Dueling Dirk and Melo, Plus Goals, Goals, Goals, Goals

The people at work are killing me with shit to do today, so I really don't have time to go into what transpired last night, which sucks, because it was awesome.

The Caps and Pens went to overtime again, with Washington forcing its third straight 7th game in the playoffs (last year's loss to the Flyers, this year against the Rangers and now the Penguins); Dirk and Melo went at it hard last night, each getting over 40, with Dirk forcing a game 5; and the Blackhawks and Canucks played in one of the most wildly entertaining shootouts I've ever seen. Oh, and LeBron finished off the Hawks, but we all knew that was coming.

Just watch and enjoy:







That was some insane action last night. The playoffs should be like that every single night.

So About That Defense

Throughout the league, the Phillies are considered one of the best fielding teams in baseball. They typically catch the ball and rarely make any errors. That was key to their World Fucking Champion 2008 campaign, and that trend has continued; the Phillies entered last night with the fewest errors in the majors (5).



So, what do the Phillies do against the best pitcher in baseball? They make their lives even tougher, committing 3 freakin errors. It's tough enough to beat Johan Santana, the margin for error is already razor-thin, so the Phils go out and forget how to field for a night, giving up an unearned run in a 1-0 loss.

Pathetic. It's one thing to lose to Santana, after all, the guy has been nearly unhittable, but to waste a rare, rare excellent game by Chan Ho Park (who was awesome last night, by the way), is really a shame. Something tells me the Phils aren't getting too many more of those performances from Park.

Still, it's hard to blame the loss solely on the defense, seeing as the Phillies didn't hit the ball at all. Those things tend to happen when going up against 2-time Cy Young winners. Three hits ain't gonna cut it though, especially when Johan left after 7. I expect the Phillies to plaster Pedro Feliciano every time out. Last night, they didn't.



It always sucks losing to Mets, especially when the pitching staff combines to give up just two freakin hits. I hate the Mets so very much.

And to top things off, fucking PIttsburgh won in overtime too. I despise that city.



I have to admit though, just like the majority of Stanley Cup playoff games I've watched, that game last night was awesome. A minute in, bam, Ovechkin scores on a gift of an odd bounce off the boards. The Penguins tie it, then Evgeni Malkin, who has been lambasted in the first two games for being invisible, scores with just 5 minutes left in the game to give PIttsburgh a 2-1 lead.

Malkin seemed to be a man on a mission last night, standing out head and shoulders above both Crosby and Ovechkin. He was a wizard with the puck, routinely making the Capitals look like fools, and he easily could have had much more than one goal.



The only reason he didn't was the brilliant play, yet again, from Simeon Varlamov. This kid is just filthy. Kind of makes me wish I would have ventured out to Hershey to see him play earlier this year. After the first 10 minutes or so of the game, it was all Pittsburgh, but the Pens couldn't pull away because Varlamov was playing incredible.



Thanks to the young netminder, the Caps still had a chance, even after Malkin's goal, when Pittsburgh was called for a penalty with 2:28 remaining. And of course, the Caps scored, forcing overtime, as Nicklas Backstrom banked the puck of Fleury and in. Overtime yet again in these playoffs.

Unfortunately, Kris Letang scored 11:23 in on shot from the blue line that went off a Capitals defender and past Varlamov, who never even saw it. Awesome game, terrible outcome.



But as I keep on saying, these NHL playoffs are really awesome and should be on everyone's radar. Especially when the Celtics are blowing out the Magic in yet another boring NBA game. Unfortunately, I didn't make it through the Rockets-Lakers game, falling asleep at halftime with the score 57-57, but apparently the Lakers won 111-98. Wish i wasn't so damn old and could have stayed up to see it.

A Walk-Off, a Phenom and an Upset

Let's face it, the weekend was going pretty much as poorly as it could have been heading into yesterday. The Flyers gave away game 2 on Friday, blowing a 2-1 lead to lose in overtime, thanks in large part to Jeff Carter, who choked away the game by failing to bury a chance on a wide open net late in the third, which would have put the Flyers up 3-1, and then taking a penalty with about 4 minutes left on Jordan Staal—with the Penguins tying the game and forcing overtime on the ensuing power play.



It was not Carter's finest moment for sure, and I was infuriated with him. To make matters worse, the Phillies blew a 7-1 lead, losing 8-7, thanks to Cole Hamels surrendering the deep ball and Ryan Madson reverting back to the real Ryan Madson. Then the Phils followed it up with another Mets-like performance, with the bullpen failing to hang on and Brad Lidge suffering his first blown save in a Phillies uniform.



