New York is Getting Pretty Good at This Choking Thing

Last night, I made the questionable decision to go the Phillies game and get my Charlie Manuel bobblehead.



Now, the decision wasn't questionable because it was a Phillies game. Of course I love going to Phillies games. But with the Sixers taking on the Magic for game 5 and my rooting interests of seeing the Rangers choke in game 7 consuming some of my thinking, I kind of wanted to just watch the Phils/Sixers/hockey games at my house. But, I decided instead to leave work early, get drunk with silver fox and Toonces before the Phils game and watch in attendance.

I'm glad I did, seeing as the Sixers were handled by the Magic 91-78 while the Fightins hit four home runs in the 7-1 win. The thing that sucks is Cole only lasted 4 and a third because he rolled his ankle on a play I thought he simply slipped on. Turns out, it was a pretty bad turn of the ankle. Just what we need.



Chad Durbin came in and did a bang-up job, and the offense did not disappoint. Chase got things going in the third with a two-run bomb, and in my inebriated state I called Pedro Feliz's home run. True story. Ask Toonces.

The game was a grand old time, as Chase hit another bomb and Raul continued to be totally awesome with a dinger of his own, not to mention Toonces deciding to knock the beer that was resting on my knee right off, thus drenching the poor kid in front of us. Then an inning later, the guy got me again, knocking another beer out of my hand. What a waste of wonderful alcohol.

I didn't really see much of the Sixers except a little of the fourth quarter, but at the end, Orlando pulled away. However, I did come across this:



Damn! Howard rocked Sammy there. Poor guy. Not only do the Sixers take it on the chin, but Sammy literally takes it on the chin. Down 3-2, I don't see the Sixers forcing a game 7. Then again, I didn't see them getting to a game 6 to be quite honest with you.

But now back to the main point: New York's penchant for choking. It's becoming a habit I'm beginning to thoroughly enjoy. After nearly a quarter-century of choke jobs and losing here in Philadelphia, I'm taking great joy in watching another city see its teams collapse before their eyes.

With last night's 2-1 loss in Washington, the Rangers blew a 3-1 series lead, making me very, very happy. (Plus, the Devils got knocked out too!) And when you think back to it, everything began to unravel with New York back in 2004. That's when the choking truly began.



In case you've forgotten, the Yankees won the first three games of the ALCS against the Boston Red Sox, then proceeded to lose four straight, becoming the first team ever in the history of the universe to blow a 3-0 series lead. The Red Sox went on to win the World Series, and the Yankees haven't even come close to getting back since. And this, year, well, they're not doing so hot either.

Then, there has been the whole debacle that is the New York Knicks. I don't think you can properly say they are chokers, but more accurately, jokers. It was a choke job hiring Isaiah Thomas to run your franchise in the first place, but really, the Knicks have become a laughingstock, although they are working their way out of that.

But that doesn't mean choking has been few and far between for New York. No, not at all. Just take a look at the New York Mets. They blew September division leads the past two seasons, trying to belittle the Phillies with their words in the process, while the Phils caught fire down the stretch both years to leave the Mets in their wake.

Oh, yeah, and then the Phils went out and became World Fucking Champions.



Yeah, the choking trend did take a turn when the Giants won the Super Bowl, but fuck the Giants. How'd that whole Brett Favre thing work out for the Jets? That's what I thought.

Anyway, with the Rangers completing their collapse last night, it's become abundantly clear that New York is becoming pretty good at this choking thing. At least they're good at something.

Want to Smile? Tune In to Some Hockey

It's a good time to be a hockey fan in Philadelphia right now. First off, the Flyers currently sit at fourth in the Eastern Conference and second in the Atlantic Division, and they've played the least amount of games (55) in the conference. They're getting healthy and playing good hockey, and the team has a lot of depth.



To top things off, the Rangers are struggling of late and the Penguins are currently four points out of the eighth and final playoff spot in the East. And they just fired their coach who took them to the Stanley Cup Finals last year. Tremendous.

Making things even better, both the Rangers and Penguins lost last night, and New York even got the shit kicked out of them physically. I mean, just check out Cam Janssen beating the piss out of Aaron Voros.



Spectacular. Now, if something bad can just happen to those damn Devils …

I Love Beating New York

Ten goals in two games. Both against New York teams. Yeah, that was a pretty sweet weekend.



