Updates All Around

All right, enough is enough! It's almost lunch time, and I have all afternoon to bitch about work. There's been a shitload of happenings I haven't had a chance to address, so here goes.

First off, Apparently Dan Klecko has a great shot at making the Eagles at defensive tackle because the Birds cut Kimo von Oelhoffen and Montae Reagor has a knee injury. I sure am glad they decided to put Trevor Laws on the Physically Unable to Perform list. Idiots.



Rich Hoffman of the Daily News basically says in this piece of garbage that you can't take anything out of the preseason. Rich Hoffman also would like everyone to know that internships, college and practice are pointless. Oh, wait, he might have a point.

While I basically did a lot more drinking and playing Madden in college than going to class, found more ways to get out of work than trying to do shit in my "internship" and never really enjoyed practice in any sport unless we scrimmaged, I did learn important things. And while the preseason may be boring as fuck and matter not one bit in regard to how the team will perform, it does offer valuable learning experiences for younger players and let's us all take an early assessment of things. Plus, it's fucking football. In August. That sure as shit beats watching the Padres take on the Pirates in game No. 8,000 of the baseball season.

On the Olympic front, I gotta say, handball is by far the gayest sport ever. Period. If you like watching it, there is something wrong with you. Michael Phelps is an android from the planet Fuck Mark Spitz, programmed to obliterate the swimming competition. Volleyball is exciting to watch. Beach volleyball has better things to look at.







The USA will win gold in basketball. We have Kobe. And Lebron. And they're friends! And this commercial is fucking awesome.



And I'm a little excited to see the people run really, really fast.

Joe Paterno agrees that ESPN is full of douchebags.

And in more Penn State news, former soccer goddess Aubrey Aden-Buie will be playing field hockey this season. For those of you not familiar with Ms. Aden-Buie, she spent the last four years as a starter on the Penn State women's soccer team and was granted a fifth year of eligibility, which she will take to play field hockey. And she looks like this.



Cute, but I've always been a Zoe Bouchelle/Ali Krieger/Tiff Weimer kind of guy myself. Call me old-fashioned.

In even more Penn State-related news, my uncle sent me this e-mail:

St. Louis Rams cornerback Justin King's rookie season is over before it started after he tore a ligament in his left big toe in Saturday night's preseason opener against Tennessee.

The injury will require season-ending surgery.

"He said it was just a fluke deal and said he got it trapped under a guy's foot or stepped funny and rolled over it," coach Scott Linehan said.

King will be placed on injured reserve. The fourth-round draft choice from Penn State had made a strong early impression in camp and was working as the team's third cornerback against Tennessee.

Thought to be more of a raw prospect than an instant contributor, King proved to be more ready for game action than originally thought. He was playing regularly in the team's nickel package against the Titans before coming out with about 2 minutes left in the first quarter.

"It's a weird kind of deal," Linehan said. "I feel bad for him because he worked really hard and was really going to push for a lot of playing time."

Looks like someone should have stuck around for his senior season. Or maybe he should have just made some real attempt at covering James Hardy. I'd probably have done that if I was him.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that I, just like Donovan McNabb, still wish the T.O. situation could have worked out longer in Philadelphia, and I'm keeping up hope the Phillies will get on a 2006 Cardinals roll come late September/October. Fuck work, son!