Last night, after Ryan Howard almost singlehandedly gave the Phillies a 6-3 lead in the 7th, it looked as though that magic number was about to get down to four. The big man somehow flicked a ball off the end of his bat all the way to the leftfield scoreboard to plate Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley in the 3rd, then crushed an opposite field two-run homer in the 7th for a little insurance.
But then a homer by some guy named Gaby Sanchez served up by Cole Hamels in the 7th and a single by Cody Ross to plate Jorge Cantu at the hands of Ryan Madson in 8th, and suddenly this was a one-run game in the 9th. At this point last season, there was no doubt in my mind that the Phillies, holding a 6-5 lead with three outs to go, would win — and for good reason. They did not lose when leading after 8 once all season.
Well, as we have been painfully reminded again and again and again this year, we're not in 2008 anymore. When I saw Brad Lidge warming up in the bullpen, my stomach turned. He is the complete opposite pitcher he was last season, literally. Which is to say he sucks on a level not even Mitch Williams ever approached, and that's saying something.
When he gave up a leadoff double to this year's Greg Dobbs, Ross Gload, Adam EatShit turned and asked me, "Is this game over?" I replied, "Not with this next batter, but in a few batters. No way they win this game."
Mr. EatShit said, "Yeah, they are gonna lose. But wouldn't it be sick if he pitched out of it and that was finally the point he turned it around?" Yes, yes it would be. But we both knew better. Brad Lidge simply doesn't have it in him.
A fly ball to right by Chris Coghlan moved Gload, the tying run, to third. After a questionable called third strike to John Baker, there was the ever-so-small glimmer of hope that, hey, maybe he will get out of it. But of course he didn't. He walked Hanley Ramirez. Jorge Cantu singled to center to tie the game. And one pitch later, Brett Carroll, BRETT CARROLL, laced a hanging slider to left center to end the game.
As meech so eloquently put it: "Brad Lidge and his stupid face fall to 0-8 on the season with 11th blown saves. Go away, Brad Lidge."
I couldn't agree more. Brad Lidge is the worst pitcher in all of baseball right now. His ERA is 7.48. He's 0-8, 11 blown saves. Opponents are batting .305 against him. Brad Lidge should not take the mound again for the Phillies in 2009. At all. Not in the regular season. Not in the postseason. Not in a save situation. Not in mop-up duty. Not at all.
And as pissed off and frustrated as I am with Lidge, I think Enrico summed it up best: "At what point do you stop being so damn mad at Brad and start looking at Charlie for still frigging walking the guy out there? With eleven games left in the season, I don't think anyone has faith the Phillies can close an important game down."
Sorry, Charlie, but you've fucked up too. Brad Lidge hasn't been getting it done all season. The right time to remove him as closer has come and gone. Now what the hell do the Phillies do? Brett Myers, the only other player on the roster with successful closer experience, is hurting. Ryan Madson has been just as much of a mess as Lidge in the closer spot. J.C. Romero and Chan Ho Park are ailing. What the hell?
Drastic times call for drastic measures. Perhaps it's time to see what one of the two guys dueling for that fourth spot in the playoff rotation can do in the role, though 11 games remaining and Pedro Martinez's sore neck sure don't give the Phils much time. But maybe J.A. Happ or Pedro can do what Brad Lidge and Ryan Madson can't. If not, looks like it's going to have to be closer by committee, taking it out for out.
One thing's for damn sure, Brad Lidge should not be allowed anywhere near that pitching mound. Hell, he probably shouldn't even be allowed in the stadium. We aren't in 2008 anymore.
Anyone ever see the movie "Vice Versa" besides me?
For those of you who haven't seen it, basically, it's a movie from 1988 where the guy from Beverly Hills cop (Judge Reinhold) and the kid from The Wonder Years (Fred Savage) play a father and son who wind up switching bodies when the two touch a mysterious Thai skull at the same time. That's the '80s for you.
Well, on my way to work this morning, that movie popped in my head for whatever reason and gave me an idea. See, outside of Eric Bruntlett and for a stretch there Jamie Moyer, Brad Lidge and Cole Hamels have been by far the worst players on the Philadelphia Phillies. The two men who were incredibly integral to last season's success have both done a complete 180, sucking more balls than John Amaechi. Hamels has a robust 6.75 ERA in the month of August, and his numbers on the season are pitiful: 7-8, 4.78 ERA, 1.35 WHIP, 157 hits and 22 homers surrendered in 139.1 innings.