Now, Saturday's 5-1 win over the Islanders was a bit deceptive with the score. The Isles actually played the Flyers pretty tough but couldn't find the back of the net thanks to Marty Biron. He stopped 38 freakin shots and looked an awful lot like the Biron who was standing on his head much of the playoffs last season. That was nice to see.

And while Biron was stonewalling the Islanders, the Flyers were capitalizing the way good teams are supposed to. The opener came on an incredible backhand pass by Scottie Upshall to Claude Giroux, who made no mistake, burying the puck. Almost immediately afterward, Aaron Asham beat the piss out of Tim Jackman.





The Flyers never looked back. Hartnell gave the Flyers a 2-0 lead before the first was through, and then, Carle, Asham and Gagne went bang, bang, bang, scoring three goals in 1:07 to ice the game. The highlight was definitely Simon's penalty shot goal, which was a thing of beauty.



Gagne is now a perfect 3-for-3 on penalty shots in his career.

And while a 5-1 win over the Islanders is always nice, it was nothing compared to yesterday. On national television, NBC to be exact, the Flyers finally took on the Rangers again with a chance to redeem the 4-3 loss in October. And boy did they ever do that, up in Madison Square Garden no less.

For the second straight game, Giroux got things going, opening the scoring with assists from Upshall and Darroll Powe. All game long, much like in the Islanders game, this line was the most energetic, most effective line for the Flyers. I hate to make hasty comparisons, but honestly, watching Giroux since he's come up this season, he reminds me of a less physical (and obviously, not nearly as good at this point) Peter Forsberg, as far as his vision on the ice and tremendous passing skills are concerned.



He has been especially impressive the past few games, and the future looks very bright for Giroux.

The first period was actually pretty evenly played, with the Flyers getting a few more scoring chances than New York, but the complexion of the game changed completely thanks to the captain. Mike Richards, quite possibly the most underrated superstar in the NHL, as Pierre McGuire and Mike Milbury pointed out, completely ripped out the Rangers' and their fans' collective hearts with this thing of beauty:



Yeah, that was a 5-on-3 shorthanded goal by Richards, the third time he's scored when his team was down two men in his career, setting the all-time record. Suck on that Lundqvist.

Well, Richards' goal opened the flood gates. A few minutes later, Matt Carle scored his second goal is as many days, and 54 seconds later, Glen Metropolit banked one off Henrik, chasing the guy most Rangers fans think is the best goalie in hockey out of the game in embarrassing fashion. Just for good measure, Knuble scored less than a minute later on some beautiful passing to put the Flyers up 5-0.

Man was it sweet. However, the Rangers didn't roll over and die. In fact, from that point on, they pretty much dominated the Flyers. Two problems though: They went down 5-0 and Marty Biron was fantastic. For the second straight game, Marty stopped 30-plus shots, turning away 35 of 37 offerings. He was especially strong late in the game when the Flyers, up by 4, seemed to run out of gas and energy. However, Marty stood tall and the Flyers came away with a very satisfying 5-2 win, outscoring New York opponents 10-3 over the weekend.

It was pretty awesome, especially seeing Claude Giroux follow up his strong game against the Islanders by being the best player on the ice against the Rangers. Yes, I said Giroux was the best player on the ice in yesterday's game, and I mean it. He had a goal and two assists, and every time he was on the ice, he made things happen for the Flyers. Now, the Fly guys are three points up on the Rangers with two games in hand. Still eight behind the Devils though, but again, two games in hand.

This Guy's a Phony

I like my brother-in-law. Honestly, I do. He may be a Rangers and Yankees fan, but at least he hates the Mets and has no use for the Giants. Plus, he's a good guy. He really is. But sometimes, he just doesn't get it. Take for instance, this email he just sent me:

since i see based on your postings that you people down there have this inferiority complex with us up here in NYC. And have the urge to let us know whenever anything decent happens down there (Giants aside since i have no use for them anyway.) here is this mornings updated NHL Atlantic division standings. Take a look and realize that you will NOT simply have this division without any kind of fight. So tell those fags in orange to bring it. Henrik will make them all his bitches and put them on the corner to make him some money.

enjoy (NYC will always rule the east coast)



Yes, the Flyers are in second place, but I'd like to point out, once again, that the Rangers have played two more games. Second of all, as I pointed out the other day, New York does not, in fact, rule the East Coast, especially in sports, anymore. Check the facts. The Phillies are World Fucking Champions. Correct me if I'm wrong, but no New York team is the champion right now. In fact, the Eagles are in the NFC Championship game, the Flyers are coming off a trip to the Eastern Conference Finals, and the Sixers have won four straight games. No team from New York can boast such accolades currently in each sport.

