Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Worst Type of Commuters Links

I take public transportation to work every day. More specifically, I take SEPTA, starting with the el and transferring to the subway. On any given day, it is either the most convenient way to travel or the most inconvenient for various reasons. But one thing is always, always, always constant: the other SEPTA riders suck.

The first and ultimately most annoying is hands down the ridiculously loud talker. This person can come in a variety of forms, but 99 times out of 100 it is a woman. The other time it is a group of teenagers. Now, the teenagers I can understand. You put a group of kids together, usually all friends, and they're going to talk and be loud. That's what teenagers do. But when the middle-aged women talk at incredibly loud volumes, either on the phone or in conversation, well, that's just rude. And, I hate to say it, but this woman typically comes in one of two fashions: a white trash Kensington bitch, typically overweight and most definitely spewing loud obscenities, regardless of whether or not there are young children around; and an insanely obnoxious black woman who doesn't give a shit what anyone says and don't you give me that look I can do what the fuck I want I'm a grown woman. Women like this are why men like Chris Brown and O.J. Simpson exist.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit

Hey bitch, shut the fuck up! There are other people on the train. Some are trying to read, others are trying to sleep and the rest simply don't wanna hear your bullshit. Shut up. Or die. Preferably both.

The next group is the people who refuse to move out of others' way. Working a 9-5, the train is typically very crowded both on my way to work and on my way home. Oftentimes, the cars are jam-packed. The polite thing to do is move in as far as you can so people can get on and off, or at the very least, move out of people's way so they can get to a spot. But there are these people who crowd right around the doors, clogging up the works and preventing people from getting on or getting space, despite the fact that there is plenty of room in the aisles. Many times, these people won't even move out of the way for a split second so the polite people can get by and fill up the aisles. These people can all rot in hell.

Then there are the aggravatingly annoying slow walkers. You know what I'm talking about here. The people who casually stroll getting on and off the train, taking painfully long to go up and down the steps, slowing down the rest of the world. Listen, I'm a man who likes to sleep. I wake up as late as humanly possible to brush my teeth, shower, dress and get to work on time. I walk briskly. That's how I squeeze every ounce of sleep I can out of the morning. But then, I get stuck behind these people and it throws my whole timing off. Usually I can get around them, but not always. Especially going up and down the stairs. Hey old lady, get a move on! Yo fat fuck, drop some pounds and get the fuck out of the way! And you people who aren't fat, aren't old and have no physical problems and still walk slow, well, fuck you! I gotta get to work, and when I'm going home, I want to get there as fast as humanly possible. So get moving!

Of course, there are always the cases of the beggars, the smelly homeless people and the bad body odor people, who all should go away and never return as well. Get a job, get a shower and get some deodorant. And stop ruining my commute. All of you.

Link time …

-Dash calls Cole Hamels the co-ace of the Phils. I disagree, mainly because I do believe he is a big drop-off from Halladay. But that's not to say Cole still isn't really, really good, or at least capable of being really, really good. We're talking about arguably the best pitcher in baseball in Halladay. Cole Hamels has never come close to that label. Not once. So yeah, pretty much anyone is a big drop-off from Roy, especially a guy who has never been an all-star, never had a sub-3.00 ERA and is coming off the worst season of his life.

Having said that, I expect Cole to have a bounceback year. At least, I hope he does. We all know he has the stuff, he has the talent. It's simply a matter of having the mental makeup, of focusing. Because when he's in the zone, like he was during the 2008 postseason, he can be on a plain with the Roy Halladays of the world. But he's never put an entire season together that equals anything Halladay has done. Maybe this is the year, with something to prove. To prove the 2008 postseason wasn't a fluke, to prove he can become a Cy Young candidate, one of the true aces in the league. It certainly would be a good time to do it.

-The Eagles signed punter Duran Brooks. Here's a taste of what he can do:

Good god! So long, Sav (maybe, hopefully).

-Chris Mortensen is always wrong, and Adam Schefter knows it.

-LeBron had 22 and 15 last night, just another normal day for him:

Now if he'd just stop being a baby and do the dunk contest for once.

-Jerry Dixon of Columbus East would like to introduce himself:

-White men can jump, or in the case of Toni Kukco, dunk at least:

-Cal Clutterbuck was a one-man wrecking crew against the Stars, via Puck Daddy:

It kind of reminds me of the series against the Rangers in 1997, when the Flyers went to the Cup. In that series, Trent Klatt was taking out every Ranger in site with bone-crushing checks. It's always awesome to watch one man inflict so much damage.

-Nice mustache, Doug:

-The best amateur dunkers, with video evidence:

Oh, and Cal Ripken was at the Pavilion last night taking in No. 2 Villanova's victory over Seton Hall. Word on the street is Cal really likes college basketball.

BallHype: hype it up!

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