Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Word to the Wise

Look. If you've watched the game with a small group of friends for the last month, don't stop. If you think to yourself, "Yeah, we've just been at the corner bar all these weeks but tonight, I'm going to go to the Fieldhouse to get nuts," DON'T. For those of you who don't need a crowd to get into a game, stick to your guns.

What I'm talking about is worst move I've made in a while, the one to go down to Benny the Bums tonight to watch game 5. Why not be 400 yards from the very Park the Phils could win it all in? Why not be that much closer to what could possibly be the best moment of my 27 years?

How could that be a bad move?

That would be because apparently this bar (and I assume many others) was filled with a bunch of fuckfaces who were more concerned with getting 6 miller lites for them and their dbag cronies than watching the game. This is because I had to piss in an empty pitcher as if I left my spot I may never regain an angle on a TV. This is because a 2-2 count with nobody on and no out was no different than a full count with 2 out to most of the clueless patrons.

I swear to god if I ever hear another DJ do a "mash-up" of Metallica and some fucking dance beat...words cannot describe the anger that built up. Not that Metallica is that good, it's just that Enter Sandman and Disco Inferno just don't mix. I hate you, douche that was DJ'ing at Benny the Bums Monday night. You truly led me to believe I was in a frat basement waiting for my division 2 football team to get back from their game so we could slam Jacob's Best. You suck hard man.

If you want to watch the game with people who care, watch the game with people you know who care. If you don't, you'll end up a stone's throw from the stadium with a bunch of assholes singing 'sweet caroline' before the game, just waiting to blindly cheer if the Phils win.

All that said- this is the most confounding result that could have possibly happened tonight. I hope they get some type of resolution Tuesday and the Phils are able to pull it out. These hijinks from Mother Nature clearly favor the Rays, as they dodged a bullet from a locked-in Colbert Hamels. LET'S GO PHILS whenever this game is finished.

P.S. Fuck Bud Selig for good measure.


  1. The whole stadium area was a mess. I stopped at the bums and share your sentiments. Better luck on Wednesday with your buds. By the sound of the forecast, I don't think it's happening tonite.

  2. For the shortened game 5 finale, I'm staying home/going to a friend's house and watching the game as god intended: with the TV muted and the stereo tuned to AM radio.

    I've only been to Benny's once and I'm not really surprised by your experience there.

    Have fun next time and GO PHILLIES!

  3. Sometimes, you just gotta stick to your guns.

  4. @Smokey, I concur, I don't think it's going to happen tonite either. Hearing cracks of thunder outside the window right now.

    @abmccabe, yeah I think thats how Benny's is, but I can't think that this was the only spot I would have had that experience. The bars are full of clowns at this juncture.

  5. Absofuckinglutely right about BtB Monday night. We tried to get into McFaddens (BAD idea...and $20 cover? Fuck you.)

    We were stuck in the hotel lobby watching the big screen with "Juice" and his douchebag buddies running cans of beer from the parking lot and verbally abusing the girls in their group.

    I was pretty vocal about my feelings about Juice, and at one point the guy in front of me said "I know Juice; he's my boy. You're right, he's acting like a douche now, but he's my boy." What a fucking moron.

    The upside is that I got lots of pictures for submission to www.HotChicksWithDoucheBags.com