Thursday, September 4, 2008

Now Daunte Can Spend All His Time on Sex Boats

Today Daunte Culpepper retired from the NFL via e-mail. That's sad. Almost as sad as his free-falling plummet from grace.

From the onset, Culpepper was heaving bombs to Randy Moss, putting up ridiculous numbers and fumbling a lot. He seemed like a player who would become an elite quarterback, if he wasn't at the time.

Then, there was the sex boat scandal that rocked the sporting world. You mean rich and famous athletes, who are adored by flocks and flocks of women, would dare have sex on a boat with women? GASP!!! Well, that was the beginning of the end for Daunte. Then this happened and Culpepper was never the same.

Considered damaged goods, Culpepper was let loose by the Vikings, where he was once on top of the world, and latched on with the pathetically quarterback-deprived Miami Dolphins.

Things didn't work out so well there either, as Daunte only managed to take snaps in four games.

Next, he was off to the Raiders for the 2007 season.

He played in an unimpressive seven games, starting six, and fumbling nine times for a horrible Oakland team. Then poof, Daunte disappeared. The NFL fraternity, as it so often does, turned its back on one of the revolutionary quarterbacks once his usefulness had worn out. And I can't say I blame them.

Ever since that injury, Culpepper just has not been the same. It's a shame really, but that's the way the world works. Here's hoping he has a great life of sex boat parties and hanging out with Fred Smoot. I'm sure he'll let Daunte tag along for Redskins games.

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