In Case You Were Wondering, Yes, the Pirates are Still an MLB Team and Links

To outsiders, Pennsylvania may seem like one northern hickish state with two major metropolitan areas — a state united by its stupidity and obeseness.



In reality, Pennsylvania is made up of two entirely different places that might as well be in different nations, let alone states. There is the Philadelphia area, and the rest of the state that sucks incredibly hard. There is no disputing this. I know. I'm a born and bred Philadelphia area young fellow who spent his college years in the middle of Pennsylvania surrounded by mongoloids from the west. They don't like us. We don't like them. That's science. There is no overcoming this.

I feel a greater connection to the shithole that is New Jersey than my western brethren in my own state. That should tell you something. I prefer New Jerseyans to western Pennsylvanians. They and their six Super Bowl rings and their three Stanley Cup championships can go get fucked. Damn right I'm jealous, but just of the rings, not of anything else. You're practically West Virginia.

Of course, I bring this all up because tonight the sorry excuse for a franchise from the west comes to our great (crime-riddled, racist?) city, where you're God Damn right our very nation was founded! I thoroughly look forward to the impending sweep to wrap up an outstanding homestand before the All-Star festivities embark on Monday. Pittsburgh sucks.

Let's link …

-When is an appropriate time to break out the "C" word? When some lady goes to a Phillies game and instead of watching the action, reads a fucking Vanity Fair.



Full disclosure, I watched the Curb Your Enthusiasm last night where Larry David calls the gay guy from HBO a cunt during a poker game. That episode is fantastic.



-Apparently, Antero Niittymaki is signing with the Lightning.

-Penn State lands another quarterback recruit:



-Former Eagles receiver Donte Stallworth got drunk and high, got behind the wheel and killed a guy. Now he's been released from prison after serving 24 days. For DUI manslaughter. Seriously, 24 days. America and the courts make absolutely no sense at all, via Deadspin.

-Antone has a little fun with the whole LeBron getting dunked on Nike-gate business:



-As if you didn't already miss Harry enough having to listen to the insufferable Tom McCarthy every night, Iracane, who is headed to Philadelphia for the weekend, posted this:



I miss Whitey and Harry so freakin much.

-How Lenny Dykstra invested his money.

-Daniel Murphy: He's the best … and the worst:





-Adam Gretz profiles two former Flyers who are free agents, then shows his stupidity by calling Marty Biron "the weak link in Philadelphia the past two seasons." Clearly he didn't actually watch the Flyers whatsoever, because if he did, he'd know the defense was the weak link in Philadelphia the past two seasons. Perhaps you should have said scapegoat instead of weak link, especially seeing how Biron played out of his freakin mind in the 2008 playoffs. Sometimes I wonder if these guys even watch sports.

Yeah, that's pretty much it for me today. I'm tired. My back hurts. And it's entirely too nice to be inside an office with horrifying neon lights. Stay in college, kids, as long as humanly possible. Even if you're stuck with people from Pittsburgh.