Monday, February 23, 2009

Stubborn Stupid Silly Saturday

So … Saturday completely sucked. The Flyers lost. The Sixers lost. North Carolina lost. And two of the three ended in horrible fashion.



I've said it before, and I'll say it again: MARTY, "DON'T EVER COME OUT OF YOUR NET EVER AGAIN TO TRY AND PLAY THE PUCK! YOU ARE BY FAR THE WORST GOALTENDER IN HOCKEY AT STICKHANDLING, AND YOUR DECISION-MAKING IS ATROCIOUS. HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO YOU NEED TO TURN THE PUCK OVER TO REALIZE, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST LET YOUR DEFENSEMEN DO THE PUCKHANDLING?!? FUCK!"

Yeah, so, you know, please just stay in the net no matter what Marty. That was just a devastating way to end the game. After the Flyers fell down 3-1 to a desperate Pittsbrgh team, Mike Richards decided enough was enough and scored yet another shorthanded goal—his 3rd in three games—to bring the Flyers back within one, using the old Peter Forsberg backhanded five-hole shootout move.



Seriously, Richards' shorthanded play is just getting ridiculous at this point. Anyway, his goal sparked the Flyers, who tied the game on a goal by Braydon Coburn. Then they gave the lead right back to the Penguins and the comeback looked to be for naught.

Except, you know, the Flyers' top line of Richards, Gagne and Knuble continued its torrid stretch, combining on a tic-tac-toe goal that Knuble calmly deposited to tie it again. After falling behind by two, battling back, surrendering another goal and then tying it again, the game was incredibly entertaining. For the NHL's sake, it's a shame this game wasn't nationally televised, because it really was awesome: physical, high-scoring, intense, fights, and a true sense of hatred between the squads.

And then Marty happened. Unbelievable. And after battling back not once but twice in the third period, they Flyers lost because Marty is a fucking moron. Really, he had no reason to even come out, although he got the puck. Dupuis had a step on the defense, but he wasn't coming on a clear breakaway. He had pressure on him, and he wouldn't have had the easiest time getting a good shot off. Oh, and Marty absolutely blows at playing the puck, so there's that.

What an awful way to lose.

And the day didn't get any better. For you see, I then watched North Carolina go the way of the Mets and choke away an easy victory. Yes, I said a game at Maryland should have been an easy victory, and I mean it. The Terps suck. North Carolina has national title hopes. The Heels should be able to beat this Maryland team anywhere any time. But on Saturday they didn't. In fact, they allowed Greivis Vasquez to score the first 16 points for Maryland and surrendered a triple-double to that herpes-faced douche.



I detest that man so very much. And I hated that game. Vasquez kept Maryland close early on, but UNC took a 9-point lead into half and then built it up to 16 early in the second. Easy win, right?

No, it wasn't. You wanna know why? Because no one in a Tar Heels jersey, with the exception of Ty Lawson, seemed to give two shits down the stretch. Well, not exactly. Danny Green was playing pretty damn well too, but he got in foul trouble and things went to shit for UNC when he took a seat on the bench.



In all honesty, everyone else on North Carolina sucked. Tyler Hansbrough kept getting blocked and traveling, only he wasn't getting to the foul line or getting away with his feet-shuffling. Wayne Ellington disappeared per usual, as did Deon Thompson. Ed Davis got no touches, and North Carolina decided to stop guarding the three-point line.

And while Vasquez was having a record-setting day and Cliff Tucker was bombing away from three, Roy Williams just sat back and watched it all unfold. I know it's commonplace for Roy to let his team play through the tough stretches and not call timeouts, but about 5 times late in the that second half, you could see the game was slipping away unless UNC woke up. Yet Roy refused to call a timeout, calm down his troops and come away with the win. Instead, North Carolina fell apart, and Maryland took it to OT. And again, in OT, Lawson was the only one even trying.



But that jerk-face Vasquez just wanted it more. Maryland wanted it more. And Greivis put forth an incredible performance. 35 points, 11 rebounds and 10 assists. Damn. Couldn't have happened to a bigger arrogant asshole. What a horrible day this was shaping up to be.

But oh, the losses didn't end there. As I flipped over to watch the final minutes of the Sixers-Heat game, I noticed that Andre Miller was going off … but he's no Dwyane Wade. Wade was the best player on the court, and he willed Miami to a 97-91 win. Three games, three losses. What a horrible Saturday.

Luckily, Temple and Villanova won yesterday to salvage something of the weekend, but man, Saturday sure did suck.



BallHype: hype it up!

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