That sucked. Needless to say, hopes weren't all that high for yesterday's incredible Philadelphia triple-header. And things didn't look to be going any better when the Phillies fell behind 4-0, again, to the Padres. Thankfully, Chase Utley gave us a reason to cheer with his 2-run bomb to make 4-2, but I missed it and most of the Phils game to focus on the Flyers.

You all saw that game, so I don't want to rehash the whole thing, but man, where was that Flyers team the first two games? Yesterday, they played as good as you could have hoped and showed tremendous poise, coming right back after blowing an early 2-0 lead to recapture it and the game. Everyone on the ice wearing orange played with passion, and the entire team threw bone-crushing checks—even Jeff Carter hit a couple guys.

And Claude Giroux, Claude fucking Giroux. By now, it's no secret, Claude Giroux is my favorite Philadelphia Flyer. I love the guy. I really do. Can you remember the last time a Philadelphia rookie made you say, "Wow!" more than Giroux? He's just insane.



Minutes after the Penguins tied the game at 2, Danny Briere made a brilliant pass to Giroux, who scored his first NHL playoff goal to break the tie. A few minutes later, he made one of the most remarkable plays I've ever seen, busting his ass shorthanded down the ice to force Sergei Gonchar. Where most players would just tap on a player of Gonchar's skill and skate back, Giroux—a rookie, mind you—did much, much more than that, lifting the stick of Gonchar, stealing the puck, wheeling around the net, reversing, wheeling back around the other side and then laying a perfect pass to Simon Gagne, who buried the shorthanded goal to put the Flyers up 4-2. It was ridiculous.



I'm in complete awe of Claude Giroux. Call it a man crush. Call it what you like. Claude Giroux is by far my favorite player in hockey. His amazing play got the Flyers back on track, and a goal by fellow rookie Jared Ross and an empty-netter by Gagne has this thing back to 2-1. If the Flyers can bring that type of intensity to game 4, we may just have ourselves a series.

In the meantime, the Phils had mounted another comeback with a pinch-hit home run by Jimmy Rollins to make it 4-3, and during intermission of the Flyers game, the Phils were up in the bottom of the 9th. Ryan Howard fought off a tough pitch to loop a single, and up came Raul Ibanez. Ibanez, my steal of my fantasy baseball draft so far this season, has been tearing things up, and I told my dad, "He wants to hit a walk-off here." Sure enough, after working a 2-0 count, Raul sat on his pitch, got it, and BAM, walk-off city.



Very nice. After a great start to the day—a Phillies win and a Flyers win—I was all set to watch the Sixers get trounced by Orlando. Dwight Howard was a beast in the first half, but the Magic couldn't hit from beyond the arc and the Sixers were only down four.

Now, I'm not sure if any of you caught the halftime show, but it was the most ridiculous thing ever. Honestly, it was just Chris Webber and Kenny Smith yelling at each other, talking gibberish and not making a damn bit of sense. Usually I think TNT is awesome at NBA coverage and Kenny, EJ, Charles and Webber do a good job, but that was insanely stupid, childish and horrible. Completely unprofessional job by Webber, although he did seem to be defending the Sixers much more than anyone else.

Update: The Webber-Kenny video:



Then the Sixers came out and got routed in the 3rd quarter, falling behind by 18, and I almost left my cousin's house to drive home. But for some reason I stayed, and slowly, the Sixers began to come back. Andre Miller was superb, controlling the game, rebounding, dishing and doing some scoring. Louis Williams gave the Sixers a nice spark, and Andre Iguodala was the exactly what he's supposed to be—the Sixers' best player.

With a helping hand from Donyell Marshall, who hit some big shots and grabbed some boards, along with Theo Ratliff, who gave the Sixers great defense and nabbed a huge offensive rebound down the stretch, the Sixers came all the way back, and Andre Iguodala hit an impossible shot to steal game 1, 100-98.



It was a pretty amazing Sunday:

Carcillo Suspended, If Cammalleri Isn't, I Quit

Daniel Carcillo got suspended for tonight's game because of this (very end, 10:30 in):



Apparently winning a face-off is a suspendable action. Fine. You can argue he butted Talbot on purpose. The Flyers' and Carcillo's reputations precede them. I think it's bullshit, but whatever.

However, if the NHL does not suspend Calgary's Mike Cammalleri, I just might murder someone. Check out this cheap shot he put on Havlat last night:



You tell me which one was worse.

I Miss Harry … Links to Ease the Pain

Tonight, it will finally set in once the Phillies and Nationals get underway. For the first time since I've been on earth, the Phillies will play a game without Harry Kalas ever setting foot in the ballpark. On Monday, he was there beforehand. Tonight, he may not be there in person, but he sure as shit will be there in spirit, with every single one of those players, managers, coaches and fans down in Washington.



