Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Joys of the Real World

Seeing as psuaar already took care of that whole Brett Favre is a raging douchebag thing, and that there were absolutely no sports of any relevance on last night, I'd like to take this opportunity to really get to the crux of a few things have been bugging the shit out of me lately.

First off, I work in an office building, with offices and cubicles and all the things you expect in a professional setting. Presumably, the people I work with are intelligent human beings, or at least once were, who graduated college and could at least process thoughts quick enough to get hired. Yet, every day when I go to the restroom to take a piss, there is urine all over the floor around the urinals. I shit you not.

Now, my question would be, how fucking hard is it to hit the mammoth target of a urinal from, oh, I don't know, six inches away? Honestly, how bad can your aim be? This makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. It's not like we're in a stadium or some public restroom where peeing on the floor may be either funny or necessary or both. It's the place we work. We come here every day. Why the fuck would you want to pee on the floor? If I ever catch someone doing this, I will request their immediate firing and/or start peeing on them directly. Oh, what, you don't like getting piss on your pants? Well I don't like it on my fucking shoes asshole!

Second, every single god damn day, SEPTA sucks just a little bit more. But, surprisingly, I don't blame SEPTA for this. No, I blame all these lazy, fat motherfuckers in this shithole of a city. Ever since gas prices have surpassed $4 a gallon, the el has been flooded with people. It's crowded, it's hot, and many of these people smell rather bad. But that's all to be expected. It's summertime in Philly. It's hot as hell.

The thing that pisses me off? The morbidly obese people that try to shove their way onto crowded cars. Have you ever looked in the mirror before fatty? You aren't going to fit. Not happening. Would it really kill you to stand an extra five minutes to wait for the next train? Oh, it would? Good, fuck you! Normal sized people could then possibly breathe.

It's really pathetic. I apologize for the ranting and raving, but this shit has been pissing me off for a little while now. Anyway, hopefully I won't be very busy at work today and can at least put up some cool videos or something unless, by some miracle, a sports subject comes along of interest. If not, blame it on my feeble attempts to clean the piss off the bottom of my shoes.


  1. you nailed it. fat people love pushing there way onto trains. I dont understand if people dont shower or wear deodorant, but thebody odor problem in this country is out of control.