Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Last night, I begrudgingly went to the Eagles-Panthers Monday Night Football spectacle despite my better judgment. The main reason is because my roommate had two tickets that were literally going to go to waste if I didn't take them, and even with this team being my least-liked Philadelphia Eagles team of my entire life, I can't just let tickets go to waste unnecessarily in good faith.

Plus, I was kind of looking forward to the shit show that was sure to ensue, and that's exactly what happened.

We all know the Eagles lost 30-22 in yet another pathetic display of effort by everyone not named Bryce Brown. But even the rookie running back couldn't stave off the failure in his breakout game, putting the ball on the turf twice to put a damper on his 178-yard, two-touchdown game.

I actually was reveling in the chorus of early boos as the Birds fell behind 14-3, playing with the type of effort that can only be described as nonexistent. In fact, it actually peeved me a little bit when the Eagles came back, took the lead and looked like they may actually be trying to win a game for once.

But those feelings quickly dissipated as the Eagles once again displayed their true character, turning the ball over, failing in the red zone and, on one late drive, jumping offsides on three consecutive plays. It was the most Eagles performance of the season in a year full of Eagles performances.

The only thing that made the trip worthwhile was the induction of Troy Vincent into the Eagles Hall of Fame. After all, Troy was one of my favorite players ever, and he and Bobby Taylor were key in the rise of Jim Johnson. That duo allowed Johnson to craft his elaborate blitzes at any time because he knew he could trust Bobby and Troy to not get beat in man coverage. That was truly a great cornerback duo.

All I could think about watching Troy speak as he thanked the fans is how disgusted he must be with this current crop of players, particularly on defense. The secondary is clueless and yet again had at least a half dozen communication breakdowns despite Todd Bowles proclaiming those should not be happening at this time of the year. The line still can't get the job done, and the linebackers were exposed yet again. This team stinks.

The worst part about it is, even after a seventh straight loss and with the team sitting at 3-8, these guys still seem to believe there's reason to congratulate themselves. Colt Anderson, who quite literally cannot play football, celebrated after making a play on special teams. Really, Colt? You're 3-7 at the time and on the way to 3-8, with the worst special teams coverage in the NFL, and you make one play and think you're hot shit? Go pound sand. Seriously. Fuck off. Forever.

And Trent Cole, hoo boy I have turned on Trent Cole. Here's a guy who has completely fallen off the cliff this season, quite literally being invisible the entire year. Then all the sudden last night he makes a few plays in the backfield like he remembered he's Trent Cole and makes sure the crowd knows it was him making the play. Go fuck yourself, Trent. Keep telling us how good you and Jason Babin are while dong nothing, and keep acting fake tough as you get blown off the ball. This is a defense that is all talk, with absolutely no heart or desire to back it up. They suck.

I hate this Eagles team more than I've ever hated any other team I've rooted for in my entire life. They are a collection of selfish, clueless players who continue to, even now, act as if their record doesn't reflect who they really are. Well guess what, you assholes are 3-8, you are one of the worst teams in the NFL and you are just a shitty, shitty group of players.

No amount of self-congratulations can mask that. You suck. I hate you all. And I've never wanted an Eagles season to end sooner.

I hope you're used to those boos, because they're only going to get louder and more pronounced, even as the crowds get thinner and thinner.


  1. See, here's what I don't like about teams.

    They know they stink and people are tired of watching them, so what do they do? They entice you to not go completely overboard by throwing in a Troy Vincent Appreciation Night. Vincent was too good a player for his night to be shared with this sad sack of shit of a football team.

    God bless you, sir. If anyone knows your pain, it's me dealing with this circus of a football team down here.

  2. I was thinking the exact same thing when the ceremony was going on.