Thankfully, I won't have to endure much awkwardness with the Phillies broadcast because my main attention will be held by the Flyers-Penguins game. It is the Stanley Cup playoffs after all. But no doubt, I'll be thinking of Harry every time I check in to see how the Phils are doing.

Hopefully, some of these links can take your mind off the sadness for a little while …

-Not sure if you heard, but Greg Paulus visited Michigan to discuss playing quarterback. Yes, that Greg Paulus.



Well, here's a great post about that possibility:

See, Michigan football is a collection of twats and fags that think their shit don’t stink. Guess what, their shit stinks something fierce. It’d be one thing if the Michigan program, both players and fans, were as classy as they said they were, but they’re not. They’re a concoction of the worst aspects of fandom there can be, combining the ridiculous condescension of Pittsburgh Steeler fans with the blind, ignorant arrogance of Yankee fans while adding a dash of Red Sox Nation ass-baggery.

In short…they DESERVE Greg Paulus as their QB.

…

First off…Duke is the king of the douche pile. If you even consider going to Duke, you’re a balls-deep homo, no matter what. This is science, don’t try and argue it. If you’re a decent basketball player at Duke, that’s fine…you have my respect as a player but I’d still want to watch you fall down a spiral staircase littered with broken glass. Paulus wasn’t good, so he’s pretty much worthless as a human being because of his Duke connection and the fact that he slaps the floor like a little pussy.

But if he went to Michigan? Oh my…

…

Really though, I just wanna see Michigan suck even longer. Because fuck them, that’s why.

Truly, truly brilliant writing.

-Some Harry Memorial Tribute Info.

-The Flyers 2008-09 regular season, in video form:



-Ed makes his case for LeBron.



And yes, if you read that, you'll see correctly that I've been asked to partake in Ed the Sports Fan's 3-part MVP series. Ed had LeBron, Kenny has Dwyane Wade tomorrow, and yes, I was asked if I'd be interested in making the case for Kobe and accepted, meaning on Friday, head on over there and check out my argument for Kobe. Hate me now.

-I've really been enjoying Will Leitch's "Ten Humans of the Week" column, and this week's was particular excellent:

Harry Kalas was one of the last of his breed. Not just because he was a beloved broadcaster. But because he cared enough to stick around so long. People don't do that anymore. For better or worse.

-Chris Cooley has his own show:



-Deron Williams is pretty good I guess:



-Kanye + NBA = sweet commercial:



-Andre did have a sweet dunk last night:



-Jayson Stark, excellent as always, on Harry.

-When animals attack:



Or should I say, get attacked?

-Puck Daddy, usually on top of the hockey world, makes some tragic mistakes in this Flyers-Penguins preview, but, to be fair, it's not Wyshynski, it's Sean Leahy. For instance:

During the last month of the season, the line of Asham, Carcillo and Danny Briere have been a pleasant surprise for head coach John Stevens, with the two tough guys making room available for Briere.

I'd rather someone not write about the series at all than to write something as incredibly stupid as this. During the last month of the season there, Leahy, Danny Briere was anchored on a line with out-of-this-world talent Claude Giroux and Aaron Asham, with Carcillo occasionally spelling Asham on the line. Briere, Asham and Carcillo did not exist together. In fact, Carcillo has been playing very well of late alongside Darroll Powe, for the most part.

Also, he runs through this entire preview without mentioning Claude Giroux until the very end, meaning he hasn't paid remotely any attention to the Flyers since January. Horribly uniformed preview.

-A Michael Vick reality show? I thought Ookie already had a show.

-Spike Lee's Kobe documentary preview:



-And finally, just go over to The Zo Zone and enjoy.

I hate the Penguins, and the entire city of Pittsburgh, so very much.

LET'S GO FLYERS!!!!!

Eating With the Enemy

Yesterday, I did a very foolish thing, bringing three Rangers fans with me to the Flyers-Rangers game. I was just trying to be a nice brother, getting tickets for my brother-in-law and a couple members of his family. I really didn't think this one through.

Things started off well enough, with the six of us (my brother-in-law, his sister, his father, my sister, my dad and I) getting things kicked off in the Lexus Club, my first time down there.



With food and drink provided, the Lexus Club was pretty sweet, but due to some unfortunate lack of restraint on Saturday night, I wasn't exactly ready to go all out with the drinking yesterday. However, I did give it a go.

After a few beers and some grub, we made our way up to the seats, and the harassment began. My brother-in-law was wearing his Brian Leetch jersey, and there were fans yelling at him occasionally. Surprisingly, however, it wasn't that bad. Claude Giroux scoring just 5 and half minutes into the game certainly helped, and after Brandon Dubinsky, the notorious Flyer killer, tied it up, the Flyers went back on top with a power play tally by Jeff Carter.

