Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Hating People for No Good Reason … and Links

Generally, the people I work with seem like very well-intentioned, genuinely nice people. For the most part, I get along with them and even, occasionally, will go grab a beer with a few of them after work or at lunch.

But then there's the other side of me, the side that really, truly despises a few of my co-workers, and honestly, there's no good reason for it. There are two people in particular, who are actually in my group, that I just can't stand. Really, I'm not sure completely why. Both of them seem reasonable nice. But for some reason, every time I see them, I just want to punch them right in the face.

In fact, the more I think about it, the one deserves it. This individual always tries to drag everyone into a pointless conversation about stupid shit while I'm just hitting trying to sit here and work (or avoid work, whichever the case may be). Hey, lady, shut the fuck up already! You're weird. You're ugly. And no one wants to talk to you. Damn.

The other person, well, that individual really doesn't deserve my disdain, but it's there anyway. Perhaps it's the way this person looks. Has to be. That's why I hate a bunch of other people in this office I don't even know. Especially the old, fat guy who always talks in the bathroom very loudly and makes very odd, disturbing noises when he takes a piss. Fuck that guy. Die already.

Anyway, let's make with the links …

-I'm really digging the Today in Philly Sports History work Andrew is doing at The700Level. Well, 31 years ago today, the 76ers drafted Maurice Cheeks.

Cheeks, who won an NBA title and is among the all-time leaders in assists and steals, deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Someone make this happen.

-Black men can jump:

-This 8-year-old got game:

-Gee, I would have never guessed it: Scottie Reynolds is returning to Villanova for his senior season.

-Something tells me Wilt didn't really drive this car:

-Well, well, well, looks like the Phillies are finally taking my advice and placing Brad Lidge on the 15-day DL to get his sore knee in check, and, presumably, his shit back together.

All right, Ryan Madson. Let's see what you got. Oh, and Paul Bako will be taking Lidge's place on the active roster for the time being.

-Well Sixers fans, we got our shooter.

According to NBA sources the team is expected to announce this afternoon a deal sending sharp-shooter Jason Kapono to the Philadelphia 76ers for bruising forward Reggie Evans.

Makes sense. With the emergence of Marreese Speights along with the return of Elton Brand and my movie buddy Jason Smith, not to mention Sammy Dalembert still around, Reggie Evans was more than dispensable. And in the process, the Sixers got not just a good shooter, but one of the best pure shooters in the NBA.

Welcome to Philadelphia, Jason. Guess this means the Sixers are definitely drafting a point guard now.

-A brilliant take on the fact that Jimmy Rollins, despite sucking worse than Pat Burrell at his lowest point at the plate, leads the NL All-Star voting at short:

Who cares if right now he’s the worst short stop in the league when it comes to swinging a bat? Who cares if he’s dead last among shortstops in OBP (.261!), third from last in SLG (. 322), only has 77 total bases so far with only 12 walks and 27 strikeouts? Who cares that in spite of his awful, awful performance there isn’t another shortstop with as many plate appearances him? Who cares about any of this bullshit? Not me.

Who cares that the Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez leads him in every meaningful offensive statistical category including HRs, 2Bs, BBs, BA, OBP, SLG–even RBI and runs if you care about that? Who’s ever heard of Hanley Ramirez? Not us. His name sounds like a trendy micro brew. We drink Bud Light in America, am I right?

Seriously, this is why fans should not be allowed to decide anything. Fans are stupid, horrible people. And there are moronic, jerk, asshole people I know, like Arkkansas Fred, who just vote for Phillies or their favorite players, not guys who deserve it. People who only vote for players on their favorite team are fucking awful human beings who should be hanged.

Chase Utley and Raul Ibanez are the only two Phillies worthy of starting. Maybe Carlos Ruiz, but only because the National League catchers suck collective donkey balls. Jimmy Rollins shouldn't even be allowed to watch the All-Star game on television, let alone get to be a part of the team, especially as a God damn starter. You people make me sick.

-Fred Smoot wants to a professional bowler.

I used to hate Fred Smoot so much because I thought he was incredibly overrated, hyped himself up to be better than he actually is and of course, he played/plays for the Redskins. But the older the both of us get, the more I love Fred Smoot. He's hilarious, seems to really enjoy the game, and now, everyone knows he is nowhere as good as he and everyone else once thought he was.

"75 percent of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Fred Smoot."

And tonight, for your view pleasure, there's a whole heap of games to watch, overlapping into a very nice little sports night. It begins as J.A. Happ takes on Johan at 7:10 in ShittyCitifield for the beginning of a three-game set between the Phils and Mets. Then, the Red Wings will try to close out the Pens in game 6 of the Stanley Cup Finals in Pittsburgh starting at 8, and game 3 of the NBA Finals begin at 9 in Orlando.

And seriously people, stop fucking voting for Jimmy Rollins. It's not right.

BallHype: hype it up!


  1. See this has proven once again why the fans should not vote for allstars. it should be managers and players doing it. Also how the fuck in that gorilla shit eating Manny still 5th in voting for NL outfield. He's barely played before racking up his 50 game suspension for FAILING a drig test. This fuck needs to be dropped from the ballot and taken out back and shot in the head multiple times.

  2. Fan voting is indeed retarded, but you have to have the fans involved somehow. They/We are the reasons for the game being what it is. The managers/players should just restrict the players youre allowed to vote for. Get rid of Manny, Jimmy, and fucking Cory Hart off the ballot.

    Also retract what I said about Lidge the other day, although I said he should pitch through it "as long as hes healthy". And Rollins did kinda shut me up with his game tonight too. Although his average seems to be .400+ when he bats 6th or 5th. But he did have a great AB leading off the 9th. Who knows

  3. Fans being able to vote for The All-Star Game is The Devil. It's just as bad in basketball, too.

    BTW, this article made me laugh out loud at least four times up here in the office. Muy bueno, my brother.

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