Bigger Douche: T.J. Simers or Jay Mariotti?

Listen, I really didn't want to waste any effort or time dissecting T.J. Simer's complete hack job on Philadelphia today, and I won't link to the story because it's pathetic and recycled. He wrote virtually the exact same article in 2001 when the Sixers were playing the Lakers in the NBA Finals.

But, many people over the Internets have been trashing the hack piece, and I urge you all to read their takes on the topic, but please, don't waste your time reading Simers or e-mailing him. That's exactly what he wants.

-Enrico goes off on Simers.

-Rob Iracane calls Simers a hack.

-Eamonn Brennan says Simers is a sad, pathetic man.

-And there is the e-mail I received from Adam EatShit, who was fired up and took the bait. I do not recommend following his actions, because Simers is an attention whore and wants all this vindictive so he can write about it again. However, it was entertaining:

Subject: LA TIMES ARTICLE

Fellas,

I read this article from this uber-douche bag in the LA TIMES today. I found it to be fraudulent and pretentious. So I wrote him an email explaining why he sucked. I figured you may enjoy it. Make sure you read the article first. God Bless the Phillies.


Yo TJ,

Perhaps the only thing you and I share in common (thank the good lord) is we most likely graduated college with a degree in journalism. Here are two of many stark differences: I actually retained what I was taught and you’re not very good at writing. Editorial pieces are supposed to exhibit your opinion but use facts and statistics to back your reasoning. This article is nothing more than a petty attack on the city and generalizes an entire population. People like myself, who have lived here since birth, will take offense. I get the fact that you’re trying to illicit a certain emotion, but, for the record, fuck you. Your article stinks.

Facts:

Cole Hamels had the same amount of wins, lost 1 less game and has a lower ERA than Derek Lowe. The Phillies also scored 99 more runs than the Dodgers did this year (I understand the Manny factor). Contract year? Advantage Lowe? C’mon TJ, that’s bush league. Give us some facts. How about this: The Phillies are 11-6 when Cole Hamels pitches at home…ADVANTAGE HAMELS.

Brett Myers has more losses than wins, this is true. You know who else has more losses than wins? Hiroki Kuroda does. As a matter of FACT, TJ, since Brett lost to the Dodgers In August, he’s 6-3. Four of those wins have come at home.

Excerpt: The Dodgers hitters weren't much earlier this season, but even at their worst, they feasted on pitchers like Moyer and Blanton.”

Where are the stats to back up these fraudulent, poorly written statements, TJ? If you’re going to tell us this, why don’t give us a reason to believe you. Pal, I could tell you that your good looking and talented, but I couldn’t publish that in a well respected paper because I can’t substantiate it…Try that for a rule of thumb, people will find you believable.

Philadelphia may not be as clean, scenic or glamorous as L.A. but at least it has some character. I’m sorry that Philly’s blue collar, average people offend your delicate sensibilities oh-so horrendously, TJ. Get off your high horse, Philly is a great town—its just not nearly as artificial and INGENUINE as your stereotypical LA socialite. When you’re sitting in the press area tonight, pay close attention to the loyal fans of Philadelphia and maybe, just maybe you’ll learn to appreciate how loyal we are to each other and the teams that play for our city.

LETS GO PHILS!

Again, please don't follow his lead. T.J. is a raging douche, but that is his schtick. This article riled me up 7 years ago when he wrote it the first time. Now I know better. He is simply a smug, ignorant writer who has been pampered his whole career and now completely disregards the ethics of journalism. In a sense, he is nothing more than a blogger with access. And a hack.

LET'S GO PHILS!!!!!