I Would Marry Zoe Bouchelle Right Now

For those of you who don't know Zoe Bouchelle, she is a senior midfielder on the Penn State women's soccer team, and she, along with fellow teammates junior goalie Alyssa Naeher and junior forward Katie Schoepfer, have been named to the Hermann Trophy watch list.



For those of you wondering what the Hermann Trophy is, basically it's the Heisman Trophy of women's soccer—a pretty big deal. Now, what you may be wondering is why on earth do I care about this? Well, let me tell you all a little story, after another photo of Ms. Bouchelle.



You see, as a sophomore at Penn State and foolishly a journalism major, I joined The Daily Collegian as a sportswriter. In my junior year, I had the privilege of covering the women's soccer team with my roommate. And believe it or not, covering women's soccer is a privilege if you're not lucky enough to get the football beat. Women soccer players are, shall we say, extremely attractive. Most female athletes aren't.

Needless to say, I was excited to see some good-looking women play a sport I used to partake in. And all it took was one practice for me to fall in love. Her name was Zoe Bouchelle, a hotshot freshman from Notre Dame Prep in Maryland and a drop-dead gorgeous blonde, if I do say so myself. Penn State's coach at the time, Paula Wilkins, was looking for big things out of Zoe, and I was more than happy to write a few feature stories on my new favorite Nittany Lion. But low and behold, Bouchelle suffered a stress fracture in her foot and had to be redshirted. My dreams were ruined.

In practice, she was isolated, rehabbing her foot, and at games, I had a job to do, talking to players and coaches that actually participated. My enthusiasm dwindled a bit, although there was plenty of eye candy on the team. Still, I only truly had eyes for Zoe, whom I never had the chance to profess my true love to. I sincerely regret this.







Her game-action photos do not do her justice, but trust me, I'd marry her right now if she was willing. Hopefully I see her this year at Penn State, as I'll have plenty of chances with football season tickets and all, and maybe I'll even get a chance to do this:



And, ideally, whole lot more. Whether that be the case or not, I salute you Zoe Bouchelle, and I wish you the best in your quest for the Hermann Trophy. And if by the slimmest of chances you are reading this, feel free to shoot an email my way. It would certainly make my day.