But lastly, I'd like to focus on this: "Giants aside since i have no use for them anyway." Seeing as my brother-in-law is born and bred in Brooklyn, where he currently lives still, naturally you'd think, OK, he doesn't like the Giants, so he must like the Jets, right? Wrong. His favorite NFL team is the San Francisco 49ers. What? you say. Exactly. You wanna know why he's a Niners fan? Because he's a phony. A big, fat phony.



Mr. New York there loves the Niners because when he was young, the Niners were dominant, with Joe Montana, Bill Walsh and Jerry Rice running roughshod over the league. Hence, my brother-in-law latched on to the team as a front-running youngster. Somehow, someone born and bred in New York, who claims to be a New York die-hard that loves the Yankees and Rangers, does not root for any New York football teams. He roots for a team from San Francisco, which has quite a bit of gays mind you, not that there's anything wrong with that.



I didn't want to have to do this, but it had to be said. For all your dedication and loyalty to the Rangers and Yankees, you are a fraud. College is one thing. People can like schools from anywhere for whatever reason, but you root for your hometown pro teams. At least, that's what real people do. Flyers, Sixers, Eagles, Phillies. Those are my favorite teams. They all are in Philadelphia. Not two of them. Not three. All four. Because that's what real men do. They support their city's teams. Not just the ones they deem worthy … or coincidentally the ones that have historically won a lot of championships. Just saying.

LET'S GO BIRDS!!!!!!!

It's Pretty Sunny in Philadelphia

I'd like to make an admission: I'm 24 years old, soon to be 25, and in my lifetime, Philadelphia has always played second fiddle to New York in the sports landscape.



There was the Yankees winning championship after championship, while the Phillies were on their way to 10,000 losses. The Giants won not one, but two Super Bowls since my birth, while the Eagles repeatedly came up short. And the Rangers won a Stanley Cup while the Flyers failed to reach the promised land. Sure, the Knicks really haven't done squat, but neither have the Sixers.

That is all just a way to say, when it came to sports—my one true passion in life—New York was always better. Well, today, rejoice Philadelphians, because we fucking own New York right now. The Yankees? Haven't won a World Series since the turn of the century and didn't even make the playoffs last year. The Mets? Choking frauds. The Phillies? World Fucking Champions, bitches!



And the dominance doesn't end there. You see, the Flyers, despite having played two less games, sit a point ahead of the Rangers, who started off red hot and are now searching for answers. Not to mention, you know, the Flyers made the Eastern Conference finals last year while the Rangers, um, did not.


Just as Scott Gomez is chasing Mike Richards above, the Rangers are chasing the first-place Flyers

And there was yesterday. Oh, how glorious it was. While I was in North Jersey, an old, hilarious Giants fan repeatedly let it be known that the Eagles "suck moose cock." As he described, "Moose cock is the biggest cock, and the Eagles suck moose cock."



Well, the moose cocksuckers completely dismantled Eli Manning. Provoking the many variations of the Eli face.









I wonder what kind of cock Eli and his teammates are sucking right now. Whatever it is, Tom Coughlin looks ready.



What I'm trying to say is, New York, you suck. Philly owns your ass right now. World Series? Got it. Still alive in the NFL? Check. First place in the NHL? You betcha. Fuck off you living the past, talk about the future and ignore the present jerkoffs. I couldn't be happier to see you lose, yet again, and fall farther behind the World Champion Philadelphians.

Things were so grim that on our trip back to Philly, a car was completely engulfed in flames going northbound on the Jersey Turnpike.



I can only assume it was a Giants fan on his way back to New York who just couldn't take the fact that New York has become losers while Philadelphia has become a winner.

Two more wins.

LET'S GO BIRDS!!!!!!!