Monday, January 4, 2010

An Open Letter to the Eagles

Dear Eagles,

I would like to personally thank you for ruining not one, but two weekends for me. How, you say? Let me tell you.

You see, by going out and losing 24-0 to the Cowboys of all teams yesterday, you not only lost the division, but you ruined what had been a pretty nice New Year's weekend. Losing is bad enough. Losing to the Cowboys, for the second time this season mind you, AND getting shut out doing it — all while having, you know, EVERYTHING to play for — is the worst type of losing there is. I hate the Cowboys. I hate them so very much.

Now, you've also ruined my Saturday night for the coming weekend. That's right, you ruined my plans. You see, I figured that with the division and a first-round bye on the line, not to mention revenge entering the equation considering the Cowboys already had beaten you on your own field — a game I was at (thanks again!) — you'd come out and whoop some ass, continuing your win streak and having off next weekend. Instead, you completely shit the bed, and now you're playing at 8 o'clock on Saturday night. This interferes with what was supposed to be a glorious Saturday of taking in two sporting events in person with silver fox.

See, I have two free tickets to the Flyers game Saturday night against the Lightning, which starts at 7, in primo seats no less. Silver fox has two tickets to the Villanova-Marquette game at 2 p.m. at the Pavilion. The plan was for us to first go to the Nova game, then head to my house, relax a bit and then go to the Flyers. Now, I have to give up the Flyers tickets, which were free mind you, so I can watch your sorry ass play again in Dallas in a game you shouldn't even be playing. You should have next week off, resting up and preparing for a home playoff game. And I should be enjoying a nice double-header of games myself, going to the Nova game and then the Flyers game.

That's how I wanted to spend my Saturday. Now you ruined it. Thanks a lot, assholes. If you don't win next weekend, I just may be forced to kill you all.

Reverend Paul Revere

P.S. Fuck you guys. Seriously. 24-0? Are you kidding me? I hate you.

BallHype: hype it up!

1 comment: