Monday, March 16, 2009

Yo, Guy, You Stink

Ah, what a weekend it was in the land of free and the home of the cheesesteak. As promised, I'm here to give you all the rundown of the weekend that was for ye olde Reverend.

It all started on Friday night with the final NBA game in the illustrious life of the Spectrum.

Now, I have to admit, the Sixers started things off on the wrong foot for this game. Excited and anxious for the game Arkansas Fred and silver fox made the trip from Bucks County bright and early. Being the hard worker that I am, I arrived at my office at 7:30 a.m. just so I could leave a little early, meet up with those two idiots and walk around the Spectrum one last time.

Here's the catch: When I arrived at Broad and Pattison to meet up with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum at 5, we were informed the doors weren't opening until 6. What the fuck? I mean, really? In the last true professional sporting event to take place at the Spectrum, no one was allowed in until an hour before tip-off? That's messed up. I was looking forward to walking around the place to check it out one last time, but that plan was completely thwarted. By the time they opened the doors, the fans were flooding it, making it impossible to navigate around in the tight confines of the Spectrum. Not a good way to start.

It was one of the many downs in the up-and-down weekend. We entered, got our free lanyards and posters, took our seats up in the nose bleeds and settled in for what we hoped would be a fun night. Well, turns out, you put a rolled up poster in my hands and I instantly revert back to an elementary school kid. Arkansas Fred, silver fox and I were hitting each other with the posters, using them as bull horns and honestly, if anyone around us happened upon our inane conversations before the ceremonies began, they would swear we were no older than 15 … instead of, you know, in our mid-20s.

Anyway, as game time approached, our experience took a turn for the worst. An older gentleman, probably in his late 50s, early 60s, sat down in front of us with a hoagie in hand. About 30 seconds after he sat down, a stench so vile that even a dog wouldn't go up and attempt to sniff it permeated our section. Immediately, Arkansas Fred covered his nose, made a horrid face and pointed toward the man in front of us. I mean, this smell was awful.

At first, I assumed it must have been his hoagie. Sometimes sandwiches can give off quite an unpleasant odor. But long after this slob had finished feeding, the putrid smell lingered. In fact, every time the man moved, the stench grew stronger. I'm not exaggerating, I'd rather have sat next to a sewage plant than have to be around this fellow. It was that bad. He fucking stank.

Honestly, this guy smelled like a cross between a decaying dead animal, puke, sweat and vinegar. Maybe. I'm really not sure what the smell was to tell the truth, but it was the worst thing ever. All I know is that people who wash themselves do not smell like that. And nothing should smell like that. Really, seeing as he smelled like death anyway, that guy should do the rest of the world a favor and just kill himself.

The good news is that the game and presentations were pretty sweet. The Sixers who were being honored from the 1982-83 championship team were introduced by Joe Conklin in the voice of the famed deceased former Sixers PA announcer Dave Zinkoff, and sporadically throughout the game, Conklin would make timeout announcements and the like in Zink's voice.

Now, what I'm about to say is probably going to upset some of the Philadelphia faithful, but honestly, if Conklin's impersonation of Zinkoff was as spot on as most of his other impersonations are, and if Zinkoff really did always announce like Conklin did in those few instances, I'd have gone completely mad attending Sixers games. Don't get me wrong, I think Matt Cord is fucking hack who, if there is any justice in the world, will have his vocal chords removed and lose any ability to talk in the very, very near future, but honestly, given all the praise I've heard over the years about Zink (from my dad and others), I just don't get it. Hearing that nasally voice go over the top on everything was annoying as hell. Hopefully it was just for the effect on Friday, because I mean no disrespect to a dead man. But for real, the Zink impression was annoying the shit out of me.

What did not annoy me was the good Doctor's speech before tip-off. Dr. J was gracious as always, gave a very heartfelt speech and urged the Sixers to beat the Bulls … which is exactly what they did, albeit in a very close contest.