But again, Dubinsky became the spoiler, tying it up. And we all know what happened next. The Flyers, playing for pretty much everything, let three leads slip through their hands yesterday. Three. All the Flyers needed to do was get one point to lock in to the four seed, meaning they'd have home ice in the first round against Pittsburgh. The Rangers, on the other hand, had no opportunity to move out their spot as the 7 seed, so they were playing for exactly nothing.

Yet the Flyers couldn't get it done. They lost 4-3 in regulation, meaning they go into the playoffs as the 5 seed, conceding home ice advantage to Pittsburgh. Now they have to face the defending Eastern Conference champs in the first round, starting out in Pittsburgh.



We all saw how that turned out last year. With the way the Flyers have been playing this month, and the way they played last night, I honestly don't think they'll get out of the first round. A month ago, there wasn't a team playing any better than the Flyers. Now, a team I thought once could easily make it to the Stanley Cup Finals if the defense held up just a little, I can't see beating a Pittsburgh team that has been playing its best hockey since the calendar turned to 2009.

It's as if the entire team has taken a step backwards in April. Marty Biron had regained his form to have a spectacular March. He was one of the hottest goalies in the NHL, and he looked again like the guy who picked up and help carry the Flyers to the Eastern Conference Finals last season.



Now, Biron is back in a lull, looking sloppy and off his game. Where in March he was swallowing every puck, leaving no rebounds, suddenly he can't smother a puck, leaving more rebounds than I can count sitting right out in front of the net.

Mike Richards, unquestionably the best two-way player on the team, has been playing the worst hockey of his career the past two to three weeks. He's been turning the puck over, making horrible decisions with the puck, trying to squeeze impossible passes through sticks, and really not hitting much, at least not as much as he usually does.



Yesterday, I'd argue Richards was the single worst forward for the Flyers. He had just an awful, awful game. I can't remember him throwing one hard hit, and he didn't bring any energy to the ice. While Gagne and Knuble were generating chances by themselves, Richards was still trying to make the impossible play, and he hurt the Flyers in that game. I love the guy. I really do. But as the captain, as the leader, as the face of the team, Mike Richards has to step his game back up, regain his form, if this team has any chance of making noise in the playoffs. If he plays like he has of late, the Flyers don't stand a chance.

And the Achilles heel of the team, the defense, has continued to be shaky. Aside from Kimmo Timonen, there isn't a guy back there who you know will make the right play more than not. Now, Braydon Coburn and Andrew Alberts have actually been pretty solid, but even they have had some breakdowns of late. But Matt Carle, for all his offensive talents, has been routinely costing the Flyers on defense by being overly aggressive on the rush.



In fact, on the Rangers' second goal, Matt Carle made a poor decision to pinch, leading to a 2-on-1 the other way, which resulted in the first shorthanded goal against the Flyers all year. In the last game of the regular season. While fighting for home ice advantage. Pathetic.



I like Carle. He's immensely talented, and once he gets in the offensive zone, his skills really shine. But he needs to play more disciplined. He lets too many guys get behind him, leading to great scoring chances like the one above. That can't happen in the playoffs.

At least Carle does provide offense though. Randy Jones, on the other hand, provides nothing. The guy has been an average player throughout his career, but a very strong 2007-08 season raised expectations a little too high for Randy. Last year, he really was a solid defenseman who was underappreciated. He played the best hockey of his career. But this season, he's regressed. Whether that's due to his injury in the preseason or his play simply coming back down to reality, Randy Jones is not the same player as last season.



In my opinion, he's been the Flyers' worst regular defenseman this year. He's a turnover machine, unwilling hitter and average passer at best. He doesn't really give you much on offense. And the more minutes he's played the past few games with Ryan Parent out/hurting, he's been struggling mightily, even though he's been paired with Timonen quite often.

Yesterday, he made some horrendous turnovers, and honestly, he doesn't look confident on the ice. Randy Jones needs to find his game from last season in a hurry, or Stevens has to cut back his ice time. One or the other.

It's sad to see the team playing so poorly going into the playoffs. At points this season, the Flyers looked nearly unbeatable. They have three legitimately frightening scoring lines, can score goals in bunches and play great special teams. That's a recipe for success if there ever is one. But they're also a team that gets lazy, stops forechecking, misfires on passes, turns the puck over and gives up entirely too many chances, and that won't get it done.