He has the fifth highest ERA in the NL, and opposing hitters are batting .285 against him. He blows.
And Hamels' numbers look good compared to Lidge's: 0-6, 7.33 ERA, 56 hits and 11 home runs surrendered in 46.2 innings, 1.80 WHIP, .299 batting average against and 9 blown saves in 34 chances. That's a 74 percent success rate in save situations … and that's rounding up!
Last night, after the Phillies battled back from a one-run deficit in the ninth to take a one-run lead, Brad Lidge not only blew the save, not only lost the game, but the guy failed to get a single PITTSBURGH PIRATE out. For the record, the Pirates are 52-71 this season and traded away every half-decent player they had from the start of the season. And Brad Lidge blew a save against those guys … without even getting a single out.
So what does this have to do with the movie Vice Versa? I'm glad you asked. Now, I don't want to spoil the movie for you, but Marshall Seymour and Charlie Seymour learn an awful lot about themselves and each other after switching bodies. In the end, they're both better off for it.
Well, I propose we try our own little social experiment, taking a page out Jeffrey Lurie's book. Let's find this magical skull and get Lidge and Hamels to touch it, effectively switching bodies. Brad can see what it's like being Cole, the pussy pretty boy who carries his puppy in a backpack.
Something tells me Lidge will never be more happy that he was born Brad Lidge, the badass closer with the shitty intro music, than that pussy-ass Cole Hamels. He'll realize what he has as the closer, bear down and get his shit together, because he doesn't want to show any weakness like Cole. He'll have to prove his manhood all over again. Maybe that will do the trick.
Meanwhile, Cole will be thrust into the high pressure cooker that is the closer role. He'll realize how good of a gig he has a starter, where one mistake won't necessarily kill you because the team has plenty of chances left to pick you up. Maybe he'll realize it would be a good idea to shut down the opposition early so there's not so much pressure on the bullpen late. And maybe he'll regain his form, because the closer role is a very pressure-packed one and we all saw just how well Colbert pitched last October when the pressure was never greater. Maybe that would do the trick. And maybe he'll toughen up a little bit and not bitch about chiropractors and resting his arm and whatever else bothers him.
If not, fuck it, just send Lidge out back and shoot him and replace Cole with Jamie. Anything is better than those two right now.
I don't care how loyal Charlie is. I don't care how piss-poor the other options are. The Phillies cannot go into the postseason with Brad Lidge as the closer and Cole Hamels as the No. 2 starter pitching like this. They just can't. Move Cole to the fourth spot. Put anyone — Madson, Chan Ho, Myers — in the closer spot. Or find that skull to set these two straight. Otherwise, nice knowing you.
On Friday night, I decided to take it easy, spend the night at home eating pizza and drinking some soda, and watch the Phils in an attempt to both save some money and give my liver a little rest. It was a perfect plan for a relaxing evening, especially with Jamie Moyer pitching a truly brilliant game, highlighted by his 7th inning performance.
After giving up a leadoff double to Rafael Furcal, Moyer got Orlando Hudson and Casey Blake to ground out to third, leaving Furcal stranded at 2nd with 2 outs. Then, he should have been out of the inning when he forced James Loney to pop one up to right, but Eric Bruntlett froze like a deer in headlights, allowing the ball to drop and Furcal to score. I know it sounds odd to be incredibly impressed by Moyer in an inning where he gave up a run, but it was really awesome. Forcing two straight groundouts to third after giving up a leadoff double was awesome, and he did his job. It's not his fault Eric Bruntlett continues to suck at baseball.
The truly sad part about that horrible play by Bruntlett is that it did end up costing the Phils. Although I don't entirely blame the bearded one. Jamie Moyer pitched brilliantly, and the Phils got the game to their closer with a lead in the ninth.
Things started out all well and good for Lidge. He struck out Furcal to start the inning and got Hudson to ground out weakly right back to him. That's when the wheels came off. Lidge jumped out in front of Casey Blake 1-2, but couldn't put him away, as Blaked singled to extend the game. Then, after getting ahead of Loney 1-2, he fucking walked him. And then, he jumped out ahead of Russell Martin 1-2, this time actually forcing a grounder, but somehow, the usually sure-handed Pedro Feliz booted the ball. Safe all-around.
