Tuesday, February 16, 2010

You Are Not Normal Links

It's tough to say exactly what normal is, but it's not remotely difficult to point out someone who's not normal. And one of my roommates, the hated one, is not normal. In fact, he doesn't even remotely resemble a normal human being.

Now, I'm not saying the rest of us are normal either. I live in a house with four other people. Three of my roommates and I are at least functioning human beings that don't weird every person we meet out and make any situation awkward and uncomfortable. We all like normal things that guys like — sports, food, farting, women, alcohol — and know how to function in social situations. Our other roommate does not. Every time he enters the room, he takes away from the atmosphere. Every time he opens his mouth, you just want to punch it shut.

Here's an example: On Sunday, I was putting on boots and bundling up to go dig my car out of the snow. It was completely buried, because I hadn't moved it since the Friday before last, Feb. 5, the night before the first of back-to-back gigantic snow storms here in Philadelphia. My car was literally completely buried by snow. In comes my awful roommate, asking where I'm going. I tell him I'm headed to my car to dig it out of the snow, and tell him exactly where it is parked — which is literally not even 100 yards from my house. He asks me if I want him to give a ride there. Let me repeat that: He asked me if I wanted a ride to my car that was about a one-minute walk from my house. That's how lonely and pathetic this asshole is. He wanted to drive me 25 seconds down the block. That's not normal.

Another example: One of my roommates and I were watching TV with a friend of ours the morning after a heavy night of drinking. Down walks asshole roommate from the stairs, hovers near me and says, "Pick one." I ignore him, because I hate him. He then gets my attention and says pick one. I begrudgingly look over and see he has two watches, one in each hands. I say, "What? For what?" He replies, "Just pick one," so I point to one. He throws it at me and says, "Merry Christmas," then tosses the other to my other roommate. I tell him I don't even wear watches and don't want this stupid thing. He tells to give it to someone else and then leaves the house.

I toss the watch to the side and marvel at the stupidity of this schmuck. Wouldn't a normal person just ask, "Hey, I have these two watches I never wear — you want one?" But no, he goes through some elaborate game of pick-one when I don't even want a watch to begin with. I DON'T FUCKING WEAR A WATCH! Even when he's trying to be nice, he makes it weird, awkward and uncomfortable. I hope he gets hit by a bus. Thank god he's rarely ever home.

Stop. Linking time …

-The curious case of Lance Stephenson, who is getting sort of swept under the rug.

Something tells me Lance is going to burst back onto the scene next year, either in college or the NBA.

-A Q&A with Antonio Pena, who talks about the Big 5 and has some great praise for his teammate, Scottie Reynolds:

Dime: How about those Big 5 games in Philly?
AP: Man, the Big 5, I consider it more like a championship atmosphere. You’re always gonna get your opponent’s best game. La Salle, Drexel, you’re gonna get their best game; that’s like their championship game.

Dime: Opinions are split on Scottie Reynolds’ NBA potential. As somebody who practices and plays with him every day, what do you think of Scottie as a pro?
AP: In my opinion, he’s a basketball player. You can put him on the court and whatever you need from him, he can do it. He can be a point guard, a two-guard … he has the heart to play the four or the five if he had to.

Dime: Take us through that game-winner Scottie hit against Pitt in the Elite Eight last year?
AP: I didn’t know how he would score, but I knew he would score once he got the ball in his hands. I’ve seen him do it too many times. When he gets the ball, he makes things happen.

Pena's definitely stepped his game up this year for Nova, taking a cue from Scottie.

-For anyone who thinks Allen Iverson hasn't matured at least a little bit, read this about how he's dealing with his daughter's sickness, which doctors have not been able to pinpoint as of yet. And he drops this little line about basketball and Philadelphia as well:

Iverson said he told Jordan that "whatever decisions he makes regarding me, I'm all in.

"I'm going to support him regardless of what it is, whether I'm happy with it or not. I'm happy with the situation of being back in Philadelphia; I don't want to mess that up for [anything]."

Best wishes to his daughter, and definitely looking forward to seeing him back out on the court tonight.

-Excellent read on the uplifting and now sad story of Ray Ray McElrathbey, who came to notoriety for adopting his younger brother while at Clemson.

-Philly native Hakim Warrick can throw down:

-Isaiah Armwood had a sick dunk in Nova's loss last night:

-A very sensible take on the Sixers and players they should not trade. I agree 100 percent on Thaddeus, Speights and Jrue. I'm not onboard with Lou Will. I'd have no problem trading him. Also, I'd love to somehow get Beasley, but I don't even really see the Sixers making any major deals.

-Fat guy on a little sled:

-10 things Brad Bartone doesn't want to hear from Mets spring trainging:

6. “Nelson Figueroa is expected to start the season on the MLB roster, then immediately report to extended spring training. He will then be designated for assignment, and if he clears waivers, will report directly to Roosevelt Ave. Car Wash and Detailing Center.”


Oh, and during last night's Nova-UConn game, I saw this commercial.

Is it wrong for me to hope Scottie Reynolds doesn't break Kerry's Villanova scoring record?

BallHype: hype it up!

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