It's such a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde team. On a bright note, however, Daniel Carcillo has been playing well of late, and Darroll Powe has been a great surprise. Plus, Danny Briere and Claude Giroux have still been showing uncanny chemistry, and that duo is truly lethal. But the Flyers have to find a way to put it all together in a hurry, or it will be one and done with Pittsburgh.

At least the Phils won a series. That was nice.

The Shot Heard Round the Main Line

Really, is there anything to add to this?



Maybe not, but I'm going to throw in my 2 cents anyway. As you may very well know, I'm a man who has chastised Scottie Reynolds perhaps more than anyone. At times, he's a terrible decision maker, a streaky shooter and a player that can disappear for long stretches of time. Having that said that, there aren't many players in the nation with as much confidence in themselves as Scottie Reynolds has in himself, and when push comes to shove, he's a player you'd love to have on your team.

Sure, he only shot 4-11 on Saturday, but he went 7-7 from the line, scored 15 points, and oh by the way, hit the biggest shot for Villanova in the past 20-plus years. For all the shit I've given him, I have to admit, Villanova would be nowhere as good a team without him. As Jay Wright said, Scottie's won a lot of games for Villanova.

Oh and to that anonymous commenter who claims Jon Scheyer is better than Scottie Reynolds, uh, when's the last time Scheyer hit a game-winning shot to send his team to the Final Four? Oh yeah, never. In his last game, Scheyer went 3-18 and looked awful as his team got blown out. Scottie meanwhile scored 15 points in his last game and led his team to Detroit. Enough said.



Now Villanova takes on North Carolina for a chance to play in the title game, and this one's going to be a battle. No one is playing better than Ty Lawson right now, and the Tar Heels have had a relatively easy time getting this far. However, no one is playing any better team defense than Nova right now, so this one should be a doozy. Oh, and so no one can accuse me of fence-sitting, I'm openly going to be rooting for Carolina in the game, just as did in the infamous Allen Ray "walk" game. Feel free to attack me for doing so, but as I've stated before, I root for all Big 5 teams, but Temple is my No. 1 college basketball team and UNC is 1A. That's just the way it is.

But no matter who wins, I thoroughly look forward to this game. Is it Saturday yet?

What? It's only Monday? Fuck.

Colonel Link

Last night was a good night. Not only did Villanova win, but Pittsburgh lost. And when Pittsburgh loses, the rest of the world wins. You can quote me on that. It's a Reverend Paul Revere special.

Anyway, the Sixers won as well. So did St. Joe's. And North Carolina. Temple ... not so much. But still, it was a nice little Wednesday. A Wednesday, some might say (me), worthy of some links today.

-So how's that Elton Brand signing working out? Uh, apparently not that good. Rumor has it the Sixers are willing to trade Brand if anyone is interested.



Something tells me that $82 million contract, gimpy knee and, you know, complete failure on the court this season may deter any potential trade partners. Just a guess.

-Seriously, these people have the chance to enjoy a sixth Super Bowl victory? Really?



There is no God. Oh wait, yes there is.



-Apparently, China loves the Mavericks.



-Andrew Bynum fucked up Gerald Wallace last night.



Wallace suffered a broken rib and collapsed lung as a result. Not good.

-My boy Brandon Jennings tops SLAM's point guard draft prospects for 2009.

-Jameer helps Dwight Howard prepare for the dunk contest:



-Oh yeah, Duke lost, and Al-Farouq Aminu did this:



-Yao, meet Andre:



-Awesome buzzer-beater. Oddly, no reactions from the players.



And seriously, Pittsburgh is trash.

What a Way to Go Out

When I got word that Villanova was taking on Pitt at the Spectrum for the last college basketball ever in the building, I jumped all over the chance to get tickets, and boy am I ever glad I did.



First off, I'd like to start out by saying, if ever I had any doubt, my hatred for Pittsburgh is still quite alive and well. For some ungodly reason, the person in charge of hooking Toonces, silver fox and I up for tickets decided to put us in the Pitt section upstairs behind the basket. And let me tell you, Pitt fans are the worst people alive, and one jackass in particular got on our nerves.

I called this "man" twinkle toes because every time Pitt made a basket, this horrendously huge douchebag would stand up, do a little dance that involved flailing his wrists in a very dainty way, and gloat as though it was the game-winning bucket in the National Title game. What. A. Scrote. He was the embodiment of why I hate Pittsburgh, and we completely abused this jokester. At one point, he asked what school we went to, and Toonces told him Penn State. He then told us he never heard of it, as if that was some sort of a mock. Honestly, they're smart out west. They're in Philadelphia, 5 hours away, but they've never heard of Penn State, which is two hours away? Good one.