Although there was certainly some obstructed viewing with the poorly places thick, black rails in our section, it was cool watching the game in the gym atmosphere of the Spectrum. It was a tight contest, and Thaddeus Young was a beast, scoring a career-high 31 points.

He put on quite a performance, much like Derek Rose. If you haven't gotten the opportunity to see Rose play in person, do yourself a favor and make it a priority. The kid is just sick. He got wherever he wanted on the floor virtually all night, opened up many shots for his teammates, and without Rose, the Bulls would have easily lost by 30 points instead of just 3. He's a beast.

But the beastliest player on the court Friday was Young, even though in the fourth quarter his teammates seemed to completely forget that. All game long, Young was dominating, getting to the rim, hitting jumpers, doing it all. Then, after a rest early in the fourth, with the game tight and the Bulls posing a serious threat, Andre Iguodala and Andre Miller refused to even look Thad's way. As a result, the Bulls pulled closer and had a chance to tie at the end of the game. Luckily, the Bulls couldn't make the final shot, and Andre Iguodala did take over at the end, but the stupidity in the fourth quarter of this team drove me nuts.

Which brings to the conclusion, officially, that Tony DiLeo is not a good coach. Shocker, I know. But really, he put his team in some horrible match-up situations in the final quarter, not the least of which was having Reggie Evans attempt to guard Tim Thomas. Evans routinely played off Thomas and doubled off him, leaving a very good three-point shooter open from beyond the arc routinely. And Thomas hit a couple big shots to keep the Bulls close.

Then, DiLeo sat a scorching-hot Thad, then proceeded to allow his team to completely ignore him offensively when he got back in the game. Oh, and he should have had his team foul at the end rather than give the Bulls an opportunity to tie the game with a three. But he didn't because he's not a good coach, which is why the Sixers are still nothing more than a mediocre, inconsistent basketball team. But hey, they won, and it was great.

Almost as great as hearing that Temple beat Xavier to advance to the A-10 finals, which of course they won on Saturday to steal a spot in the dance.

Much like Syracuse seems at home in Madison Square Garden, the Owls love them some AC. I'm pretty pumped that they won again, even if it meant taking the spot that potentially could have gone to Penn State. I'm a Temple basketball fan first, and the Owls deserved to be dancing. Dionte is a stud, and their RPI was way too good to be left out. Now they'll take on a good Arizona State team, but my money's going on the Owls.

Anyway, after the game, we headed back to my house, watched Penn State get killed and relaxed for the remainder of the night. Then on Saturday, silver fox and I decided to head out on the Erin Express.

We made it exactly one stop in, downed a couple beers and some car bombs, and then couldn't get on the bus because it was so packed. So we instead headed to drink at a more comfortable location, watching the Flyers dismantled the Rangers thanks to two goals by Aaron Asham and a nice game by Marty Biron, witness UNC lose to Florida State with no Ty Lawson, and then went back to my house to watch Temple win the A-10 tourney yet again.

Then we headed to Bucks County, drove around a bit and rested up for a 22-round offline fantasy baseball draft yesterday. It was certainly an experience to say the least. The Flyers were getting killed, leading to some responses from the stupid Rangers fans I know and had mocked on Saturday, the Sixers beat the Heat behind the deadly three-point shooting of Donyell Marshall, who Arkansas Fred seems to be in love with, and the draft took roughly 2 and half hours.

It's the baseball draft honey, I got Matsui!

The highlight was certainly the ridiculous spelling of the names by CuzinVin, who is clearly the least informed on baseball and an idiot to boot and was somehow the guy writing the names on the big board, with R. Kinow (Robinson Cano) and A. Lee (Utley) taking the cake.

Then I wrapped up my weekend by watching the selection show on CBS, and I can't really argue with much. There was one issue I had, however, and that had to do with the No. 1 seeds. Now, UNC, Pitt and Louisville deservedly got No. 1s. They all deserved it, earned it. My issue is with UConn getting a No. 1 ahead of Memphis. Yes, I know the Big East was brutal this year and that Conference USA isn't the toughest conference in the world. But, UConn has already proven they don't deserve a No. 1. How? Well, they lost to Pitt. Twice. In the same season. Call me crazy, but a team that loses to the same team twice in one year just doesn't deserve a No. 1 seed in my book when there is another worthy team.

