A Rock and a Hard Place

Seeing as Ryan Howard is leading all of baseball with 27 home runs and second only to Josh Hamilton in RBIs, not to mention the fact he singlehandedly stopped the Phils' latest skid by winning the last two games, all the Ryan bashers should just shut up. The man is fine. Except he in the field. He still sucks at that.



Now, on to more pressing matters. I'm in a pickle. A major pickle. Today, for my "real" job, I'm supposed to interview someone at The Dallas Morning News about the newspaper's promotion to win Cowboys season tickets for 2008.

Seriously. I'm not making this up. The real question is, as a die hard Eagles fan that truly despises the Cowboys—to the point where, if I find out someone likes the Cowboys, I instantly want to punch them in the face—supposed to talk to a couple people from Dallas who almost definitely like the Cowboys and unquestionably promote them? I've had a DALLAS SUCKS bumper sticker hanging in my bedroom since I was 7 years old, a gift from my grandfather, and last Christmas, my dad got me a DALLAS SUCKS shirt.



This seems like an impossibility. I'm already picturing one of them saying, "Hey, you're from Philadelphia, are you an Eagles fan?" and suddenly the entire nature of the conversation turning toward fandom. This, of course, would be my demise. If the conversation steers that way, I will certainly be fired. No questions asked. The bile I will spew in Dallas' direction will be career suicide.

So, I ask you, what am I to do? Do I simply suck it up, act polite and do my job without the slightest hint of detest in my voice? Or do I become the raving lunatic that inhabits my person when the Birds take on those rat-fuckers from Texas?

I'm not even sure there's a correct answer. I should have just called out sick today.

I'll give you an update, most likely Monday, because I'm sure I'll be too traumatized to tackle it today. What a horrible way to end a work week.