Anyway, the game started off on the wrong foot. No. 3 Pitt scored the first basket and jumped out to a 19-9 lead. Needless to say, it was infuriating in our section, being surrounded by the inbred scum from that horrid, horrid city. Scottie Reynolds was playing like he has the past few games, which is to say, not very well. He was awful.

Thankfully, Reggie Redding, Corey Fisher and Dante Cunningham picked up the slack, and Nova fought back to make a game of it. When the Wildcats took their first lead late in the first half, the place was going nuts. It was a great atmosphere.

And then in the second, Nova came to play for real. In a back and forth battle, Dante asserted himself, coming up with two huge, insane blocks in the first and then getting DeJuan Blair and the rest of the Panthers in foul trouble early in the second.



Dante was a beast, but Pitt hung tough. Lavance Fields and Sam Young kept the Panthers in it, and our aggravation with the Pittsburgh fans continued. Then, Scottie Reynolds decided to show up. He hit a big three, then another and really started to play under control. After making terrible decisions forcing the issue in the first, he slowed things down and took care of the ball. As a result, Nova looked more competent on offense and more in control. And Redding, who had a very good first half, continued his fine play in the second, providing a strong lift with Reynolds in the second half.



In the closing minutes, Villanova really amped up the D and shut down Pitt to pull out the 67-57 upset. And while Dante was the most dominant player on the floor and Redding the most consistent, Dwayne Anderson and Shane Clark were the unsung heroes of the game. Anderson, I shit you not, came out at the halftime shootaround and just stood at the three-point line, behind the pro line, and didn't miss a single shot. Then, when called upon early in the second, he buried a three that really swung the momentum. He played his usual strong defense and really was integral in the win.

And Shane was simply a rebounding machine, especially in the second half. The lanky senior was crashing the boards hard, coming up with a few huge offensive rebounds, giving Villanova precious extra possessions.



After struggling to hit their free throws throughout the game, bringing back memories of the loss to Louisville, Nova--specifically Reynolds and Redding--hit their freebies down the stretch and held on for the win. It was desperately needed for Nova, who sat at 3-3 in the Big East before the victory and had lost all four of its games against ranked opponents. Well, not anymore.

Nova finally got a defining win that hopefully it can build on. But more importantly, they closed college basketball at the Spectrum with a win for Philadelphia. And best of all, it was against those cretins from the retarded side of the state.

I truly, honestly despise Pittsburgh and everyone in it. Man, that was a satisfying win.

Abraham Linking

No time for writing. Onto the links.

-A roundup of Phillies blogs from WSBGMs, with a shoutout to yours truly.

-The Best Harry Kalas impression ever.



-Giants fans are upset, dumb.



-Myron Rolle decides the NFL can wait.



-Monty Gee back and better than ever, from Philly.com.



-Former 76er and current Timberwolves forward Rodney Carney is good at bowling. Too bad the Sixers drafted him to, you know, play basketball (via The Big Lead).

-Finally, romanwarhelmet admits the Giants do indeed suck.

-I watched the Lousiville-Notre Dame game, and the Oklahoma-Texas game as well, and this was by far the highlight of the night:



-In UNC's loss to Wake, this was pretty nasty too:



-Derek Lowe signs with the Braves.

-Jonny Flynn, ridiculous:



-If the Cardinals-Eagles NFC Championship has you angry, seeing as they both only had 9 wins the regular season, go watch soccer, asshole.

-Five reasons the Penguins are struggling. Really, there's only one: Because Pittsburgh sucks balls.

-Jordan. Great. All that stuff.













-More Hardball, a new endeavor by GM-Carson of We Should Be GM's. Check it out.

-Maybe Vidal Hazelton should have just gone to Penn State.

-Full-court shots are sweet and funny.





-Say it ain't so, Mo. Maurice Evans is declaring too. Fuck.

The Flyers host the Penguins tonight in what has become a very, very heated rivalry. Although, the Pens kinda suck right now. Let's hope they don't regain their form from last season tonight.

LET'S GO BIRDS!!!!!!!!!

Chain Links

I came across one the best posts I've ever read, which inspired me to ignore my work duties and find some more links.



-First, let's give you some of Captain Caveman's brilliant words:

The Steelers are the cancer of football teams: it usually wins, it’s a depressing pain in the ass, and anyone who cheers for it is an asshole.

Go ahead and count me as Pittburgh Steeler Hater Number One. I fucking LOATHE the Steelers. I despise them far more than any other franchise on the planet. And that’s saying a lot, because if the Italian national soccer team’s chartered jet collided with the Yankees’ team plane, I’d happily burn my penis jerking off on the flaming wreckage.

