Thursday, June 18, 2009

Paterno Jumping for Joy on Repaired Leg

In case you haven't heard, the NCAA denied Florida State's appeal and is still seeking to force the Florida State football program to vacate 14 wins — thus taking away 14 victories from Bobby Bowden, who with those wins, sits just one behind Joe Paterno in all-time victories.

Well, despite what he may say on camera, you have to figure Paterno is ecstatic to go from a one-game lead to a 15-game lead.

In fact, Spencer Hall heard he gave Bobby a call:

Paterno: Nah, but I appreciate the concern, Bobby. Hey, look at me, I’m just talkin’ all over the place here. Just wanted to let you know that I’m real sorry to hear about the NCAA shooting down your appeal to vacate the wins. I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship, as would sit fifteen games behind me on the all-time wins list, and that’s with your wins from Samson College throw in there. (giggles)

Bowden: THAT’S SAM-FAHD, you dago sonofabitch! It’s one of the finest academic institutions in Buh-mingham, Alabama!

Paterno: I’m sure they gotta lot of ‘em. I’ll tell ‘em that when I go to my next Brown alumni meeting. Anyway, I gotta get crackin’ here. There’s stuff I gotta do, like take my vitamins, go for a walk, and enjoy the view from 15 wins ahead of you.

Bowden: I hope you trip on your momma’s dick, cripple. WE WILL RISE AGAIN!!!

Paterno: It sounded better when you said it at Gettysburg. You have a nice day, Bobby. Have 15 of them in a row, on me.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

BallHype: hype it up!

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