Monday, August 11, 2008

The Longest Weekend of My Life

I gotta tell ya, it was one hell of a glorious weekend for this guy.

Things started out with a sports fan's wet dream Friday night, what with the Phils and Eagles taking on those black and gold hicks from the retarded side of the state. Unfortunately for me, we do not yet have two televisions in the living room to accommodate my sports addiction, so I was forced to flip back and forth. Luckily, we'll have another TV mounted above the one we already have in time for the NFL regular season. Seeing as it was the Phillies' 115th game of the year, I opted to focus most of my attention on the Birds.

My verdict for the first preseason game of the year? An optimistic thumbs up despite the 16-10 loss. Donovan McNabb looked like the Pro Bowler he used to be, moving around effortlessly and picking apart the Pittsburgh defense, leading the Eagles to 10 points in his only two drives of the game, capped by a touchdown pass to Jason Davis.

Rookie DeSean Jackson looked very strong at receiver, showing off great instincts and excellent hands while hauling in 5 catches for 51 yards.

The defense looked pretty pathetic on the first drive, letting the Steelers march right down the field and score, but they did rebound for a stop on the second series. However, conspicuously absent were the young trio of linebackers, with Stewart Bradley, Omar Gaither and Chris Gocong doing absolutely nothing. Quintin Mikell, on the other hand, played an excellent game, blowing up a few Steelers and proving once again he is head and shoulders above Sean "I Can't Tackle" Considine. I won't lie, about midway through the second quarter, I headed back to the Phils for the night.

And that turned out to be a major mistake. For what seemed like the millionth time this season, the Phils' bats went silent against a bad team. Granted, Paul Maholm has been on a roll for the Buccos, but this alleged potent offense went limp, wasting a brilliant one-hit, seven-strikeout performance over seven innings by Joe Blanton.

The game went extras and Les Walrond proved once again that he is not, in fact, a Major League pitcher, surrendering 2 runs on three hits to bring his impressive ERA to a lofty 16.20. To add insult to injury, Brandon Moss made an impressive diving catch in the bottom of the 12th to rob Chase Utley of a potential game-tying double and end the game. That was annoying.

On Saturday, I made my 20th? (a guesstimate) trip to The House That Glanville Built this season, and for some reason got there around 4 p.m. for a 7:05 start.

Let's just say that after a 30-case of that, some grilled food and a couple games of washers, I was more than ready for the start of the game. Luckily for Brett Myers, none of my drunkeness produced any hatred whatsoever, certainly helped by his continuation of his recent success. Brett had no trouble handling the pathetic Pittsburgh offense, and his only problem came with Charlie Manuel taking him out before he could finish the 8th. You just know he wanted to punch Charlie.

J-Roll continued to answer his critics of late, going 4-for-4 with two triples to lead the Phils to a 4-2 win. It was pretty sweet, even though Chase put up another 0-for and Brad Lidge failed to come in for the save due to shoulder tightness. Note from Donovan McNabb: He didn't say tendinitis. He said tightness.

After the game, I celebrated by getting even more drunk, which turned out to not be the best life decision I've ever made, but I'm getting older by the day, so I'll take any reason to drink I can get.

And I have to tell you, I was never more happy for a rain delay than yesterday. 1:35 was just too early of a start for my hung-over ass, so I took a solid nap and awoke about a half hour before the rain relented. The game was a pretty shitty watch most of the way, but man was it great to see Chase launch that two-run bomb in the seventh to not only put the Phils ahead for good, but to break out of another one of his mini-slumps. Let's hope he has no more of those.

All in all, it was a pretty sweet weekend. Shawn Andrews finally reported to camp. The Phils are two games up in the division. And it actually wasn't incredibly hot in Philadelphia. Now we get a little West Coast trip, so get ready to stay up late this week kids.

Oh yeah, Vince is a whiny little bitch. Happy Monday!

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