…

No, what makes the Steelers the most loathsome team in all of sports are their dickface fans. The front-running fucks who fill up sports bars in their jerseys all over the country. Funny how Pittsburgh is one of the smallest markets in the NFL, penned in regionally by teams from Cleveland, Cincinnati, and Philadelphia, and yet its fans are miraculously strewn all over the country in large numbers. Why, it’s almost as if most of them only became die-hard fans because the team is so successful!

…

FUCK YOU, Steelers fans. Fuck your shitty city, fuck your shitty field, fuck your excellent football team, and FUCK YOU.

The purveyors of this site couldn't have said it better ourselves.

-Asante Samuel and Brain Dawkins were named to the Pro Bowl as reserves. Why? I have no idea.





-My boy Antone gives Dionte Christmas some love.

-Funny quote Phil Dawson:

When asked how it felt to eclipse the franchise record for most field goals in a season, Phil Dawson, kicker of the 4-10 Cleveland Browns, said: "There's an old saying back in Texas that says, 'You know that white speck on top of chicken poop? It's still chicken poop.'"

-Shawn Marion is a perfect fit for the Cavs.

-Nate Robinson went off last night.



-T-Mac had a triple-double last night.

-SLAM has a new design. I'd love to link to some shit, but I can't find anything on there yet. It's too early to really judge, but I don't think I like it.

-For more redesigns, Deadspin's sucks while Hugging Harold Reynolds' is cool.

-Visual evidence of Starbury attending the Knicks-Lakers game in LA as a fan.



-Inside the Paterno contract negotiations.

-I just love this headline: "Danny Briere continues MVP season for Flyers"

-Shoals talks of the age limit and the rising of the point guard. Oh, and he gives us this:



I love Josh Smith. There, I said it. Wish we had him instead of Brand and/or Iguodala.

-Kevin Newsome is awesome.


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-The Philly.com sports page is loaded with good articles today: The Siran Stacy tragedy, McNabb's future in Philadelphia, Bill Conlin's take on Ibanez and Park, Some love for Jason Avant.

I was fine with Sunday

I can honestly say that I cannot remember an Eagles game that was as satisfying as yesterday's win. I hate Pittsburgh. I really do. Those people, well they are not my kind of people. They are dumb, smell funny, look stupid, have a penchant for saying just idiotic things, and their city is just not very good. So to be in the Linc, and have so many of those d-bags walking around, sitting NEXT to and behind me, and to watch them suffer in person was just great.



I also would like to say, shame on all the Eagles fans who sold and sell their tickets to away team fans. What is wrong with you people? Why buy tickets if you are just going to sell them to assholes? Kill yourselves. I have a cousin who has tickets next to our season tickets. The fucking asshole has not been to a game in two years and sells his tickets to someone different every game. He sold them to 4 Pittsburgh fans for yesterday's game. I don't like my cousin. I don't really consider him family. I hope I never talk to him again. And I'm a hundred percent serious about that.

As for the game itself, I love defense. I love blitzing. I love Brian Dawkins. They blitzed from everywhere. Big Gay Ben did not know where they were coming from next. The linebackers, safeties and linemen were amazing. Jim Johnson looked like the smartest man alive. Brian Dawkins gave everyone who said he was old and finished a big FUCK OFF. To be a safety and play the way he does, with total disregard for his own personal well being, and to be 34 years old is incredible. If anyone ever sees Brian Dawkins on the street or in a restaurant, they should just walk up to him and thank him for being alive. That's the truth.



That is a big win against a team who was supposed to be one of the best teams in the NFL. The Eagles did it with only Booker and Buckhalter for almost the entire game as their running backs. Also, I would like to give Andy Reid credit. With your team up by 6 points with under three minutes to go in the game and in field goal position, you RAN THE BALL three times in a row. It could be the first time that has ever happened. You needed to run the ball and you did. I was simply amazed.

That Eagles' victory, accompanied with a huge Phillies win and a Mets loss made Sunday, a pretty nice little Sunday. Also, the U.S. beat Europe for the Ryder Cup, which is the most exciting golf you could ever watch. It's just something about the U.S. beating Europe that makes it that much more exciting.

I would also like to point out that USC started a defensive back that was arrested for a felony resisting arrest last week against Ohio St. Also, 41 Notre Dame students were cited for underage drinking including two football players, and some lacrosse and soccer players. But it's no big deal because it's not Penn State. I can only say so many times how I'm sick and tired of people complaining about Joe Paterno not controlling his program when it happens everywhere. These are 18-23 year old kids on their own for the first time in their lives with a bunch of people their own age. Of course they're are going to act like idiots. Not one coach in the country has complete control over their program. Everyone acts dumber in a group of people. Mob rules every time and the mob is always an idiot. All I'm saying is Joe Paterno is the all-time wins leader in college football again and anyone who questions his control over his program should just shut the fuck up already. He has earned the right to do whatever he wants. He made that program and he's not going to ruin it.

