Monday, February 16, 2009

Etiquette is Dead

Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you I'm not the politest person in the world. In fact, many of them will tell you I'm an asshole. Really, they're mistaken. I'm not the asshole, they are.

Anyway, asshole or not, I like to think I have a little bit of respect for my fellow human being when it comes to my actions in public and at work. Apparently, no one else feels that way, because just minutes ago I discovered that any semblance of social etiquette has been forever killed.

You see, I just was in the bathroom taking a piss when a cell phone rang. Turns out, it was the phone of a guy who was taking a shit. He proceeded to answer his phone, while taking a dump at work, in a public bathroom, and have a conversation with whoever was on the other end. At work. In the bathroom. While he was shitting. And I was pissing.

Well, I have one word for that guy: DIE! Die, die, die, die! Under no circumstance should anyone, ever, be talking on the phone while taking a shit in the public bathroom at work. Save that for the home. Like I do.

Poop is funny and telling someone who calls that your shitting at that very moment is even funnier. But not at work. Honestly, what is wrong with people?

BallHype: hype it up!


  1. Wow...that's crazy...funny as shit though (no pun intended)

  2. What are opinions on shitting and texting (I like to space out on the toilet)?

  3. 100 percent OK to text. Just keep it on silent in public. And pooping and chatting is great ... just not at fucking work. Show some god damn consideration for your co-workers for fuck's sake.

  4. Hottest Fans of the NL East?

    More Hardball wants to know who has the hottest fans in baseball. We'll be running a set of posts over the following weeks featuring images of each teams' hotties, with a voting poll to crown a champion. We've crowned champs of the AL East (BoSox), Central (ChiSox), West (Angels), and AL Wild Card (A's) already, and we're now moving on to the National League...NL East. Sticking true to Major League Baseball's roots, there will be an eight team playoff system where the winners of each division square off with the addition of a wild card team to determine who wins the pennant and represents each league in the World Series of Hotness.


  5. Haha Carson you homersaxual...

    Honestly though, how on Earth is it rude to your coworkers? Is it any different from talking to someone else in the bathroom? Are you just supposed to be silent when you're dropping a duke?

  6. Yes. I think talking in the bathroom is obscenely rude, especially when you are shitting. I'm trying to piss. I don't want to hear about dropping your daughter off at work. Save that for the hallways.