Friday, September 5, 2008


That's the best way to describe last night's game between the Giants and Redskins. It was truly one of the most pathetic, horrifying games in recent memory. The good news for Eagles fans: The Giants didn't look very good after the midway point of the 2nd quarter, and the Redskins flat-out suck. The Birds just might have a chance in this thing.

The thing about last night's game is it got off to a terrible start for us Eagles fans. The Giants were absolutely mopping the floor with the Redskins. Eli looked like Joe Montana, and Plaxico was simply abusing Fred Smoot. Note to Fred Smoot: 70 percent of the world may be covered by water and the rest by Fred Smoot, if you say so, but you still suck.

It looked as though the Giants were going to run away with things, but then a funny thing happened. They turned into the 2007 Philadelphia Eagles. And by that I mean they couldn't score a touchdown to save their lives. By the graces of God, the Redskins were down just 16-0 in a game that felt like it was 35-0. Then, another miracle occurred, with Jason Campbell actually orchestrating a last-minute drive for a touchdown right before half to make it a 16-7 game.

And oh by the way, Jim Zorn is a fucking horrible coach. His clock management at the end of the first half, not calling a timeout when he had all fucking three of them, was worse than Andy Reid's clock management skills. It was horrible. He got lucky as shit his team scored. What a moron.

The second half was a complete waste of time. Both teams looked like the fucking Atlanta Falcons. And once again, with the Skins down two scores and four minutes left, Jim Zorn refused to get his team in the no huddle offense and even continued to run the damn ball … and time quickly ran out on this pathetic Washington team.

My synopsis for the game: Plaxico is a beast. Justin Tuck is a bigger beast. Jason Taylor sucks. Jason Campbell sucks even more. Where was Chris Cooley? And Jim Zorn is by far the stupidest coach I have ever seen in the history of the world, at least as far as game management and calling plays is concerned. And I've watched Andy Reid. For a decade. That's a scary thought.

The best thing coming out of this game—watching Brandon Jacobs absolutely destroy people, specifically the hard-hitting LaRon Landry.

That game absolutely blew donkey balls, but it was still better than watching the Phillies blow another game. Football is back. In a big way. And after one game, it looks like the Giants and Redskins suck. Sounds good to me. The NFL, it's FANtastic.

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