The next batter, Andre Ethier, ended the game with a walkoff double. Gay.
Yes, the error was huge. Lidge could have been out of the inning. Should have been out of the inning. But he still let two guys get away from him before that when he was ahead 1-2 in the count. And he still had a chance to get the save if he could have gotten Ethier out. But he didn't get the job done. Again. For the millionth time this season.
Then he did it again on Saturday, giving up a home run to Furcal to blow the save, with the Phils losing in extra innings. Thank God I didn't have to see that one, as I was at the Roots Picnic/passing out at the time.
Mercifully, the Phils built a 5-run lead last night, meaning no Lidge sighting, and the Phils won easily 7-2 as Ryan Madson threw flames to close out the Dodgers. The magnificent Bastardo picked up his 2nd win in as many starts, and Chan Ho held down the fort, giving the Phils a 2-2 series split with the Dodgers.
It should have been a four-game sweep. The Phils should be on a 10-game winning streak. And the Mets should be buried. But Brad Lidge sucks, so instead of being a solid 8 or 9 games up on the Muts, the Phils are only 3 games up.
Look at the team. It's due to Brad Lidge. The numbers don't lie: 0 wins, 3 losses, 7.27 ERA, 6 blown saves in 19 chances, 33 hits, 23 runs, 21 earned runs, 28 strikeouts, 14 walks, 7 home runs in 26 innings, and a 1.81 whip. Terrible doesn't even begin to describe his performance.
How much longer can the Phils let Lidge hurt them? Yes, they are in first place. Yes, they are playing well over all. But right now, so far this season, Brad Lidge sucks. That won't get in done come October.
Oh, and Jimmy Rollins, I hope you get off your high horse and learn to embrace hitting down in the order. Because you suck as a leadoff hitter, even if that .222 average and .261 on-base percentage somehow says leadoff hitter to you. For the second time this year, you get dropped in the order and actually get a couple hits. Face the facts, Jimmy. You aren't a leadoff hitter.
That is all. Quite a bit of complaining about a team with the second-best record in baseball, huh? Just imagine if these guys weren't in first place.
So Sonny has a great test for determining whether or not a girl is a selfish broad, but can he help me out with how to handle a once-perfect closer who helped deliver the lone world championship I've be able to witness in my life but all the sudden can't get anyone out ever? Didn't think so. Thanks for nothing, Sonny.
In case you were wondering, yes, I did head up to the new Yankee Stadium on Saturday with silver fox, Paul "lil Jon" Runyan and another friend of ours, along with lil Jon's sister and brother-in-law-to-be for what was supposed to be a glorious time. After all, things got off on the right foot when I headed back to Bucks County Friday night to meet up with everyone and Brett Myers shut down the Yanks to give the Phils the win in the season opener. And then, when silver fox and I entered the bar to meet up with lil Jon, literally minutes later I watched LeBron do this:
Great start. And things went pretty smoothly as we drove out to New Brunswick, caught the train to NYC and made the trip to Yankee Stadium. And the subway ride from Penn Station to the stadium was pretty epic.
On our way up there, our quartet stopped to get two of those small Heineken kegs with the intention of drinking them on the train. Well, time was tight, so we decided to wait until we got into NYC and were headed on the subway. One problem: we had no ice or cups. No worries. In Penn Station, we purchased four large cups from Planet Smoothie filled with ice, found the train and broke out the keg. Here we were, four Phillies fans decked out in Phillies gear tapping a mini keg on the subway. Everyone loved it.
Adding to the fun atmosphere was a group of four young black men who entered the subway car we were on with a boom box in toe. Then, these four guys cleared a little space, turned on the music and put forth a tremendous break dancing show right on the train. It was pretty fucking awesome, especially while watching it with a Heineken in hand. After their performance, the leader of the group told everyone they were accepting dollar bills and ... Heinekens. Fantastic.
Things only seemed to get better as we got off at Yankee Stadium. With one mini keg done, we went to find the tailgating section. As we looked around, we broke out the second keg in plain view of everyone, with Yanks fans marveling at our bravado. Apparently, tailgating before Yankees games isn't a big thing. We eventually walked around, and the only people we found tailgating were fellow Phillies fans in a parking garage. Pretty weak display from the Yanks fans if you ask me.
