I Know Brian Dawkins, and You, My Friend, Are No Brian Dawkins

Apparently, the Eagles have signed Sean Jones, a 27-year-old strong safety who has played all three of his NFL seasons with the Browns.



Yesterday on Daily News Live, Paul Domowitch said Jones is strictly a strong safety, so this officially means Quintin Mikell will be moving to free safety to try and fill the considerable shoes that Brian Dawkins vacated. We all know Mikell is a damn fine football, but what of this Sean Jones character?

Well, for starters, he went to Georgia. Let's hope he's a lot better at his job than Reggie Brown is at his. In all honesty, I don't know dick about Jones, but he did put up impressive numbers his first two season in the league. Rumor has it he had a down year last season because he was coming off an injury, and you know, he played for the fucking Cleveland Browns.

It certainly sounds like a smart move for the Eagles, who definitely needed to secure a starter for this season at safety. Hopefully Mikell will have no problems transitioning to free safety. I suspect he won't.



And while Sean Jones could very well turn out to be a good player for the Eagles, he sure as shit ain't Brian Dawkins. And that's why no one really gives a crap about this. Plus, even with Dawk departing, the Eagles have much, much bigger concerns to address. Like left tackle. You know, the position that is the most vital in protecting the quarterback—a quarterback who just so happens to have a history of getting injured. Oh, and then there's running back. And tight end. And wide receiver. And a pass rusher that can actually play the run as well.

But why bother with that? Let's let an all-time great go, giving us another unnecessary hole to fill, and then fill that first. I mean, who needs a left tackle anyway?

Update: Maybe I should be more excited. A jerk is praising Sean Jones:

Fucking piece of shit ass franchise bitch ass mother fucking cold ass whore, Eagles.

Picking up Sean Fucking Jones. Fuck that. How the hell was this possible? Nobody watches the Browns. How the hell could anyone have known that Sean Jones is a fucking badass safety?

AND WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T MANKOK FUCKING RESIGN FUCKING SEAN FUCKING JONES. FUCK SHIT ASS.

/passes out

Badass safety, huh? Me likes the sound of that.