That team is Memphis. The Tigers had fewer losses, and yeah, they play in a pretty bad conference, but I'm pretty sure Memphis proved its worth last year, if I remember correctly. Let me check my memory. Did UConn, or Pitt or Louisville or any other Big East team for that matter, play in the national title game last year? No? You have to be kidding me. Well, then, who was the team that lost to Kansas on that sick shot by Mario Chalmers? The team that should have won if they just hit some damn free throws? Memphis?!? Get the fuck out of here.

What I'm trying to say is, Memphis deserved the No. 1 seed over UConn. They just did. The Tigers were the runners up last year, and even with the departure of Derek Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts, Memphis cruised through Conference USA, played sick D all year and emerged with just three losses. Still, a No. 2 isn't a slap in the face, but the Big East, as awesome as it was this year, didn't deserve three No. 1s, especially since UConn lost to Pitt twice this year.

That is all.

BallHype: hype it up!


  1. "Stupid Rangers Fan Here", Yes we did split the weekend. But really the Rangers should have won both games. The Saturday game the Rangers badly out shot the Flyers 41-29 but Biron decided to play out of his ass and made some sick ass saves otherwise the Rangers would have been up by like 3-4 by the end of the second period,....

  2. Here's the thing … the Yankees should have made the playoffs last year if they would have won more games, but they didn't. A win is a win and a loss is a loss.

  3. That coupled with the fact the Wade Redden sucks HAIRY MONKEY BALLS!!! was directly responsible for 2 of the goals against us. He HANDED you guys that game. The Sunday game turned out the way the Saturday game should have. The Rangers dominated everything in that game from start to finish. Avery had the Flyers all worried about him and forgot about the game itself. Turns out they were right though, Sean had 2 Powerplay goals, And Niittymaki looked like some fine Swiss cheese. With the split that leaves us 4 points in back of you with 13 games to play, 2 head to head. Even though you have 2 games at hand on us that won't matter...

  4. The Wings are gonna ass fuck them tomorrow while the Rangers Beat the Habs. Then next Monday They will Donkey fucked again by the Devils. There goes the 2 games at hand. Don't worry about the Yanks This year will be different. The W.S. trophy is coming back to the Bronx where it belongs. W.S. Predition: Yanks take series from Philly 4-2.

  5. Ah, it feels good to have New York aspiring to Philadelphia's heights. The Yankees want OUR WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONSHIP, and the Rangers, even with yesterday's win, are CHASING the Flyers. Feels preeeeetttttttttyyyyy, preeeeeeetttttttyyyyy good.

  6. Even if the Rangers don't catch the Flyers, That doesn't matter. The Rangers will make the playoffs, and i hope they go head up with the Flyers. The Rangers will shove their hockey sticks up the Flyers asses and turn them all into popsicles. As for the Phillies you has your 5 minutes as the man now it's time for your hot air balloon to explode. This year will be our time again, and the year after that, and the year after that. What the hell the Yanks have won 5 in row from 1949-1953, It's time for us to repeat that.

  7. 49-53? Really? What were you, 10 when that started?

  8. No, my old man was only born in 1950. I came along in the "Bronx Zoo" days of the late 70's. just being a fan of a team you should know something about your teams history right? So you gonna 25 on friday you old bat, a few more years and your sisters will be getting you that rascal scooter for your 30th b-day. And yes i am older than you, but that don't mean shit i'll still play sports till i can't stand up no more.

  9. History don't mean dick in the present, son. Tortorella is a prick.

  10. always remember my son "History Can Repeat Itself". You can talk shit on Tortorella all you want he has something on his resume John Stevens doesn't have (a Stanley Cup). That means he's knows what it takes to get a team to the top.