Pittsburgh, Philadelphia's Retarded Cousin

All right, enough of this feel-good basketball stories, Phillies recaps and hilarious Cowboy fan-related thefts shit, it's football season. And Sunday, those inbred hicks from the wrong side of the state are invading in an attempt to rape and pillage the site of the Declaration of Independence's birth.



I, for one, won't stand for any of that shit. I'm not sure if you've heard, but we're not particularly fond of Pittsburgh in these parts. At all. It's an awful place with awful people who don't even have enough imagination to change up the colors of their teams. Plus, yellow is fucking gay. Like really, really gay. And that shit is yellow, not gold. This is gold.



This is yellow (and what most Pittsburgh fans ride to school).



Now, you tell me which one looks like the Steelers' (and Penguins' and Pirates') color.



Yeah, looks yellow to me.

So as those yellow motherfuckers from Shitsburgh come east, I beg the Eagles to pull their shit together this weekend and send those Midwesterners back home with their tails between their legs. That would be sweet, however, I am not naive enough to think this game will be easy.

On the contrary. Coming off a heartbreaking loss to the Cowboys, the Eagles face just as formidable a foe this week in the Steelers. And while I surely cannot stand Pittsburgh, their fans and team pale in comparison to Dallas when it comes to my venom. As bad as Pittsburgh is, it looks like paradise compared to Dallas and its fans see almost like annoying friends rather than the retarded racists they are. But I digress.

The Steelers, with Tom Brady and Charlie Weiss rehabbing together somewhere near San Francisco (I'm guessing, you see, because Brady is from there and they are gay! Get it?), are the favorites to win the AFC. And for good reason. They have a Super Bowl quarterback who, despite his mental handicap, is actually a very efficient player. Their Asian Midget of a wide receiver can flat-out ball, and Santonio Holmes has a lot of um … talent. Plus, they have one of the best backs in the land in Willie Parker, a solid defense and a black head coach! Very progressive of you Pittsburgh.



The good news is Roethlisberger is playing with a bum shoulder while Donovan is healthy. The bad news is the Birds may be without Shawn Andrews. Thankfully Max Jean-Gilles got a ton of reps in the preseason and played pretty well.

The thing I'm really looking for here is to have Jim Johnson unleash a lethal blitz attack, something he inexplicable neglected to do Monday night. Roethlisberger is hurt. The Eagles should do everything their power to make sure he gets hurt even more. And you know what, they should have 10 guys in the box on every play.

Now, I know the Birds gave up some big plays Monday in the passing game, but the Steelers aren't quite the Cowboys. Heath Miller is good, but he's not Jason Whitten. Holmes and Ward are very talented, but they can't approach T.O.'s ability. Assuming J.J. plays Lito much, much more than he did Monday (which he f-ing should), the Birds could bring Sheldon and Dawkins up to the line, have Brown cover Miller, and man up Asante and Lito on Ward and Holmes, since neither receiver presents any size problems. That way, the Birds can bring everyone up to the line of scrimmage and focus most the attention on Willie Parker and company, and take every opportunity possible to blitz and hit Roethlisberger.

And the way the Birds have been scoring, they should have no problems putting up points, especially at home. So, Mr. Johnson, the ball is in your court. Show me and the rest of the world that you haven't lost your touch, that opposing offenses haven't figured you out. Bring the kitchen sink, hit that retarded Ohioan and play three freakin corners like you said you would.

Oh yeah, and send those cousin-marrying Pittsburgh fans back west with a little punch in the stomach (their preferred method of abortion by the way).

Pittsburgh Sucks

I really don't have to add anything else to this since it pretty much sums up the place, but since I am bored, what the hell.

I spent this past weekend in "the Burgh" as those goofy accented midwesterners put it. Let's just say that I am not in love with that place. It is about the fattest city I've ever seen (Ed Note: I find it hard to believe Pittsburgh people are fatter than Philadelphia, but they certainly do suck more). I felt, being of average stature, out of place. 3-4 neck rolls was the norm. Men with breasts the size of Dolly Parton. Women with legs as wide as my waist. Amazing. It was truly amazing.



You may ask "How did it smell?" The answer of course is that it was putrid. I don't know if they don't shower on the gay side of the state or what, but just about everybody in that town smelled like used gym socks and/or jockstraps. I did manage to spit on Jeannette, the home town of Terrelle Pryor. What a fag. Let's see what happens when Sean Lee comes back next year and absolutely crushes him.



Oh yeah, I got stuck in their loud dirty airport for 3 hours. Thanks Pittsburgh.