Never Leave the Jesus

Thad, my man, I love you, but come on, you gotta know, YOU NEVER, EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE LEAVE JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH when you're up by 2 with seconds to play! NEVER!



I know you're a youngster there, Thad, but come on, you aren't a rookie anymore. Somebody needs to Salmi-strate all over your ass. That was the worst defensive play I've seen all year. Everyone in the world knows no matter what, you never leave quite possibly the greatest shooter of all time open from three when you're up two. Shit, a retarded monkey knows that.

That game was supremely disappointing. It's not often you're given a chance to face the Celtics without Kevin Garnett, and when you do, you have to take advantage. Last night, the Sixers had the chance to do just that but didn't get it done.

Sure, there were some highlights, like a sick alley-oop dunk from Andre Miller that Iguodala threw down over Tony Allen and the other oop Miller tossed to Speights, and of course, the entire run by Speights.



But at the end of that game, the Sixers became a flat-out dumb basketball team. Paul Pierce—who had an excellent game with a game-high 29 points and set up Ray Allen for the game-winning three—picked up his 5th foul with a couple minutes left. He was guarding Iguodala, the most athletic player on the Sixers and their leading scorer.

Naturally, what any smart basketball team would do is feed the man Pierce was guarding, in this case Andre Iguodala, and have him attack Pierce—either to foul him out or hope he offers little resistance for fear of fouling out. So what do the Sixers do? The next two trips down the court, Iguodala didn't even touch the ball. First, Louis Williams decided to drive to the hoop early in the shot clock and throw one up in traffic. The next trip, Thad decided to drive and came up empty.

Finally, the Sixers gave the ball to Dre on their second to last possession, and with Pierce on him, he hit the go-ahead jumper. Great coaching there DiLeo. What a freakin joke.

Also, seriously, Elton Brand, you suck. If ever there was any question, now it is abundantly clear: Never, ever, ever trust a player from Duke. Nothing like spending $82 million on a player who can only manage 8-plus minutes on the floor against the defending champs—with no Garnett. Great investment. Can we get a mulligan on that one? Josh Smith anyone?