Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The AL is a Bunch of Babies

We all remember last year when Hank Steinbrenner told the National League to grow up after Yankees starting pitcher Chien-Ming Wang got hurt running the bases in interleague play against the Astros.

He bitched and moaned that the NL should get with the times and institute the designated hitter. All this because his pitcher got hurt by literally running. Boo-fucking-who. A player got hurt. Time to change the whole system.

Turns out, old Hank isn't alone. Last night, with the Phils' overworked bullpen imploding yet again, reminding us all that this is certainly not 2008 anymore, in the 8-3 extra-inning loss to Toronto, Scott Downs, the Blue Jays' closer, got hurt batting and now Cito Gaston is crying about it:

"I know that a lot of people like this interleague play," Gaston said, "I know it's great for the fans and all that, but that's what happens. My guys don't take batting practice every day. They don't run. So things like this are going to happen until somebody wakes up and says, 'Look, let's just play [with] the DH all the time or call it off.' "

Now, maybe I'm a little crazy, but here's a novel idea, Cito: How about you have your guys actually take batting practice and run every day? Then maybe they wouldn't get hurt swinging a bat or jogging around the base paths. Fucking christ.

Swinging the bat isn't even where Wang or Downs got hurt. Wang was hurt running the bases, and Downs "suffered an injury to his left foot pushing out of the batter's box while grounding out in the top of the 10th inning."

These guys got hurt RUNNING! Not hitting. Not by fouling off a pitch on their foot. By fucking RUNNING! Excuse me if I think Major League Baseball players should be able to run, at least a little bit. Frankly, they should be able to hit, at least a little bit, too — pitcher or not.

Steinbrenner tells the NL to grow up, but it's the American League managers that are acting like babies. Baseball is about running, hitting, fielding and pitching. One of the greatest parts of the game growing up is the fact that everyone gets to field and everyone gets to hit. That's the foundation of baseball. The AL has taken away that joy of the game for two players every game. Now, there is always a batter who never takes the field and a pitcher who never takes a cut. That's some pussy-ass shit right there.

Gaston goes on:

"Interleague play is certainly good for the fans," he said more than five hours before Downs' injury, "so you can't bark on it. I just think they should have the DH no matter where you're playing. Because it's a little bit unfair, I think, for American League teams. And it's unsafe for the [AL] pitchers."

So it's unfair and unsafe, huh? Actually, it's completely fair. When you play the National League in a National League ballpark, you play by their rules. When you play an American League team in an American League stadium, you play by AL rules. That's the definition of fair. Equal for both parties. But now, you're saying the AL rules should always apply when AL teams are involved, no matter what. That's the definition of unfair, asshole.

As far as safety goes, it's not more unsafe for AL pitchers than NL pitchers. It's just that NL pitchers are more used to it because they do it every day by taking batting practice. AL pitchers should give it a try. Instead of crying about, how about you just shut up and play ball.

BallHype: hype it up!


  1. Reverend, I like what you are saying here. The DH a garbage position. Its not real. That should be abolished not the other way around.

  2. The DH, while a newer invention seems specifically invented to help the fraternity of major leaguers stay as small as possible; this way the owners save money by not having to keep converting so many minor league investments in to their most expensive manifestation, and getting to keep names that might sell a few tickets at the two most important spots for non-baseball fans with money (pitching and hitting), and maybe get a fans talking about something beside whatever latest scandal is hitting right at the integrity of the game itself (these moralist reporters tell me).