Well, we finally made it inside and prepared for the game. I was all sorts of excited to see how the new stadium stacked up against the old one. Really, the field itself looks exactly the same, which is kind of cool, and the stadium is nice and all, but it's nothing special. Just another new ballpark.
Don't get me wrong, it's nice. But it didn't blow me away. What did, however, was the amount of Phillies fans there. There were a ton, just like on Friday, and that made the atmosphere even better. And things just kept coming up us, as Raul Ibanez hit another bomb to give the Phils the lead, and J.A. Happ went out dealing, just reinforcing the fact he should have been starting all along.
During the game, I struck up quite a back and forth with a very loud Yankees fan two rows behind me. He and I were going at each other, but in a friendly way, and I have to say, he was the absolute coolest opposing fan I've ever dealt with. He earned my respect very quickly, especially when he started yelling, "FUCK YOU, PETTITTE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR US SINCE 2001?" The guy was hilarious.
Things were a little tame when the Yanks tied it up, but when John Mayberry came up with two on in the 5th, I told silver fox he was going to hit a bomb. When he did, I went nuts, freaked out, yelled at the Yanks fan about how that was his first hit, split my lip celebrating somehow and just was having a ball. A 4-1 lead with the way Happ was pitching was a great thing. The day was going perfectly along.
When Jeter tied it up at 1-1, I still wasn't worried. Like I said, Happ was dealing, the weather was beautiful, and I was talking some trash to the Yanks fans around us.
Then, with just 70-some pitches thrown, Charlie inexcusably lifted Happ after 6. Yes, Durbin and Madson were unreal, completely owning the Yanks in the 7th and 8th, but I really think Happ should have been sent out there for the 7th. Yes, I know it was his first start of the year and maybe he wasn't quite ready to pitch too many innings, but he was dealing. He deserved the shot.
Either way, Durbin did a phenomenal job, and Madson was his usual dominant self. I was having a ball. And, sitting in the leftfield bleachers way up there, we looked in the top of the ninth to see if anyone was throwing the Phils bullpen. Given the struggles of Brad Lidge this year, we were hoping Charlie would just leave Madson, who had just struck out the side, in. We couldn't see anyone getting warmed up, so we were pumped. But then, at the last minute, we saw Lidge tossing, and all of us felt squeamish.
A leadoff walk, followed by a two-run homer by Gay-Rod later and our day was ruined. Another blown save. Cano followed with a single, stole second and as the Yankee Stadium board flashed the stat that Melky Cabrera has the most walk-off hits since 2000-something with four, I said, "Well, here comes number 5." Sure enough, Melky drove home Cano to end the game, and I was beyond pissed.
How did this happen? How can Brad Lidge go from being nearly unhittable, perfect last season, a World Series champion, to being the worst pitcher in baseball overnight? And how can he completely melt down for the second time in his career? I'm not mad at Brad Lidge. I can't be. His performance last year won't let me. But right now, Brad Lidge sucks. Horribly. There has honestly been no pitcher I've seen worse than him. He's been pathetic. Right now, I have as good a chance of getting major league hitters out as Lidge does. That's just sad.
After blowing the save yet again yesterday, it's officially time. Brad Lidge should not be closing for the Phillies anymore. At least not any time soon. Not until he gets his command back and his mind clear. Ryan Madson has been an unhittable machine this year. He's primed for the closer spot. And with Romero coming back soon, it would be perfect, with J.C. as the setup guy and Madson the closer. All I know is Lidge needs to be pulled as closer right now. He's just dreadful. And he ruined my day on Saturday.
Luckily, the four of us wandered around NYC the rest of the night, drinking the night away. And we got into a nice verbal tussle with some Mets fans, making it all the better. And we may or may not have ended up in a strip club, then wandering Brooklyn trying to find my sister's house.
I do know we got drunk, had a reasonably good time and that Brad Lidge sucks. Oh, and New York is way to fucking big. Great place to visit, but damn, I don't think I could live there. However, I'll be back in a few short weeks with silver fox for Blogs with Balls, and I'm sure the stories will be flowing.
