Just Shut Up Already, Tom

Tom McCarthy is the worst announcer I've ever encountered in Philadelphia sports. Every time he opens his mouth, I can feel my ears start to bleed. And with each game, the guy gets progressively worse.



The guy never shuts, never lets the game do the talking itself. Say what you will about Chris Wheeler, but he tends to, you know, talk about what's going on in the game and, when it relates, tell a story from the past. McCarthy, on the other hand, uses the game as his own personal narrative about whatever story or subject he feels like discussing, calling the game as background music to his mundane, idiotic stories. Following a legend is hard enough to do. There's no reason to try and call more attention to yourself to make us all hate you even more.

Yesterday, he uttered one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. It was something to the effect of, "When you look back at some of these All-Star rosters, there are some really impressive names on there." Well, no shit, Sherlock! It's the fucking ALL-STAR GAME!!!!! Of course the rosters over the years are made up of all-time greats, Hall of Famers … ALL-STARS!!!! The best players of all time generally partake in a lot of All-Star games. Because they are the best players, you see.

Yet there he was, rambling on about how amazing it is that some team in the 70s had Willie Stargell, Joe Morgan, Willie Mays and Hank Aaron. Who would ever have thought that the best players in the game would all make the All-Star team at the same time? HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Maybe I've come to expect too much by being spoiled by Harry Kalas and Richie Ashburn growing up. But then again, I don't recall being as annoyed with Larry Andersen or Scott Graham when Whitey died and Andy Musser retired. Because Graham and L.A. (and Scott Franzke) don't suck. They don't spend the 2 and half to 3 hours plus of baseball spewing narrative. They use it to talk baseball and explain the game, and to let the game do the talking for them from time to time.

I can't take another full season of Tom McCarthy. Sadly, it seems like he is the Phils' guy to replace Harry. And that sucks, because McCarthy is by far the worst Philadelphia broadcaster of my lifetime.