Then all they did was go out and whoop the second-seeded Devils in 5 games, continuing the one constant of this absurdly up-and-down season for the Flyers: beating the Devils. For once, Philadelphia owned New Jersey and Martin Brodeur, defeating the Devils 5 out of 6 times in the regular season and then 4 out of 5 times in the playoffs. Brian Boucher regained the form he showed as a rookie 10 years ago, playing strong in the final few games of the regular season in place of Leighton (after initially struggling mightily), and then completely dominating the Devils.

But the Flyers entered this series an unhealthy team running on fumes. And now here we stand, with the team facing elimination and a canyon-sized 3-0 hole. So really, what did we find out about this team, about these players? Can these guys really be the foundation of a team that can compete with the upper-echelon of the NHL — the Pens, Caps, Red Wings, Canucks, Blackhawks, Sharks, teams of that caliber? Or are they the underachievers we've seen the past two regular seasons, and definitely last year in the playoffs? I don't even think I can begin to answer those questions.

I do think they have the right man for the job now on the bench. I love everything about Peter Laviolette. But are all the players in place, or at least a really strong foundation? I hope so, but I don't know. Can Scott Hartnell figure out how to score and contribute again, or is he a lost cause? I'd say trade him no questions asked, but really, after the horrendous season he just had, what sort of trade value can he even command? Will Braydon Coburn ever return to the promising young defenseman who looked like a steal, or has he regressed to the point of no return? Where will this team find a goaltender? Because as well as Boucher played this postseason, and as well as Leighton played before his injury, those guys aren't the answer. Do they have enough depth on the blue line beyond Pronger/Carle, Timomen/Coburn? I don't know the answers to these things.

What we do know is Pronger and Mike Richards aren't going anywhere, nor should they. Jeff Carter is an attractive trade piece, but he was also the team's most consistent offensive player and leading goal-scorer. It'd be tough to part with him. Danny Briere's contract is pretty much untradeable. And the promise of Claude Giroux makes him a guy that must stick around. I think the future is bright for Giroux and James van Riemsdyk in Philadelphia, but admittedly, the two didn't produce enough during the regular season. They were expected to help pick up the slack from the losses of Mike Knuble and Joffrey Lupul, but they didn't. Claude was great in the postseason; now it's time for him and JVR to take the next step and become reliable scorers for a full 82 games. You know you can rely on Kimmo, and the fourth line of Ian Laperriere, Blair Betts and Darroll Powe was excellent all year, even they didn't all play as a unit the entire season. Dan Carcillo still did some dumb things, but he has matured a good deal and become a fan favorite. Those are all good things, but I don't know that any of it makes it clear just what the Flyers have going forward. Only time will tell I guess, but you can bet Paul Holmgren will have his hands full.

On a brighter note, the Phils beat the Cardinals again, as Kyle Kendrick miraculously morphed into a pitcher that doesn't suck, putting forth his best start of the season, given his struggles and the opponent. Kendrick went 7 innings of shutout ball, scattering 6 hits while striking out three and walking just 2, dramatically dropping his ERA to 5.87 on the season. Yes, dropping his ERA to 5.87.



Placido Polanco and Shane Victorino homered for the Phils in the 4-0 win, and Greg Dobbs doubled in Wilson Valdez. Also, Colby Rasmus stupidly tried to steal third on Curbball Brian Schneider, who promptly made him pay with a strike to Placido Polanco (even if he may have been safe — incredibly close play). You don't run on Chooch Allentown's finest, young fella. You know, unless Brad Lidge is on the mound.

The Phils can clinch the series with a victory today, and I have to say I like their chances. The Phils send out super-star stud ace Roy Halladay and his tidy 5-1 record and 1.47 ERA to face former Phillie Kyle Lohse and his Kyle Kendrick-esque 5.28 ERA. Of course, that probably means Lohse will pitch awesome and shut down the Phillies offense, but who the hell cares? We got Roy on the mound. Three out of four from the previously red-hot Cardinals would look mighty nice.