Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Damn the Man...and the limited partnership

For all intents and purposes, the Phils should be 2 games out of first place. Last night's ninth inning comeback would have proven much more difficult had they been facing Billy Wags instead of the consistently inept Mets bullpen. Fear not, as expected this evening we saw a much more phils-like performance. One in which they were unable to manufacture runs, were reliant on the long ball and spotted their opponent early runs because their pitching is atrocious. (Brett Myers said he felt good tonight...If I wanted a joke, Brett, I would have followed you into the bathroom and watched you take a piss.)

As I sit here wondering when the Philly Nine will turn the corner (as I do 4-5 times weekly) I am realizing (as I do 4-5 times weekly) that they wont, that is, until there is a change in ownership.

My friends, we have found ourselves in a very helpless position and the Phillies ownership is fuckin lovin it. (Gary Papa is currently reminding me about the fact that we are in a dead heat with the Mets. I want to jump through my TV and punch his make-up caked, douche-face.) I digress. People, the Phils ownership has us just where they want us. The team they trot out on the field has MVPs, All-Stars and is all-around exciting. They compete, build hype and attract casual baseball fans. They have a PROFITABLE team. They have managed to do just enough to keep us watching, buying tickets and believing, but at the end of the day this team has no chance of winning anything.

You know the reason why. If you don't, your Phillies Phandom is currently under scrutiny.

PITCHING! That's right. You know, that common thread that all World Series champions have.

This team may have the highest payroll in franchise history, but apparently its not enough. Where is ownership when there is an ace available that can put your team over the top? (See New York Mets/Johan Santana, Milwaukee Brewers/CC Sabathia, Chicago Cubs/Rich Harden.)

I'll tell you where they are, they are laughing their asses off doing backflips in an Duck McScrooge-like pool of cash. These assholes are making money hand-over-fist. You think they really care about winning a World Series? Doubtful, these types care about running a profitable business.

Look, I'm not naive enough to liken David Montgomery, Claire Betz, Tri-Play Associates, Double Play Inc., and Giles Limited to UNICEF, but I have doubts that they are committed to taking this franchise to the top of the mountain. (Now Papa is talking about the Soul and the Arena Bowl...Excuse me while I belt myself in the face with a fucking tac-hammer.)

Yes, I understand that you need to develop pitching from your farm league. Yes, I understand that you can't buy championships.

BUT ...

The phils are chalked full of talent, predominately through the heart of the line-up. They can be an offensive juggernaut. However, these guys aren't getting any younger. The ownership is either going to spend the cheddar to get the pitchers we need to make a serious charge at the whole shabang OR watch a team with all the potential in the world get older and older until the window has closed (see Philadelphia Eagles.) I guess Dave Montgomery and the rest of the useless fucks are taking tips from Jeffrey Lurie.

In the meantime, we'll just keep doing what we do best...Line the pockets of the very people who I curse on a daily basis.


  1. Excellent debut. People, welcome to the world of Adam EatShit. There will more negativity to come.

  2. I wouldnt call that negativity, but realization of the truth. We all know that they wont win anything. We have known this for years. Its the phillies for crying out loud.

  3. I wouldnt call that negativity, but realization of the truth. We all know that they wont win anything. We have known this for years. Its the phillies for crying out loud.