Monday, July 7, 2008

We Can't Blame Billy Wagner for This

God damn. Talk about a kick in the balls.

What started as a fantastic fourth of July weekend turned totally sour thanks to two heartbreaking losses on Saturday and Sunday to those second-fiddle New York scumbags. Things were going so well before that, too. On Friday, J.A. Happ kept the Phils in the game to give them a chance to defeat the Mets with Johan on the mound, which they did, right after sweeping the Braves.

Then on Saturday, with John Maine straight up dealing, Ryan Howard decided not to strike out for once, hitting a three-run home run to tie the game. It was the only hit Maine gave up before leaving with the pussiest injury I've ever seen in a baseball game. Three innings later, Jayson Werth came through with a clutch hit to give the Phils the lead in the 7th, and all the Phils had to do was get through one inning before Lidge shut the door.

But no. Romero showed exactly why Boston released him last year, looking more like Ricky Vaughn before he got glasses than an actual pitcher. The walks caused trouble and then Gordon came in and did what Gordon does: suck. Really, can we just stop this Tom Gordon joke? That jerkoff gives up more harmful home runs than anyone that's not currently on the IronPigs.

From there, the heralded Phillies bullpen just got worse, completely imploding. I was fucking pissed. But, shit, the bullpen's been great this year, so I was just chalking up to a bad day.

And then yesterday happened. After a 15 hour rain delay, the game finally resumed. With the Mets scoring in the top of the ninth to make it 2-0, things looked grim … until our old friend Mr. Wagner came in. It's quite comical how much trouble Billy "I'll run my mouth on my way out" Wagner has had with his former mates. And yesterday was no different, as Werth treated Wagner like his bitch, slamming a game-tying 2-run homer with two strikes and two outs in the ninth.

Man that shit was sweet! And then Fernando Tatis (really?) hit a gopher ball by Durbin out to give the Mets the lead in the 12th, and the eventual win. What. The. Fuck. What good is it having the best bullpen in baseball if they can't perform against the fucking Mets?

Those games sucked balls. And honestly, when is this "incredible" hitting team actually going to start hitting before the seventh inning? Can someone tell me? This is starting to get ridiculous. Shane can't hit. Jimmy can't hit. Howard wiffs more than a blind midget trying to hit a pinata. Jenkins should be the one named Werth so we can call him Werthless. And at this point I'd rather have any one of the Phils pitchers at the plate than Carlos Ruiz. Shit, I'd rather have Lieberthal.

This is getting ridiculous. Thankfully, the rest of the division sucks so much the Phils are still in first. But man, they better get their shit together.

Fucking Mets.

Oh yeah. My roommate told me he saw a Mets fan wearing a Joe Carter jersey and a Mets hat. He tried to fight him but instead got kicked out. Seriously, that guy should be fucking castrated, his kids should be maimed and he should be forced to eat shit the rest of his life

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